El Pistolero Loco y El Pantera Negra - Chapter Ten
BB: Hello, everyone. I'm back with another chapter of this steaming pile of shit! But today, I'm well armed: I have ten different tranquilizers in my system, I have Season One of Supernatural on DVD (with the other five seasons pending, since pay day is in four days, two of which I get to spend at home), chocolate chip cookies, two giant jawbreakers, and a Sue that I must kill~ And if it's required, I have back-up on hold: Alse, Ruin, Kaiba, and probably Jason. ...Freddy is there, too, and should make an appearance SOON.
Let's spork this shit.
Chapter 10:
Comodidad
OH FUCK. NO! NOT THAT WORD! THAT WORD ALWAYS MEANS SAP!!!!! SAAAAAAAAAAAAP! I CAN'T STAND SAP UNLESS IT'S BEING USED TO MAKE MAPLE SYRUP!!!!
Everyone...get ready for "Comfort."
I'm really sorry this has taken so long guys but I'm in the school musical and Sunday was all day rehearsal. So was Monday. Tuesday was half day rehearsal, school and opening night. I'm only just fitting this in! Please forgive me! Loads more updates in the holidays I promise!
Okay, I can understand doing school rehearsals. I've had to go through that myself. However, my dear, Tuesday would not have been a half-day rehearsal. It would've been re-working things before the show, practicing things that neededd to be practiced, etc. I've done updates for things during my plays.
Are you Sue-ing yourself now, VPN? Are you? I think you are!!!
And sorry if I sound vindictive, everyone: I am sick and sporking does not make my mood any lighter.
They had been sat in the car for hours with only a couple of breaks. After the sixth stop Nicoletta was sure they must be near a hotel, they had to stop soon. However, Sands drove on and on in silence till Nicoletta couldn't take it anymore.
"How much further do we have to drive?" she asked tiredly.
Sands ignored her causing Nicoletta to become angry, "Hello. Are you going to answer me?" she asked impatiently.
Sands still didn't answer and Nicoletta snapped, "Fine. Just don't come crying to me when you're tired and you want me to drive because you can forget it!"
Hmm...I'M BITCHY AND I KNOW IT just went up again! Nicozilla, did it ever occur to you that Sands just didn't want to talk? That he doesn't like talking while driving? I'm the exact same way. Unless the radio's on, I don't like noise while I'm driving! It could be that Sands is the exact same way!
Unclipping she slid into the back and laid down. Soon her soft breathing filled the silence.
WHOA, WHOOOOOA. Nicozilla, I know you a ho, but really, again, so soon? For shame. ...oh, wait, she's just sleeping. Carry on, then.
Eventually, after about another half an hour, Sands had had enough. He stopped at the side of the road and got out of the car. Going to the boot he got out a blanket which he had bought with them. He returned to the front of the car and climbed in. Locking the doors he snuggled up into his blanket and closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep though.
Sleeping when you were sitting up was practically impossible, he decided. So he climbed into the back, being careful to avoid Nickie. As he lay down he looked at her, she was shivering slightly and she looked cold. Sands hesitated, after the way she had treated him in the alley he knew he shouldn't care about her. However, she looked so cold he couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
I'm going to say this, first of all, because it needs repeating: WHY ARE THEY EVEN ON THE FUCKING ROAD IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!? THERE'S NO DAMN REASON FOR IT! THEY COULD HAVE GONE RIGHT HOME! IT WOULDN'T HAVE MADE ANY DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!
Now that I've done that, let me say something to the Suethor: Suethor, please, for the love of all that is Castiel Holy Castiel, PICK A DAMN NAME AND STICK WITH IT! You CANNOT continually change names when there is NO DIALOGUE! IT MAKES THE WHOLE FIC LOOK BAD! You called her Nicoletta, so she's Nicoletta. Nicozilla is my nickname for her, yes, and I refer to her as such, WHEN SHE HAS PISSED ME OFF ENOUGH. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. YOU ALSO HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THE OUT OF CHARACTER WAY SANDS IS ACTING! THIS IS NOT HOW HE ACTS!
