The Grumpiest Clown Ever - 001 [video]

[madlydancing]

[All that yipping and blabbering earlier left the poor clown with a nasty headache. If he didn't know any better, Kefka would have assumed that someone's been messing around in his head! However, it's not exactly that but rather the arrival of a new curse. That's why this jester looks so disoriented right now. Kefka can literally smell and hear

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[ video ]

[silver_pipe]

I'm sorry, what?

You don't exactly look like the cleanest of people, you're probably just smelling yourself.

[ video ]

[madlydancing]

[He rolled his eyes once this shaggy blond woman appeared.]

As if you are, stinky. I bet a dog can sniff you a MILE away because of your teen spirit.

[silver_pipe]

I dunno about a dog smelling me from a mile away but I bet one could see you from a mile away. What's that? Glow in the dark face paint? Aren't you a little old for dressing up like a clown?

[madlydancing]

What's this? Angry that you don't possess the same wonderful fashion? Ha! Maybe if you did something about that drab haircut, then maybe you'll look like something, missie.

You look hideous!

[ video ]

[silver_pipe]

Hideous?!

You watch your mouth, you freak! Like you're one to judge!?

[ video ]

[madlydancing]

[A cruel smirk appeared upon the jester's face.]

I can judge whoever I want! You're an ugly little duckling who's feathers are going to get singed off by my magic!

[ video ]

[silver_pipe]

Is that right, Bingo the Clowno?

You think you frighten me? Tch, yeah right. You bring your "magic tricks", I've got a couple of my own.

[madlydancing]

Bingo?

[The jester starts snickering.]

The name is KEFKA, idiot! Kefka Palazzo, the God of Magic! I doubt your magic tricks are anything like the stuff I can do.

[Pointing his finger towards the camera, red sparks began to flow along his fingertip before forming into bright amber flames.]

I could burn your retinas out with my pinky!

[silver_pipe]

[ Some small, dark, hidden part of Heather likes and hates fire. A lot. ]

Oh sure, you probably could... But lemme know how it goes when I shoot a couple of shotgun shells in your stomach? That usually stops people from being massive pyromaniacs, I heard.

[madlydancing]

Oh? You own firearms just like Alucard, don't you?

[He's still writhing in pain thanks to the two gunshots that the vampire fired at him. The wounds are healing up quickly, but not quickly enough in Kefka's opinion.]

HOW DELIGHTFUL! I'm going to have such fun turning your precious toy against you!

[silver_pipe]

Heh...

My boomsticks are bigger than his, to be fair, he's got the whole vampire powers thing that I don't have but hey.

I don't know what sort of people you've fought before? But you won't be turning anything of mine against me...

And. Hey, guess what? You can still back out of this and I won't even call you a coward!

[madlydancing]

Me scared of a little girl who can't DRESS herself? Not likely, darlin'. Not likely at all!

[Wait, this little hussy is human? Oh boo! That is so boring.]

You're a normal girl, aren't ya? A frail little damsel who's constantly in distress. Meh, I can take you on if you're feelin' suicidal enough.

[silver_pipe]

You can't honestly be criticizing my clothes! Look at yourself, you dress like a clown.

And so what! What's wrong with being normal! I like being normal! I'd rather be normal that a freak like you!!

[ That's right, Heather's a completely normal teenager, her Dad told her so. All that junk about Alessa and birthing God was just... that. Junk. ]

[madlydancing]

I'M NOT A FREAK, GOT IT?! Besides, being normal is so borrrrrrring! Why be normal when you can have awesome powers like me?

[silver_pipe]

Is yours the power of no-friends-and-utter-insanity?

I don't think Professor X would let you into his mutant school with that one, Bingo.

[madlydancing]

IT'S KEFKA, YOU STUPID LITTLE BRAT!

[That nickname is definitely getting on his last nerves now.]

Eh? I have plenty of friends.