Bionic Mess
So I'm giving a shot to some of the new season shows, assuming that I won't keep most of them on the roster. I made it through about ten minutes of "Reaper" before its irritating Kevin Smith disaffected-youth thing drove me nuts enough to abandon it.
When does "Pushing Daisies" start?
Tonight I watched "Bionic Woman." Yikes, did THAT ever suck.
Great. THIS is what the Hollywood TV machine thinks is buzzworthy, exciting fall fare. Overproduced, overstylized, hastily put-together and written-by-committee crap.
First of all, they need to FIRE their casting director. If you're doing a show about the Bionic Woman you'd better get the right actress for the central role, because it's all about her. But here, for some reason, they settle on some poor man's Neve Campbell type who looks like an extra who got lost on her way to the Gilmore Girls set and can't act her way out of a paper bag. Seriously. Her line readings were like community-theater-"Our Town"-production bad. And then for her love interest they hire some completely forgettable rumpled guy with a very unsettling blank-eyed stare way of looking at people.
Meanwhile they make it worse by hiring Katee Sackhoff and Thomas Kretschman to play against these people and with their awesomeness just make it more glaring how bad everyone else is. Katee was looking super hot, I must say. They ought to have had HER playing the Bionic Woman. Then they populate with more established character actors like Miguel Ferrer and Molly Price from "First Watch" (looking uncannily like Mariska Hargitay with a choppy blond razor-cut) and superhot Will Yun Lee and I just want the show to be about THEM instead of the insipid leads.
Second, they're making the oh-so-common mistake of including tons of shadowy black-ops secret-research types but they've made them SO shadowy and ill-defined that we have no idea who they are, who's affiliated with whom, who has what agenda and who we're supposed to be rooting for in this scenario. Everyone speaks in vaguely menacing generalities and keeps referring to events and histories that we have no knowledge of, which is supposed to pique our interest (I guess) but when it's done to this extent only frustrates us.
Third, they writers have no idea what tone they're going for. Parts of it are standard drama tone, parts are feeble attempts at jokey-clever superhero-movie Wolverneisms and parts are pseudo-Matrix nonsensicalisms (hey, I just invented that word...keen!). So they end up with bland lines that veer off into Dadaist supposed-to-be-clever lines like "Tails you lose, heads you die" that just make you cock your head to the side and go "bzuh?"
None of it made much sense, there was no plot to speak of except "Hey, check out our keen supergirl!" and the acting, writing, direction, art direction, photography and effects were all jaw-droppingly bad.
Meanwhile, Veronica Mars and Deadwood are both canceled.
I'm gonna go watch Dexter episodes on Showtime On Demand. Call it a palate cleanser for my brain.
But in the good news category, we finally have a date for Runway! November 14th, baby! Bring on the ruching and the bias-cut seams! I didn't take the bitch's dye! And what DID happen to Andrae?
Team Dale FTW! Although I'd be happy with Casey too. Anyone but Hung, in no small part because Marcel predicted Hung would win and I'd hate for him to have another reason to be smug. Although Hung was actually semi-endearing tonight with his impassioned speech at judging...why have we not seen this side of you before, HUNG? And to be fair, he's not nearly as irritating as Marcel was.
Eric Ripert. Call me, baby.
But no matter who wins, this show has yet to produce a winner or contestant overall as awesome as Harold Dieterle. No other cheftestant has been as cool or as talented in the kitchen or with as clear a food vision than Harold.
I taped "Dirty Sexy Money" but haven't watched it yet. "Kitchen Nightmares" was entertaining tonight, but you know of my deep and abiding love for Gordon Ramsay.
When does "Pushing Daisies" start?
Tonight I watched "Bionic Woman." Yikes, did THAT ever suck.
Great. THIS is what the Hollywood TV machine thinks is buzzworthy, exciting fall fare. Overproduced, overstylized, hastily put-together and written-by-committee crap.
First of all, they need to FIRE their casting director. If you're doing a show about the Bionic Woman you'd better get the right actress for the central role, because it's all about her. But here, for some reason, they settle on some poor man's Neve Campbell type who looks like an extra who got lost on her way to the Gilmore Girls set and can't act her way out of a paper bag. Seriously. Her line readings were like community-theater-"Our Town"-production bad. And then for her love interest they hire some completely forgettable rumpled guy with a very unsettling blank-eyed stare way of looking at people.
Meanwhile they make it worse by hiring Katee Sackhoff and Thomas Kretschman to play against these people and with their awesomeness just make it more glaring how bad everyone else is. Katee was looking super hot, I must say. They ought to have had HER playing the Bionic Woman. Then they populate with more established character actors like Miguel Ferrer and Molly Price from "First Watch" (looking uncannily like Mariska Hargitay with a choppy blond razor-cut) and superhot Will Yun Lee and I just want the show to be about THEM instead of the insipid leads.
Second, they're making the oh-so-common mistake of including tons of shadowy black-ops secret-research types but they've made them SO shadowy and ill-defined that we have no idea who they are, who's affiliated with whom, who has what agenda and who we're supposed to be rooting for in this scenario. Everyone speaks in vaguely menacing generalities and keeps referring to events and histories that we have no knowledge of, which is supposed to pique our interest (I guess) but when it's done to this extent only frustrates us.
Third, they writers have no idea what tone they're going for. Parts of it are standard drama tone, parts are feeble attempts at jokey-clever superhero-movie Wolverneisms and parts are pseudo-Matrix nonsensicalisms (hey, I just invented that word...keen!). So they end up with bland lines that veer off into Dadaist supposed-to-be-clever lines like "Tails you lose, heads you die" that just make you cock your head to the side and go "bzuh?"
None of it made much sense, there was no plot to speak of except "Hey, check out our keen supergirl!" and the acting, writing, direction, art direction, photography and effects were all jaw-droppingly bad.
Meanwhile, Veronica Mars and Deadwood are both canceled.
I'm gonna go watch Dexter episodes on Showtime On Demand. Call it a palate cleanser for my brain.
But in the good news category, we finally have a date for Runway! November 14th, baby! Bring on the ruching and the bias-cut seams! I didn't take the bitch's dye! And what DID happen to Andrae?
Team Dale FTW! Although I'd be happy with Casey too. Anyone but Hung, in no small part because Marcel predicted Hung would win and I'd hate for him to have another reason to be smug. Although Hung was actually semi-endearing tonight with his impassioned speech at judging...why have we not seen this side of you before, HUNG? And to be fair, he's not nearly as irritating as Marcel was.
Eric Ripert. Call me, baby.
But no matter who wins, this show has yet to produce a winner or contestant overall as awesome as Harold Dieterle. No other cheftestant has been as cool or as talented in the kitchen or with as clear a food vision than Harold.
I taped "Dirty Sexy Money" but haven't watched it yet. "Kitchen Nightmares" was entertaining tonight, but you know of my deep and abiding love for Gordon Ramsay.