For those who do not know, I would like to define sociopath for you:
Sociopath: a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
The emphasis is mine, but I think we all get the picture. Now, let me direct you to some quotes from the man who plays Sands, Mr. Johnny Depp himself. Take it away, Johnny!
"When I said I was in, I told [Rodriguez] the kind of direction I would like to go with the character. I said, 'Tell me if this feels alright. I don't want to go somewhere you don't want to go.' I brought up the idea of the eternal tourist. The unhappy tourist. The bitter tourist. Of someone who has a penchant for bad T-shirts and fanny packs."
--Johnny Depp
Interview by Stephen Applebaum
"I saw [Sands] as a guy who's such a badass, he would wear obviously fake disguises just to try to make someone comment on his disguise, so he could kill them."
--Johnny Depp
Interview by Stephen Applebaum
"There was a part [of Sands] that reminded me of someone I had known in Hollywood. He was very, very soft-spoken, and on the outside very, very charming, but at his very core, at the base of his very existence, he was a monster. So that's the kind of direction I went with the guy. I thought every word would be measured, and he would never say a curse word because that would send him to Hell, but he can kill somebody, no problem."
--Johnny Depp
Interview by Stephen Applebaum
It took me perhaps a MINUTE to find all of that from this site, it should've taken VPN the same amount of time. PEOPLE, RESEARCH IS YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!
Now, back to the actual story: It's stupid of Sands to try and crawl over Nicozilla when he could get out of the car and head for the backseat. In fact, it's stupid to even want to GO in the backseat to rest because FRONT SEATS IN CARS CAN RECLINE!!!! It's not a revolutionary invention, it's something that HAPPENS. IT HAPPENS! SANDS COULD JUST RECLINE HIS SEAT! And if Nicozilla's so cold, here's an idea: Sands could give her his blanket. Or he could turn on the car and leave it running with the heater on. It'd mean they might have to walk tomorrow, yeah, but IT'S STILL BETTER THAN FREEZING! COME ON, VPN, ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WRITE!
Carefully, he moved to the edge of the seat and slid up next to her. Pressing her up to the seat so he wouldn't fall off, he wrapped an arm carefully round her, pulling her close to him. Then he reached down with his free hand and tugged the blanket up and over them. Carefully he tucked it round her, then, he slid his arm under the blanket and wrapped it round her like his other one.
Oh, so this is why Sands couldn't just give her the blanket: Pointless Cuddling. And yes, that's capitalized because it's OBVIOUSLY SO IMPORTANT WE HAVE THE POINTLESS CUDDLING! I MEAN, REALLY, IT'S NOT LIKE THESE TWO SHOULDN'T EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER, IT'S NOT LIKE SANDS WOULDN'T EVEN TRY TO DO THIS, IT IS WHAT GOD HATH DECREED, AND SO IT IS DONE!
GOOD LORD, SENDETH DOWN CASTIEL TO SMITE THE BITCH!
I THANK YOU, LORD WHO IS NOT IN HEAVEN BY SUPERNATURAL CANON! NO IDEA HOW YOU HEARD ME, BUT MUCH THANKS!
...if only such things could happen to Sporkers. I'd be more than willing to do my job. -Sighs- Unfortunately, God is not as kind to Sporkers as we would like him to be. But, hey, I have Coke, Supernatural Season Two on DVD, marshmallows, and no shirt on. I'm a happy guy.
She would probably kill him when she woke up but right now he was too tired to care. He gazed at her peaceful face and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, "Night sugar butt, sweet dreams."
Sugar Butt: 24.
I am not in my happy place right now. I am not in my happy place right now. And Sands just "pressed a soft kiss to her lips." That is not in character. Excuse me while I rage in the privacy of my own mind.
