Family Planning
There has been and still is some intense family planning going on in my life. After several years of not having access to my kids, or more precisely not making access to my kids, I have been set upon by the desire to be a father. Trying to get my kids back from their mother may seem like the most logical option but there are concerns that their situation may be well out of my, although I need to say "our", skill set to handle without devolving back into the ogre I was years ago. I'm sure I should investigate the possibility although I will admit to being terrified of the fight to get them as well as the fight to undo all the damage that their mother and I have done to them. To expose my wife to that level of conflict just to satisfy my desire to be a father is wildly inappropriate.
I contacted the adoption agency that my first kids came from and found that they have been trying to reach me to talk about placing a sibling to my first kids with me. shock. I explained what was going on with the kids which raised some concern in the person that I was talking to. Why wasn’t I awarded custody of the kids? Why, when things crashed with their mother, did I not try to get the kids back? Why would they think that putting another kid in my home (ok, they didn't ask that last question in those words but still…)
To have a child, any child, in our house would require a move. We need a place that has a room we can secure for our reptiles and still be big enough to support the kind of family we, or at least I, envision. To move requires money which keeps getting allocated to sick dogs and car repairs.
I’m not worried, not as much as maybe I could be, but I am wondering what the future may hold for me, for my family in all of its complexity. There is a lot of things to thing about and consider and I want to be sure I’m doing the right thing for a righteous reason and not just to pander to my self serving ego.
I contacted the adoption agency that my first kids came from and found that they have been trying to reach me to talk about placing a sibling to my first kids with me. shock. I explained what was going on with the kids which raised some concern in the person that I was talking to. Why wasn’t I awarded custody of the kids? Why, when things crashed with their mother, did I not try to get the kids back? Why would they think that putting another kid in my home (ok, they didn't ask that last question in those words but still…)
To have a child, any child, in our house would require a move. We need a place that has a room we can secure for our reptiles and still be big enough to support the kind of family we, or at least I, envision. To move requires money which keeps getting allocated to sick dogs and car repairs.
I’m not worried, not as much as maybe I could be, but I am wondering what the future may hold for me, for my family in all of its complexity. There is a lot of things to thing about and consider and I want to be sure I’m doing the right thing for a righteous reason and not just to pander to my self serving ego.