You Can't Help It - Or CAN You?
There has been a lot of writing about the importance of kindness lately. I guess this is to be expected, in the context of how insane our planet has become. And, you know me, I have been harping on in advocation of empathy for ages - and so forth. (Did I just now make up a new word?) Anyway - kindness is a good thing to be. But there can be problems. A lot of times, kindness only extends to those who are-of-the-same-kind. Which is actually natural. Another problem can be that kindness is made or seen as something artificial and secretly demanding. Another problem is that so many people exploit, abuse or exhaust those who are kind, sometimes - especially when it isn't marketed wisely, that being kind can KILL a person, by and by.
I have always been a big advocate of kindness - and continue to be. But lots of things, especially my exhausting CFS, has taught me that one has to be careful, if not down-right-conservative, when being kind - especially in a dog-eat-dog or, ironically, conservative society. This last conundrum leaves one with the idea that if one is not kind DESPITE the onslaught of the world, then there will never be kindness. And that is the spiritual path that some choose to make.
I believe in doing certain things one believes in, despite what the world wants or demands. Being at least civil is at least one of the ways one can be transcendentally kind without incurring much death. In a bad neighbourhood, once one gets out of the danger of being bullied for it, one can walk along and pick up trash at the same time, even though there comes no personal reward from the world for this. I believe in each serving the better self, and eventually the world will catch up - but if it doesn't, then it doesn't. The point of transcendent kindness is to be true to one's self.
That does not mean I am a stupid hippie, and it does not mean that I am NOT a realist. I am an ultra-realist. So, I do know, by now, that managing one's kindness wisely is the best course to take. In a society full of idiots, a little non-cooperation - and even cruelty - can go a long way in teaching others lessons that they should have learnt at age two, like not everything is free, life isn't easy, and you cannot just take things from nice people who look like suckers. Right? People are not to be played like cards. If there is one thing that is of prime importance in most every place it is self-respect, ahead of repect-from-others, even if that respect may be your next inroad at teaching others the value of kindness. Gotta get your priorities straight - get a game plan. Every man eventually learns or dies: You don't get nowhere without at least a little POWER in your tank. That is just a reality. The very same reality that seeks to quash kindness and stir up wars - but, you work with what you got.
Anyway, here's a nice little article on how it is OK NOT to be kind, at least sometimes. If you are interested in self-preservation first and foremost. No one ever sought advice from a dead nun.
UNLEARNING: Why I Stopped Helping People and You Should Too - BY CAMMI PHAM
Remember - Most rich people got that way by being anti-kind, so. Be a creep, save up your money, and then become a famous philanthropist. God bless this capitalism thing which, I think, has something to do with the whole formula.