*MUCH DESTROYING OF DOWNTOWN TOKYO LATER*
...I am calm now. Let's go on.
When Nicoletta woke up she was surprisingly warm and contented. She didn't understand for several moments, but then her mind dragged itself out of drowsiness and she realized. She was curled up to Sands.
Her arms were wrapped around his waist and her face was pressed into his chest. Instantly she knew she had to move before he woke up, even though it did feel very nice and comforting to be wrapped in his arms. She shook that thought from her mind, no way was she staying like that, she was going to move.
...Guys, I can't. I...I have to do it. I'm so sorry. JASON, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP ME!
{Jason Snips the following into a summary: Nicoletta tries to move out of Sands' arms, Sands wakes up, Nicoletta soooo isn't happy to still be in his arms even though part of her screams "FUCK YEAH!" at it, the Sugar Butt count is up to twennty five, Sands acts like an idiot, but WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!}
BB: WHOA! HOLD UP. HOLD UP! EVERYONE! EVERYONE, YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS BIT, YOU HAVE TO! LOOK:
Inwardly he kicked himself. He needed her as a bargaining chip. If the cartel wanted her (especially Carlos Bartulo, for reasons known only to himself, and Sands,) and he supplied them with her. Then they would stop their illegal smuggling of drugs into the U.S. Well, they probably wouldn't, but with her as a distraction he could get his under-agents into the Bartulo Estate and kill Carlos Bartulo. Then the CIA could take care of disposing of the rest of the cartel. But he couldn't do anything if she hated him. He was going to have to try and be nicer to her. Then he just had to get her to sleep with him. She'd trust him and she'd do anything he wanted. Simple!
...I...I...I am rendered speechless, folks. I am rendered speechless because THAT IS AN ACTUAL IN-CHARACTER THOUGHT FOR SANDS! THAT IS HIM DECIDING TO BE A PSYCHOTIC, MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE, WHICH HE IS IN CANON! It...it's...IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! It's stupidly done, focuses entirely around the Sue, but it's CANON, and it's BEAUTIFUL! -Wipes at tears with a handkerchief-
...okay, I'm done now. Let's spork the rest, then the author review answer thing.
Sighing, he stretched, tugged the blanket off him and got out of the car. He got in at the front and, with a groan, began to drive again.
Half an hour later they were driving, once again, in silence. This time, however, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence and everything seemed a lot better.
...HOW WAS IT NOT UNCOMFORTABLE?! They just HAD a damn uncomfortable moment right there! SUETHOR, THIS IS TAKING AWAY FROM THE BEAUTY OF YOUR ONE BIT OF CANON-SANDS!
Sadly, that was when everything went wrong.
No, everything went wrong at the very start of this fic. Dear Godstiel, get it right!
Okay, everyone, it's time for the Author Answers Reviewers segment of this chapter. Now, I know you're all expecting me to spork these, probably make a few jokes, and have a grand time doing it. It's what I've been doing since these things popped up. But here's something you probably weren't expecting: I'm not doing these. Reasons? Yeah, I have 'em: the following answers insulted me so horribly, I couldn't bring myself to respond to them in any way. So, for now, I'm turning them over to a good friend of mine who we all know and love, the British and Stuffy Ruin_Takada! Take it away, Ruin!
Ruin: Thank you, and don’t be mad if this is terrible. I’m tired and it’s late, so don’t expect a whole lot of stuffy here.
zigzag: Thank you honey! Glad you really liked my last chapter. I love kinky stuff! A bed is nice but boring. Poor Nickie, she'll work it out eventually but there's something that's holding her back. No it's not the traditional been raped thing it's much different to that. I think the being raped bits are good but I wanted to try something different. Please keep reading and reviewing! Hope this chapter came fast enough! I know it took a while!
