a brief history...
so i have not posted properly in a while now - though i found an entry i wrote ages ago and never posted...
3rd July 2008
the air is heavy and thick and it smells like sweet sweet green
the sky is so dark and weighty overhead it looks like it might fall down on us at any moment
a rumble in the distance
a whirring of circadas not so far
summer seems to be reappearing here. not the same as england. of course. but i love it
* ** * ** * ** * **
yesss, that was a long while ago now.
i have since been to England and had some real english summer :) yay!
stupidly, since i have come back here i have not stopped being homesick. still MAKING myself get out there and do stuff and enjoy it, but ANY free time at all - and my brain has only one place in mind and that is the UK and everyone in it! schplooo!
also, i am a muppet. everyone over here who knows me at all told me it was a BAD idea to date my ex boyfriend again. but he worked so hard to get me back and show me he'd changed for over a month, i thought he deserved a second chance. things were awesome for a month or so, but they are fast slipping back to just as they were before: he tells me off about the stupidest smallest unnecessary things all the time and makes me feel small.
example: yesterday, he was literally telling me off for being disorganised and not preparing well enough for a weekend in the city because i forgot my dictionary. he made me cry by telling me off for forgetting my dictionary when everyone knows my personality is that of a scatterbrain who is quite likely to do things like forget her dictionary! i walked off in the end whilst he was still going on at me. i won't be made to cry in a shopping mall over forgetting my dictionary!
i feel like these incidents turn me into some sort of melodramatic drama queen, but i feel like i have to do something - i refuse to be squashed down again like last time. either he fixes up, or i am going back to being single.
truth be told i know where my heart is. i probably started dating this guy for all the wrong reasons and to try and put my heart somewhere it's not to make things more convenient. but alas, whilst i care about this guy a lot, he's never going to have my heart. it's already someone else's :(
schploooo
anyway.
other things here have been ok. went whale watching last weekend - saw no whales but it was SO cool cos we saw a shed load of dolphins - they were amazing! also been playing footie in knee-deep mud in paddy fields, booking my flights for the winter hols (going to beijing), showing people around my village and...yeah, it's alllright.
and harriet's coming out to visit next weekend for a week - so happy about that! speaking of, i must get back to cleaning and tidying so we can actually move in this place!
bye for now
xx
3rd July 2008
the air is heavy and thick and it smells like sweet sweet green
the sky is so dark and weighty overhead it looks like it might fall down on us at any moment
a rumble in the distance
a whirring of circadas not so far
summer seems to be reappearing here. not the same as england. of course. but i love it
* ** * ** * ** * **
yesss, that was a long while ago now.
i have since been to England and had some real english summer :) yay!
stupidly, since i have come back here i have not stopped being homesick. still MAKING myself get out there and do stuff and enjoy it, but ANY free time at all - and my brain has only one place in mind and that is the UK and everyone in it! schplooo!
also, i am a muppet. everyone over here who knows me at all told me it was a BAD idea to date my ex boyfriend again. but he worked so hard to get me back and show me he'd changed for over a month, i thought he deserved a second chance. things were awesome for a month or so, but they are fast slipping back to just as they were before: he tells me off about the stupidest smallest unnecessary things all the time and makes me feel small.
example: yesterday, he was literally telling me off for being disorganised and not preparing well enough for a weekend in the city because i forgot my dictionary. he made me cry by telling me off for forgetting my dictionary when everyone knows my personality is that of a scatterbrain who is quite likely to do things like forget her dictionary! i walked off in the end whilst he was still going on at me. i won't be made to cry in a shopping mall over forgetting my dictionary!
i feel like these incidents turn me into some sort of melodramatic drama queen, but i feel like i have to do something - i refuse to be squashed down again like last time. either he fixes up, or i am going back to being single.
truth be told i know where my heart is. i probably started dating this guy for all the wrong reasons and to try and put my heart somewhere it's not to make things more convenient. but alas, whilst i care about this guy a lot, he's never going to have my heart. it's already someone else's :(
schploooo
anyway.
other things here have been ok. went whale watching last weekend - saw no whales but it was SO cool cos we saw a shed load of dolphins - they were amazing! also been playing footie in knee-deep mud in paddy fields, booking my flights for the winter hols (going to beijing), showing people around my village and...yeah, it's alllright.
and harriet's coming out to visit next weekend for a week - so happy about that! speaking of, i must get back to cleaning and tidying so we can actually move in this place!
bye for now
xx