Seven MORE Deadly Sins
We’re familiar with the seven outrageous “no-no’s” prevalent in most any culture:
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride
…and I’m not one to claim superiority over all you self-centered malicious prejudiced lazy covetous overindulgent fornicators. Not one bit. C’mon, we’re all so fucking guilty of these sins that “humanity” is the name of our support group.
HOWEVER
I absolutely will not, cannot tolerate the following, and move to call a motion of death by wood shredder to those guilty of these crimes:
Incompetence
If you suck at performing a task so simple even an untrained monkey could do better, lay no claim to being efficient in this area, for you will surely be proven wrong repeatedly, and make the lives of those who depend on you a living hell.
Emotional Cowardice
Jesuschristalmighty. If you feel something, own it. Express it. Learn to process it. We are human and we have these warm fuzzy things called “feelings”. I know, they’re scary, and we almost never know what to do with them, but incorporating them into interactions is a start. Pretending you’re a robot, a shell with primary functions and absolutely no soul is fucked up, and you need a therapist. No, I’m not one, find someone else to wean you back into humanity.
Contentment with Mediocrity
"Blah blah blah, I hate my life, I’m so misunderstood, no one wants to give me a chance, I deserve better than this, poor me…. Now excuse me while I go watch re-runs or drink myself into oblivion."
‘xcuse me? I’m sorry…. You’re discontent, but unwilling to do anything about it. Wait, you’re not responsible for what’s lacking in your life? You mean it’s someone else’s problem that you’re unhappy?
Ohhhhh… you ARE relatively happy, you just wish things in life came to you as easy as they do to others, and intend to sit on your ass waiting for opportunity to not only knock, but open the door and set up residence as your bitch.
Got it.
Blatant Self-righteousness
You’re so smart/holy/rich/powerful it’s flabbergasting why no one has yet constructed a monument in your honor. I mean, seriously, why should the rest of us have intellect, opinions, resources, and endeavors uniquely ours when anything you do or say is clearly correct and absolute.
Never mind that half the words you speak are plain gibberish…
Delusional Maturity
Before you go around talking about how much you’ve matured, you might wanna get your shit together first, accept some of what life’s dealt like a real “grown-up” would. Ya know, like taking care of your kids would be a start. If that’s too overwhelming, sign your offspring off to someone who gives a damn about anyone other than their little life dramas and go get yourself a plant. Or if you’re feeling adventurous, a goldfish. If it doesn’t die after a month, try two. EARN the privilege of being an adult, you moron. Just because society expects you to be capable of fulfilling certain roles, it doesn’t mean you deserve them.
Disregard of Consequence
Commitments, Responsibilities, Obligations. Not really things you can flake on and still be respected… especially after the 50th time you’ve used the excuse “Ohhhh, man, I got so drunk!”
What’s this, you’re broke? Pretty please you want to make some money? But, you didn’t show up for a job on time? The client seemed pissed so you just didn’t go in at all? Huh… I really wonder why they never called you back for another gig ever again.
Hey dumbass, way to burn bridges with anyone who has ever stuck their neck out in an effort to help you get ahead. Next time, don’t ask for help digging your own grave, I’d rather just sip my lemonade in the shade, thank-you-very-much.
Double Standards
… another way to say “My needs are more important than yours. In fact, you have no needs other than to satisfy mine.”
Such bullshit. You don't want a partner, you want an assistant. Go pay someone to be your lackey, 'cause I'm not it.
Lust
Gluttony
Greed
Sloth
Wrath
Envy
Pride
…and I’m not one to claim superiority over all you self-centered malicious prejudiced lazy covetous overindulgent fornicators. Not one bit. C’mon, we’re all so fucking guilty of these sins that “humanity” is the name of our support group.
HOWEVER
I absolutely will not, cannot tolerate the following, and move to call a motion of death by wood shredder to those guilty of these crimes:
Incompetence
If you suck at performing a task so simple even an untrained monkey could do better, lay no claim to being efficient in this area, for you will surely be proven wrong repeatedly, and make the lives of those who depend on you a living hell.
Emotional Cowardice
Jesuschristalmighty. If you feel something, own it. Express it. Learn to process it. We are human and we have these warm fuzzy things called “feelings”. I know, they’re scary, and we almost never know what to do with them, but incorporating them into interactions is a start. Pretending you’re a robot, a shell with primary functions and absolutely no soul is fucked up, and you need a therapist. No, I’m not one, find someone else to wean you back into humanity.
Contentment with Mediocrity
"Blah blah blah, I hate my life, I’m so misunderstood, no one wants to give me a chance, I deserve better than this, poor me…. Now excuse me while I go watch re-runs or drink myself into oblivion."
‘xcuse me? I’m sorry…. You’re discontent, but unwilling to do anything about it. Wait, you’re not responsible for what’s lacking in your life? You mean it’s someone else’s problem that you’re unhappy?
Ohhhhh… you ARE relatively happy, you just wish things in life came to you as easy as they do to others, and intend to sit on your ass waiting for opportunity to not only knock, but open the door and set up residence as your bitch.
Got it.
Blatant Self-righteousness
You’re so smart/holy/rich/powerful it’s flabbergasting why no one has yet constructed a monument in your honor. I mean, seriously, why should the rest of us have intellect, opinions, resources, and endeavors uniquely ours when anything you do or say is clearly correct and absolute.
Never mind that half the words you speak are plain gibberish…
Delusional Maturity
Before you go around talking about how much you’ve matured, you might wanna get your shit together first, accept some of what life’s dealt like a real “grown-up” would. Ya know, like taking care of your kids would be a start. If that’s too overwhelming, sign your offspring off to someone who gives a damn about anyone other than their little life dramas and go get yourself a plant. Or if you’re feeling adventurous, a goldfish. If it doesn’t die after a month, try two. EARN the privilege of being an adult, you moron. Just because society expects you to be capable of fulfilling certain roles, it doesn’t mean you deserve them.
Disregard of Consequence
Commitments, Responsibilities, Obligations. Not really things you can flake on and still be respected… especially after the 50th time you’ve used the excuse “Ohhhh, man, I got so drunk!”
What’s this, you’re broke? Pretty please you want to make some money? But, you didn’t show up for a job on time? The client seemed pissed so you just didn’t go in at all? Huh… I really wonder why they never called you back for another gig ever again.
Hey dumbass, way to burn bridges with anyone who has ever stuck their neck out in an effort to help you get ahead. Next time, don’t ask for help digging your own grave, I’d rather just sip my lemonade in the shade, thank-you-very-much.
Double Standards
… another way to say “My needs are more important than yours. In fact, you have no needs other than to satisfy mine.”
Such bullshit. You don't want a partner, you want an assistant. Go pay someone to be your lackey, 'cause I'm not it.