Ruin: I’m sorry, but did I just read that? Being raped is traditional? Traditional? Is it me, or is this a sure sign that most Suethors are messed up, considering that Suefics are all she’s read and rape is a horribly typical plot to them? What she’s implied is that rape is put into these fics just to mix things up a bit, just for the hell of it, and sorry, but if that’s the only reason you have for adding that kind of twisted plot… sorry VPN, but you can’t get away with that unless everyone expects your fics to be this shit or the setting is prison, where rape is woefully high in probability. Oh, and just to clarify where I stand on this issue, these ‘being raped’ bits aren’t good unless they are written in a responsible, quality way.
SpadesJade: Don't be confused. I haven't explained it yet but there's something a bit weird about Nicoletta. (Apart from the fact that she hasn't fallen desperately in love with Sands yet!) I will explain it eventually; there will be no clues except that no it's not a vampire fic. I just happen to like that pen name. I'm pretty glad it's the first you've heard of it because it's meant to be kind of weird and different. Yeah it is pretty unfair its just Sands, but Nickie is kind of unsure about letting him doing anything to her. There won't be any kinkiness for a while though so we'll just have to see what happens. Please keep reading and reviewing, I really liked reading your review.
Ruin: Every now and again, I get theories as to what this is. You know why? Because VPN has slapped me in the face often enough throughout this fic that it’s hard for me not to. It is really that bad. Apart from her being an insufferable bitch, and considering that I’ve not read past chapter 9 by this point, my theory is… Nicozilla is a shapeshifter, like The Hulk, or Dr Jekyll becoming Mr Hyde. I’m only joking about her becoming a ‘monster’, per se, but here’s the kicker: She metamorphoses into a panther (or rather, a black leopard). Think of it what you will. If I guessed right, and I spoiled it for you, then it must not be a bad thing because you didn’t come here for a good story, you know?
Meanwhile, the kinkiness should just stop. It’s not kinky, or in any way worth the anticipation.
CaptainRaven: All my reviewers give me something to think about but you definitely make me laugh the most! "This fic ROCKS!" Awwwww, I feel so loved, thank you honey! Yeah I feel sorry for Sands, but, he did use Nicoletta. Mmmm being "used" by Sands, so great! Lol. Sorry no kinkiness this chapter, only Sands affection. He's so sweet but I'm not sure he's in character. Having a dirty mind is definitely something to be proud of! Dirty minds unite! R&R!
Ruin: You don’t have a dirty mind. You have an ignorant, sick one, and this is me talking! Why would being used be a good thing? What happened to her being a ‘badass gangster girl’ or whatever? Seriously? Does she, or VPN for that matter, have no self-respect let alone mine?
The lady of the Shadows: Glad you like my last chapter! sniff I'm sorry you're sad it's over. I haven't updated for a while I know, and this chapters pretty short but I promise the next will be better! This sounds wrong but I like writing sex scenes, it's so fun. I will restrain myself for a while. Glad you enjoyed it! Please keep R&Ring! Luv ya Lady!
Ruin: Not much I can say here, sorry…
magdalen13: A big thank you for such a long review! I really like constructive criticism! I know I need to get on with the plot and I promise you'll get to understand it more soon. I just wanted to get the tension between them there before I do. The reason for the cartel wanting Nicoletta will take quite a while to get there, but I hope I explained why Sands needs Nicoletta well enough in this chapter. I didn't like the idea of Nicoletta instantaneously falling in love with him. That's why she has mixed feelings and I'm glad you liked my last chapter! Thanks for the encouragement and for saying it's "fantastic" that's is really nice of you! Please keep reading and reviewing I really liked reading your review! Hoped you like this chapter! R&R!
Ruin: As hard as you can see she’s trying to not make Nicozilla a Sue, she’s not doing a great job at all. This is just stupid, and why these people think it’s great is beyond me. Honestly, why she hasn’t included any of the reviewers that tell her why they hate Nicozilla just so that she can savagely defend her Sue to the death and prove to them once and for all how ‘awesome’ she is, I don’t know. This… may be why she never got back to me on my review giving constructive criticism on her Sue and OC writing.
