(no subject)
I've had a week where my more (passive) aggressively asshole-ish past has caught up with me, encounters with old friends and acquaintances who I haven't seen whether through choice or happenstance. Scratch that. These rifts happened because of a decision, passive or not. Either I made a conscious decision not to pursue certain avenues or plain chicken-shitted my way past. I'm not particularly proud of how some of these things worked out. I'm just glad I have the ability to recognize when I've been a dick.
The making amends part, there's the rub. There are times when it comes across as disingenuous. I swear it's a gene from my Dad's side of the family. Sometimes my effort ends up with both sides feeling even more like shit, and then it's best to muck your cards and walk away from the table. So yeah, build me a time machine so I can punch old me in the face, or by him a drink to steel my heart for the future.
The making amends part, there's the rub. There are times when it comes across as disingenuous. I swear it's a gene from my Dad's side of the family. Sometimes my effort ends up with both sides feeling even more like shit, and then it's best to muck your cards and walk away from the table. So yeah, build me a time machine so I can punch old me in the face, or by him a drink to steel my heart for the future.