My Life As a Sex Doll
Sex doll that responds to human touch, and remembers how people treat it, is latest to be developed in Austria where robots are now more popular than prostitutes in brothels.
- Samantha is a £3,375 sex robot that reacts to being touched
- Thanks to AI software, the interactive sex doll remembers individuals
- Samantha the sex doll can also speak several languages and moan
- She is even said to be able to learn new things thanks to artificial intelligence (AI) software
I have sometimes thought that it might be nice to come back as a sex doll. There isn't a lot of pressure on a sex doll, and everybody likes you, when you're not in the box. You have a lot of time to yourself, thinking artificially intelligent thoughts. And the money is really good.
In real life, the closest I could come to this ideal would be to buy my own sex doll, and rent it out to enquiring suitors. No, seriously. Can you imagine how much money I could make if I bought this sex doll for $3,000, and turned my apartment into a robotic brothel?! (No prostitution or exploitation involved, except of the meat-heads who weirdly like sex dolls). I wouldn't have to do too much except sit around with a gun. (OK, maybe I'd throw myself in for an extra $50). The theatric scenaria are endless.
The problem is, though, that this would rapidly become the talk of the town. Very soon, some big idiot guys would invade my place, and take the doll. Then it would all be over, like so many other failed ventures of my life in the past. My car, with all its tires slashed. My moves to new places, with all my stuff being destroyed by landlords or the police. My mission to make money in Philly, where I collapsed from CFS. My pet seahorse.
So, I have decided to go on one more venture, to escape the tragedy of my mundane, doomed life. Instead of becoming a sex doll, I have decided to become an asexual alien, like my cutting-edge cousin, Vinny...
A 22-year-old undergoes more than 100 surgeries to become an “asexual alien”
People have gotten surgery to become Barbie, or a cat, or Marylin Manson, etc., so would it really be so far-out to be a space alien? Earth will probably be invaded soon, anyway, and so it would be better to look like the enemy. Or, if enough people get the surgery, then we can all invade other planets and look just like we're supposed to, like real aliens. That ought to be a kick, and certainly worth all the trouble and death of soul.
I have wondered why it is that Hollywood people and famous musicians so often die of drug overdoses, suicide, etc. The simple answer is that they are shallow, needy people to begin with, desperate for attention, because they had cruddy childhoods. And, so, the great prize of fame and fortune inevitably disappoints them, and they crash. Sometimes in airplanes.
But, then I think back to when I was a pop star diva, posing for the social media camera, attracting three or four thousand friends online... Hugely popular. But when it came down to it, I may well have been a lifeless sex doll, because al it was was just loneliness. An empty room with me and a camera, with all this fame out in the real world - something that I could not touch or know, even if it were to pay me millions. And why do the consumers consume this glitter? It is because they are alone in their own boxes, feigning community. An army of virtual sex dolls, projecting.
I look at Miley Cyrus, and I see this arrogance of loneliness. The passing wonder of youthfulness - hot boobs, tight skin, agile contortions - it is like another cold box containing what? Who is really inside that box but a stranger to the self, soaking up all this limelight as sad consolation for presence, punching and posing and pushing to get on with the next trick, not having known oneself since, perhaps, childhood. The blooming flower of sexuality, it diverts us into a life of evasion and denial, and so of drugs and false relationships. Before we know it, we see that all we have been doing has been feeding the fire of death.
What more, in the case of those who make a career of it?
Can't Be Tamed! Miley Cyrus poses completely NUDE for David LaChapelle's new coffee table book
The human sex doll. Miley! You are naked in a room. Alone. Doing what? What are you doing? Imagine the truth: that there is no one really there with you. Time is whizzing by outside your window. What you thought was glory was really a paid, glorified waste of time. You are an old woman now, already. And what have you done? It's pretty sad. Like A Portrait of Dorian Grey:
A butterfly on the outside, and a tortured Kafkaesque monster within - the shell of a former self.
Step right up. Gaze upon the human insect. Sex doll for the ages.
Woops, oh well, I guess my plan won't work in China, damned commies...
OMG that's my sister!
Suspended sex doll-sharing service ‘had bad influence on Chinese society’
(That's a messed up title. If the service has a bad influence when suspended, then that means it should be reinstated... It sure is taking those Russians a long time to learn English, and I think this is the main problem with our country today.)
What wait - there's more? (9/22/17) -
Robot sex dolls that let men simulate rape should be outlawed, campaigner says