Wow this is actually hurting me to do this, so I’m going to, you know, stop now before I die or decide to pack myself off to Scotland early. By the way, my Scotland vacation is why I’m gonna be late on my other sporks, so don’t expect much else for at least a week. Thanks for letting me come here and lend a hand, BB, it’s always a pleasure to help out wherever I can!
BB: Thank you so much, Ruin. You helped out in the tightest of spots I've ever been in: dealing with someone who thought rape was funny. Everyone, give Ruin a hand! It's well deserved, as is your vacation. -Pat pat-
I'll see everyone next time, when the chapter is (hopefully) shorter. Later!
Next Chapter
Previous Chapter
Let's spork this shit.
Chapter 10:
Comodidad
OH FUCK. NO! NOT THAT WORD! THAT WORD ALWAYS MEANS SAP!!!!! SAAAAAAAAAAAAP! I CAN'T STAND SAP UNLESS IT'S BEING USED TO MAKE MAPLE SYRUP!!!!
Everyone...get ready for "Comfort."
I'm really sorry this has taken so long guys but I'm in the school musical and Sunday was all day rehearsal. So was Monday. Tuesday was half day rehearsal, school and opening night. I'm only just fitting this in! Please forgive me! Loads more updates in the holidays I promise!
Okay, I can understand doing school rehearsals. I've had to go through that myself. However, my dear, Tuesday would not have been a half-day rehearsal. It would've been re-working things before the show, practicing things that neededd to be practiced, etc. I've done updates for things during my plays.
Are you Sue-ing yourself now, VPN? Are you? I think you are!!!
And sorry if I sound vindictive, everyone: I am sick and sporking does not make my mood any lighter.
They had been sat in the car for hours with only a couple of breaks. After the sixth stop Nicoletta was sure they must be near a hotel, they had to stop soon. However, Sands drove on and on in silence till Nicoletta couldn't take it anymore.
"How much further do we have to drive?" she asked tiredly.
Sands ignored her causing Nicoletta to become angry, "Hello. Are you going to answer me?" she asked impatiently.
Sands still didn't answer and Nicoletta snapped, "Fine. Just don't come crying to me when you're tired and you want me to drive because you can forget it!"
Hmm...I'M BITCHY AND I KNOW IT just went up again! Nicozilla, did it ever occur to you that Sands just didn't want to talk? That he doesn't like talking while driving? I'm the exact same way. Unless the radio's on, I don't like noise while I'm driving! It could be that Sands is the exact same way!
Unclipping she slid into the back and laid down. Soon her soft breathing filled the silence.
WHOA, WHOOOOOA. Nicozilla, I know you a ho, but really, again, so soon? For shame. ...oh, wait, she's just sleeping. Carry on, then.
Eventually, after about another half an hour, Sands had had enough. He stopped at the side of the road and got out of the car. Going to the boot he got out a blanket which he had bought with them. He returned to the front of the car and climbed in. Locking the doors he snuggled up into his blanket and closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep though.
Sleeping when you were sitting up was practically impossible, he decided. So he climbed into the back, being careful to avoid Nickie. As he lay down he looked at her, she was shivering slightly and she looked cold. Sands hesitated, after the way she had treated him in the alley he knew he shouldn't care about her. However, she looked so cold he couldn't help but feel sorry for her.
I'm going to say this, first of all, because it needs repeating: WHY ARE THEY EVEN ON THE FUCKING ROAD IN THE FIRST PLACE?!?!? THERE'S NO DAMN REASON FOR IT! THEY COULD HAVE GONE RIGHT HOME! IT WOULDN'T HAVE MADE ANY DIFFERENCE!!!!!!!
