The Monster Returns [video]

[madlydancing]

[ Once the SFC flickers on, the foreboding visage of the Phantasmal Harlequin pops into view. A wicked grin settles upon Kefka's face as he reclines within the modern luxury of his apartment. Not a single flicker of light shines within his handsome abode, but Kefka's stark-white face is quite noticeable even within the oppressive darkness. Dressed

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[Video]

[lockandkeyblade]

That would be the worst holiday ever.

And it's Christmas.

[Video]

[madlydancing]

[He rolls his eyes once the annoying brat comes into view. Kefka was surprised the kid wasn't dead in a ditch somewhere.]

Yeah right! My holiday would be better than yours! Instead of my worshipers making snow men and kissing under gysahl greens, they would be destroying the world!

Nothing can top that, not even jolly old Saint Nickolas.

[Video] whoops too soon.

[lockandkeyblade]

[Ditches aren't his thing. Neither is being dead. Just a preference thing, you know?]

Who'd wanna celebrate the world being destroyed!? Nobody, that's who!

[Video]

[madlydancing]

[Why cling to life?]

Since when did you speak for the ENTIRE population? Not everyone wants to linger about in futility day in and day out!

Life itself is nothing more than a nuisance. Destruction is much more appealing!

[Video]

[lockandkeyblade]

[Well, if you like ditches so much, why don't you marry one? I mean uh... go find one yourself?]

I may not speak for everybody, but I know a whole bunch of us like being alive, so no thanks!

[madlydancing]

[Ooooh~! So mean! You're getting a lump of coal.]

But killing you guys would be so much fun!

[lockandkeyblade]

[-what? No! I didn't mean it like that, I just meant to lie in it and not make trouble for a while, not... I'M TRYING TO GET ON THE GOOD LIST, DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME.]

Yeah, to you maybe!

What's your problem, anyway!? How come you always wanna destroy everything?

[madlydancing]

[NO CHRISTMAS FOR YOU! /Christmas Nazi]

Cause I'm soooooooooo bored! This pitiful little hamlet isn't even worth the effort, but I wanna do something fun!

So, I'm gonna destroy it.

[lockandkeyblade]

[/Goes WWII on your Christmas Nazi with HOLIDAY CHEER TABLE FLIP OF RAGE!]

If you're bored, then go find a hobby like normal people!

You're not a god, you're just a big bully with nothing better to do.

[madlydancing]

[Iyaaaaan~! Not the Atomic Cheer Table Flip of Rage!!]

You're really startin' to tick me off! This place is so boring that it doesn't even DESERVE to exist!

[lockandkeyblade]

And who asked you?

You're not the boss, you don't decide who deserves what. You're stuck here just like the rest of us.

[madlydancing]

'Me' of course~!

You guys get what you deserve, nothing more nothing less! Besides, you'll thank me in the end. Uwehehe!

[lockandkeyblade]

Yeah well, if somebody's gonna get what they deserve this Christmas, it's you...

[Sora makes a face and writes something on a wrinkled piece of paper off screen.]

[madlydancing]

Eh?

[Uh oh! What the hell are YOU writing, Sora? What's this ominous vibe going on?]

Huh? What are you doing?

[lockandkeyblade]

[Looks up at the screen. Eyes narrow just a bit. Then he looks back down again. Underlining several times.]

Don't worry about it.

[madlydancing]

[...]

WHAT DID YOU DO, YOU LITTLE BRAT?!