Ode to a sentient android
Damn, but it's fun watching all these old TNG episodes again. I wonder if anyone has ever gone through and tallied up how many times the Enterprise crew would have been DEAD had they not been fortunate enough to have an android on board. How many times did Data save the ship, anyway? Innumerable. This thought was prompted by "Night Terrors," the one where the ship was trapped adrift and nobody could dream so they all started going insane...except Data, of course.
But then, of course, they also had the other side of the coin. There were a lot of situations where Data SHOULD have been able to save the day but because they needed him not to in order to have a plot, he did nothing. Remember "The High Ground" where Crusher was abducted by terrorists? The guy materialized next to her, shot some guy, grabbed her by the arm, and spirited her away. This took a good five seconds. Meanwhile Data and Worf are just standing there twenty feet away like big dummies. Hello, android reflexes and accuracy? He should have been able to phaser the guy before he could even get a shot off. But he didn't, because if he had it would have been a damned short episode. Later in the SAME EPISODE he just sat there at his station while several terrorists kidnapped Picard off the bridge! Come on, Data, get a move on.
Even so, Data is so my android boyfriend. What's that you say? He died in the last movie? I DON'T HEAR YOU TALKING LA LA LA LA I HEAR NOTHING I AM NOT LISTENING DENIAL IS FUN LA LA LA LA.
Sometimes I think the TNG writers labored under the delusion that we were all madly in love with Worf. Everyone on the show was so enamored with Worf. Worf, Worf, Worf. No! Less Worf, more Data! Data could totally kick Worf's ass! Not that he would, of course. He's too polite. Then again, Worf did bring a whole bunch of interesting subplots about Klingon politics and such, which I always thought was pretty interesting. But as a character he bored me silly. Blah blah blah honor and duty blah blah blah growly and surly blah blah blah I'm so studly and Klingon blah blah blah.
I always thought the biggest mistake the Trek writers made was waiting until the movies to give Data that damned emotion chip. If he'd gotten it in, say, season five or so, they would have had time to EXPLORE it and it could have been interesting instead of the brief comic relief it ended up being. And then it was barely mentioned again in the subsequent three films. He barely seemed like he HAD emotions in "Insurrection." But the less said about that and "Nemesis," the better.
Sigh. Data should have been promoted. He never got promoted. But they couldn't, could they? Next stop was full commander and he'd have to become somebody's first officer which means he'd have to leave the ship and that just can't be tolerated. Still. He deserved it! Geordi got promoted TWICE, as did Worf! No fair. You know, I wouldn't have shed a tear if Riker had taken one of the half-dozen commands he was offered so Data could be the Enterprise's first officer. Bye bye, Will. You weren't half as charming as you thought you were.
You got a raw deal, Data. Not promoted despite saving the ship eight billion times, your girlfriend got killed by a tar slick, the only other action you ever got was with the damned Borg Queen, and then you were ignominiously killed off in a lame movie while Brannon Braga tried to used the Trek Reset Button Ending by introducing an even lamer earlier version of you so we could all start all over again.
Raw deal.
But then, of course, they also had the other side of the coin. There were a lot of situations where Data SHOULD have been able to save the day but because they needed him not to in order to have a plot, he did nothing. Remember "The High Ground" where Crusher was abducted by terrorists? The guy materialized next to her, shot some guy, grabbed her by the arm, and spirited her away. This took a good five seconds. Meanwhile Data and Worf are just standing there twenty feet away like big dummies. Hello, android reflexes and accuracy? He should have been able to phaser the guy before he could even get a shot off. But he didn't, because if he had it would have been a damned short episode. Later in the SAME EPISODE he just sat there at his station while several terrorists kidnapped Picard off the bridge! Come on, Data, get a move on.
Even so, Data is so my android boyfriend. What's that you say? He died in the last movie? I DON'T HEAR YOU TALKING LA LA LA LA I HEAR NOTHING I AM NOT LISTENING DENIAL IS FUN LA LA LA LA.
Sometimes I think the TNG writers labored under the delusion that we were all madly in love with Worf. Everyone on the show was so enamored with Worf. Worf, Worf, Worf. No! Less Worf, more Data! Data could totally kick Worf's ass! Not that he would, of course. He's too polite. Then again, Worf did bring a whole bunch of interesting subplots about Klingon politics and such, which I always thought was pretty interesting. But as a character he bored me silly. Blah blah blah honor and duty blah blah blah growly and surly blah blah blah I'm so studly and Klingon blah blah blah.
I always thought the biggest mistake the Trek writers made was waiting until the movies to give Data that damned emotion chip. If he'd gotten it in, say, season five or so, they would have had time to EXPLORE it and it could have been interesting instead of the brief comic relief it ended up being. And then it was barely mentioned again in the subsequent three films. He barely seemed like he HAD emotions in "Insurrection." But the less said about that and "Nemesis," the better.
Sigh. Data should have been promoted. He never got promoted. But they couldn't, could they? Next stop was full commander and he'd have to become somebody's first officer which means he'd have to leave the ship and that just can't be tolerated. Still. He deserved it! Geordi got promoted TWICE, as did Worf! No fair. You know, I wouldn't have shed a tear if Riker had taken one of the half-dozen commands he was offered so Data could be the Enterprise's first officer. Bye bye, Will. You weren't half as charming as you thought you were.
You got a raw deal, Data. Not promoted despite saving the ship eight billion times, your girlfriend got killed by a tar slick, the only other action you ever got was with the damned Borg Queen, and then you were ignominiously killed off in a lame movie while Brannon Braga tried to used the Trek Reset Button Ending by introducing an even lamer earlier version of you so we could all start all over again.
Raw deal.