Now that I've done that, let me say something to the Suethor: Suethor, please, for the love of all that is Castiel Holy Castiel, PICK A DAMN NAME AND STICK WITH IT! You CANNOT continually change names when there is NO DIALOGUE! IT MAKES THE WHOLE FIC LOOK BAD! You called her Nicoletta, so she's Nicoletta. Nicozilla is my nickname for her, yes, and I refer to her as such, WHEN SHE HAS PISSED ME OFF ENOUGH. YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE. YOU ALSO HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR THE OUT OF CHARACTER WAY SANDS IS ACTING! THIS IS NOT HOW HE ACTS!
For those who do not know, I would like to define sociopath for you:
Sociopath: a person with a psychopathic personality whose behavior is antisocial, often criminal, and who lacks a sense of moral responsibility or social conscience.
The emphasis is mine, but I think we all get the picture. Now, let me direct you to some quotes from the man who plays Sands, Mr. Johnny Depp himself. Take it away, Johnny!
"When I said I was in, I told [Rodriguez] the kind of direction I would like to go with the character. I said, 'Tell me if this feels alright. I don't want to go somewhere you don't want to go.' I brought up the idea of the eternal tourist. The unhappy tourist. The bitter tourist. Of someone who has a penchant for bad T-shirts and fanny packs."
--Johnny Depp
Interview by Stephen Applebaum
"I saw [Sands] as a guy who's such a badass, he would wear obviously fake disguises just to try to make someone comment on his disguise, so he could kill them."
--Johnny Depp
Interview by Stephen Applebaum
"There was a part [of Sands] that reminded me of someone I had known in Hollywood. He was very, very soft-spoken, and on the outside very, very charming, but at his very core, at the base of his very existence, he was a monster. So that's the kind of direction I went with the guy. I thought every word would be measured, and he would never say a curse word because that would send him to Hell, but he can kill somebody, no problem."
--Johnny Depp
Interview by Stephen Applebaum
It took me perhaps a MINUTE to find all of that from this site, it should've taken VPN the same amount of time. PEOPLE, RESEARCH IS YOUR FRIEND!!!!!!
Now, back to the actual story: It's stupid of Sands to try and crawl over Nicozilla when he could get out of the car and head for the backseat. In fact, it's stupid to even want to GO in the backseat to rest because FRONT SEATS IN CARS CAN RECLINE!!!! It's not a revolutionary invention, it's something that HAPPENS. IT HAPPENS! SANDS COULD JUST RECLINE HIS SEAT! And if Nicozilla's so cold, here's an idea: Sands could give her his blanket. Or he could turn on the car and leave it running with the heater on. It'd mean they might have to walk tomorrow, yeah, but IT'S STILL BETTER THAN FREEZING! COME ON, VPN, ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU WRITE!
Carefully, he moved to the edge of the seat and slid up next to her. Pressing her up to the seat so he wouldn't fall off, he wrapped an arm carefully round her, pulling her close to him. Then he reached down with his free hand and tugged the blanket up and over them. Carefully he tucked it round her, then, he slid his arm under the blanket and wrapped it round her like his other one.
Oh, so this is why Sands couldn't just give her the blanket: Pointless Cuddling. And yes, that's capitalized because it's OBVIOUSLY SO IMPORTANT WE HAVE THE POINTLESS CUDDLING! I MEAN, REALLY, IT'S NOT LIKE THESE TWO SHOULDN'T EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER, IT'S NOT LIKE SANDS WOULDN'T EVEN TRY TO DO THIS, IT IS WHAT GOD HATH DECREED, AND SO IT IS DONE!
GOOD LORD, SENDETH DOWN CASTIEL TO SMITE THE BITCH!
I THANK YOU, LORD WHO IS NOT IN HEAVEN BY SUPERNATURAL CANON! NO IDEA HOW YOU HEARD ME, BUT MUCH THANKS!
...if only such things could happen to Sporkers. I'd be more than willing to do my job. -Sighs- Unfortunately, God is not as kind to Sporkers as we would like him to be. But, hey, I have Coke, Supernatural Season Two on DVD, marshmallows, and no shirt on. I'm a happy guy.
