the sun rises
After work last night Morgan and I came home and painted for three hours at the kitchen table while Ollie played with his toys and slept at our feet. We're working on some pieces for a charity auction her sister is involved with. I also experimented with making flowers from this beautiful sheet of hand-made paper with dried blossoms pressed into it. It was such a lovely and calm and restorative night. Every night is, when you're simply existing with your favorite person.
In the night, right before I woke up, I had this awful dream that I returned to my apartment one day to see an ex and Liz in tense conversation. Liz pulled me aside to tell me he was clearly crazy, and then slipped out. I can't remember the details. I know he took a shower, the implication being that he had been waiting for me a long time. His eyes were rimmed with red. He spoke in that low angry tone of his. I don't know why he was there, no reason really, just to hurt me. He wouldn't let me leave and when I pulled out my phone to call Arizona he threatened to kill me. It ended when my phone vibrated and I woke up and pulled Ollie into bed with me. I'm not sure why he was in my subconscious last night. I rarely think of him any more; in fact I realized this morning that sometime in September made it two years and I hadn't noticed at all. I guess I just had monsters on the mind.
So this morning I snuggled with Ollie, then brought him outside where he stepped gingerly, shivering, on the wet grass that is half as tall as he is. And I fed him his food, and watched him attack the snow leopard with true gusto, and follow me around, tail wagging, as I got ready for work. The sky outside was dim and gray with rain, but for the first time in my life, it doesn't bother me a bit.
In the night, right before I woke up, I had this awful dream that I returned to my apartment one day to see an ex and Liz in tense conversation. Liz pulled me aside to tell me he was clearly crazy, and then slipped out. I can't remember the details. I know he took a shower, the implication being that he had been waiting for me a long time. His eyes were rimmed with red. He spoke in that low angry tone of his. I don't know why he was there, no reason really, just to hurt me. He wouldn't let me leave and when I pulled out my phone to call Arizona he threatened to kill me. It ended when my phone vibrated and I woke up and pulled Ollie into bed with me. I'm not sure why he was in my subconscious last night. I rarely think of him any more; in fact I realized this morning that sometime in September made it two years and I hadn't noticed at all. I guess I just had monsters on the mind.
So this morning I snuggled with Ollie, then brought him outside where he stepped gingerly, shivering, on the wet grass that is half as tall as he is. And I fed him his food, and watched him attack the snow leopard with true gusto, and follow me around, tail wagging, as I got ready for work. The sky outside was dim and gray with rain, but for the first time in my life, it doesn't bother me a bit.