"Sickened!"
I have generalised my contempt for summer gnats to basically all Americans. Including the foreign ones.
This is Day FIVE of serious brain probs, mainly migraine, pain, fog, strain, things which rhyme with brain, fatigue, continuous perplexion whilst awake, and irritation based on cognitive incompetence. Nevertheless, this is America, and I've got a right to sing the blues.
Despite pain on the brain, et al, I went out today, as planned. Probably a big mistake. I can already tell you that it was the worst. First, let me mention NPR, which is a joke. Next, let me mention Alex Jones, which is also a joke. After that, I prepped to go. Surprisingly my migraine did not subside, and it still persists. Oh, did I mention the constant gnats in my face?
Everything that happened today was from a crappy other universe, i.e., Stupidtown. I did get a loan of $200 for an AC, but this was offset by yet another grueling encounter at the bank, with Indonesian girl. I think I am going to end my account there, just so I can get away from her, and from the perverse girl games that are going on there. I cannot lend my sexiness to such bitchery. I have come up with the most appropriate description of Indonesian Girl, which I may use in my learned letter to the head of the bank when I flee: She is a jealous, self-important little control freak. Now, think back to this sort of sod in your life, and you will know exactly whom I am about talking.
People everywhere were creepy. It was a creep fest. And the flies outside the supermarket where I sat waiting for my bus home buzzed and irritated and bit, like gnats only gigantic. What is the point of even showering? (I think that is a quote from George Washington). While I waited there, this dark little SUV kept driving back and forth, back and forth. It went past a DOZEN TIMES, with its stupid music blasting, and the guy's hand hitting the top of the car, cuz oh yeah. I could have told management and caused everyone to go screaming away in fear of terrorism.
And the guy working the carts outside is standing like a hundred feet away from me trying to strike up a conversation with me about something about a bottle and a cap, and wtf. Seriously, he kept carrying on as if I even cared. It was ridiculous. Why am I here?! Then the guy in the black SUV finally parked and walked into the store, glaring at me with black superiority, dressed in the most absurd, loud Hawaiian pantsuit or something, and totally short. I don't even understand why people are allowed to exist. I don't even have a car and look at this joker.
This is the pre-4th beginning. THE WORST TIME OF THE YEAR. Especially if you're a white male in a dysfunctional town full of idiot blacks and rednecks who have handed over their professional positions and leadership to people with all sorts of accents. So far, I have kept the attacks away from me locally. Not like before, when there were endless firecrackers, gunshots and shouts outside my place. Instead of ALL SPRING, recently, the cherry bomms didn't happen until just the night before July 4. So, whatever happens now, maybe they will alarm the old bald white guy downstairs this time. he has no idea how I have, through my psychological cunning, managed to turn the little neighbourhood around. But, if you look at the police maps, you will see it.
Call me a conspiracy theorist.
Anyway, here's the weird thing. First of all, let me say that I am giving up on American Girl. I blame her for enabling the BS at the bank. Or not quitting. If she wants me, she can find me. But my sense is that she is just another girl confused about what and who she wants. She loves my independent spirit - which is what Indonesian Girl is on a mission to drown. So. Why would I want to be in any of that?
OK - really - here is the weird thing. I am suddenly covertly popular with City workers, for some unknown reason. They wave at me as they drive by. Park workers. Road construction. Police. I have no idea what is going on. I have theories. I do know that this always happens in my life. Whatever I do - even if it is to try to get away from everyone - people eventually start talking about me. I guess it is respect, for the moment, and probably hatred later.
I don't have it in me to postulate on how this happened. Maybe some other post.
Sheryl Crow sings, "Every Day is a Winding Road." She was Harrison-inspired, by way of Clapton.
I've been living on a sea of anarchy. I am washing my brain in wine. I know this won't wash with my migraine which never ended. But I keep singing. Every day. I get a little bit closer. To feeling fine?
"Something like that."
PS - The Chewy shipment arrived today, (so that meant that there is no way I could could afford winging an AC w/o a loan). This was welcomed as a special moment which my dog and I share, opening the box, talking, smelling, tasting cookies. Smiling. Lollygagging. For $50.00, I got a great deal this time, with free shipping. 5 bags of grain-free treats - meaning no more spending money on treats this month. And, a super-discounted bag of grain-free dog food. And, 6 cans of gf wet dog food. AND, a big jar of fish oil. Since my dog gets plenty of fish oil in his dog food, I got THIS for ME. But, on the label, it says, "Not for human consumption". PLEASE EXPLAIN WHY THIS IS OK FOR PETS BUT NOT FOR HUMANS! pfft!
And - I did go to buy an AC, but the one I wanted was out of stock. Stay tuned on this continuing drama. One big mistake I made in my life was in giving away an AC when I moved out of my last place. But I have SO MUCH STUFF ALREADY.
And - yesterday, I was out with my dog, and I heard all this female shouting or screaming. I thought it was a couple of girls just having fun. I really couldn't figure out precisely where it was coming from. Then, some black male started walking from that direction, in my direction. He then turned that corner, and went back into the direction from which he came, (via a dif route). Meanwhile, the female voice seemed to scream loudly something which sounded a lot like my name. (?) Was she warning me about him? Was he pretending to come and hurt me? When he returned to her, her screaming was, like, screams from violence. I have no idea what or where this was all about. But, it's the kind of thing I first encountered when I moved here. It was probably just more stupid sex games, basically, based on psychological dysfunction.