She would probably kill him when she woke up but right now he was too tired to care. He gazed at her peaceful face and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, "Night sugar butt, sweet dreams."
Sugar Butt: 24.
I am not in my happy place right now. I am not in my happy place right now. And Sands just "pressed a soft kiss to her lips." That is not in character. Excuse me while I rage in the privacy of my own mind.
*MUCH DESTROYING OF DOWNTOWN TOKYO LATER*
...I am calm now. Let's go on.
When Nicoletta woke up she was surprisingly warm and contented. She didn't understand for several moments, but then her mind dragged itself out of drowsiness and she realized. She was curled up to Sands.
Her arms were wrapped around his waist and her face was pressed into his chest. Instantly she knew she had to move before he woke up, even though it did feel very nice and comforting to be wrapped in his arms. She shook that thought from her mind, no way was she staying like that, she was going to move.
...Guys, I can't. I...I have to do it. I'm so sorry. JASON, HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP ME!
{Jason Snips the following into a summary: Nicoletta tries to move out of Sands' arms, Sands wakes up, Nicoletta soooo isn't happy to still be in his arms even though part of her screams "FUCK YEAH!" at it, the Sugar Butt count is up to twennty five, Sands acts like an idiot, but WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!}
BB: WHOA! HOLD UP. HOLD UP! EVERYONE! EVERYONE, YOU HAVE TO SEE THIS BIT, YOU HAVE TO! LOOK:
Inwardly he kicked himself. He needed her as a bargaining chip. If the cartel wanted her (especially Carlos Bartulo, for reasons known only to himself, and Sands,) and he supplied them with her. Then they would stop their illegal smuggling of drugs into the U.S. Well, they probably wouldn't, but with her as a distraction he could get his under-agents into the Bartulo Estate and kill Carlos Bartulo. Then the CIA could take care of disposing of the rest of the cartel. But he couldn't do anything if she hated him. He was going to have to try and be nicer to her. Then he just had to get her to sleep with him. She'd trust him and she'd do anything he wanted. Simple!
...I...I...I am rendered speechless, folks. I am rendered speechless because THAT IS AN ACTUAL IN-CHARACTER THOUGHT FOR SANDS! THAT IS HIM DECIDING TO BE A PSYCHOTIC, MANIPULATIVE ASSHOLE, WHICH HE IS IN CANON! It...it's...IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL! It's stupidly done, focuses entirely around the Sue, but it's CANON, and it's BEAUTIFUL! -Wipes at tears with a handkerchief-
...okay, I'm done now. Let's spork the rest, then the author review answer thing.
Sighing, he stretched, tugged the blanket off him and got out of the car. He got in at the front and, with a groan, began to drive again.
Half an hour later they were driving, once again, in silence. This time, however, it wasn't an uncomfortable silence and everything seemed a lot better.
...HOW WAS IT NOT UNCOMFORTABLE?! They just HAD a damn uncomfortable moment right there! SUETHOR, THIS IS TAKING AWAY FROM THE BEAUTY OF YOUR ONE BIT OF CANON-SANDS!
Sadly, that was when everything went wrong.
No, everything went wrong at the very start of this fic. Dear Godstiel, get it right!
Okay, everyone, it's time for the Author Answers Reviewers segment of this chapter. Now, I know you're all expecting me to spork these, probably make a few jokes, and have a grand time doing it. It's what I've been doing since these things popped up. But here's something you probably weren't expecting: I'm not doing these. Reasons? Yeah, I have 'em: the following answers insulted me so horribly, I couldn't bring myself to respond to them in any way. So, for now, I'm turning them over to a good friend of mine who we all know and love, the British and Stuffy Ruin_Takada! Take it away, Ruin!
