im gay
the first and only time i fall for a gayass was probly the most important gayass that i shouldnt have ever fallen for. i jus dunno what to do with myself and its put me in a mood where i jus wanna lay in bed and sleep and sleep and sleep and never have to think about what happened what ive done and what will never be the same. i dont know who ive turned into that ive been so disgustingly desperate and stupid these past however months...i feel like im outside of myself watching some sad little girl when i realize that its me and i dont understand how i got to be like that when i couldve jus stayed outta it from the beginning. and i want to get out of it but then that little girl part is just trying to hold on b/c she doesnt wanna leave what she gave that kid with him. she thinks if she just holds on that somehow that she hasnt lost it...shes sharing it or something bizarre like that...i dunno but i need to get a grip on myself and stop being so damn stupid