Ruin: Thank you, and don’t be mad if this is terrible. I’m tired and it’s late, so don’t expect a whole lot of stuffy here.
zigzag: Thank you honey! Glad you really liked my last chapter. I love kinky stuff! A bed is nice but boring. Poor Nickie, she'll work it out eventually but there's something that's holding her back. No it's not the traditional been raped thing it's much different to that. I think the being raped bits are good but I wanted to try something different. Please keep reading and reviewing! Hope this chapter came fast enough! I know it took a while!
Ruin: I’m sorry, but did I just read that? Being raped is traditional? Traditional? Is it me, or is this a sure sign that most Suethors are messed up, considering that Suefics are all she’s read and rape is a horribly typical plot to them? What she’s implied is that rape is put into these fics just to mix things up a bit, just for the hell of it, and sorry, but if that’s the only reason you have for adding that kind of twisted plot… sorry VPN, but you can’t get away with that unless everyone expects your fics to be this shit or the setting is prison, where rape is woefully high in probability. Oh, and just to clarify where I stand on this issue, these ‘being raped’ bits aren’t good unless they are written in a responsible, quality way.
SpadesJade: Don't be confused. I haven't explained it yet but there's something a bit weird about Nicoletta. (Apart from the fact that she hasn't fallen desperately in love with Sands yet!) I will explain it eventually; there will be no clues except that no it's not a vampire fic. I just happen to like that pen name. I'm pretty glad it's the first you've heard of it because it's meant to be kind of weird and different. Yeah it is pretty unfair its just Sands, but Nickie is kind of unsure about letting him doing anything to her. There won't be any kinkiness for a while though so we'll just have to see what happens. Please keep reading and reviewing, I really liked reading your review.
Ruin: Every now and again, I get theories as to what this is. You know why? Because VPN has slapped me in the face often enough throughout this fic that it’s hard for me not to. It is really that bad. Apart from her being an insufferable bitch, and considering that I’ve not read past chapter 9 by this point, my theory is… Nicozilla is a shapeshifter, like The Hulk, or Dr Jekyll becoming Mr Hyde. I’m only joking about her becoming a ‘monster’, per se, but here’s the kicker: She metamorphoses into a panther (or rather, a black leopard). Think of it what you will. If I guessed right, and I spoiled it for you, then it must not be a bad thing because you didn’t come here for a good story, you know?
Meanwhile, the kinkiness should just stop. It’s not kinky, or in any way worth the anticipation.
CaptainRaven: All my reviewers give me something to think about but you definitely make me laugh the most! "This fic ROCKS!" Awwwww, I feel so loved, thank you honey! Yeah I feel sorry for Sands, but, he did use Nicoletta. Mmmm being "used" by Sands, so great! Lol. Sorry no kinkiness this chapter, only Sands affection. He's so sweet but I'm not sure he's in character. Having a dirty mind is definitely something to be proud of! Dirty minds unite! R&R!
Ruin: You don’t have a dirty mind. You have an ignorant, sick one, and this is me talking! Why would being used be a good thing? What happened to her being a ‘badass gangster girl’ or whatever? Seriously? Does she, or VPN for that matter, have no self-respect let alone mine?
The lady of the Shadows: Glad you like my last chapter! sniff I'm sorry you're sad it's over. I haven't updated for a while I know, and this chapters pretty short but I promise the next will be better! This sounds wrong but I like writing sex scenes, it's so fun. I will restrain myself for a while. Glad you enjoyed it! Please keep R&Ring! Luv ya Lady!
Ruin: Not much I can say here, sorry…
magdalen13: A big thank you for such a long review! I really like constructive criticism! I know I need to get on with the plot and I promise you'll get to understand it more soon. I just wanted to get the tension between them there before I do. The reason for the cartel wanting Nicoletta will take quite a while to get there, but I hope I explained why Sands needs Nicoletta well enough in this chapter. I didn't like the idea of Nicoletta instantaneously falling in love with him. That's why she has mixed feelings and I'm glad you liked my last chapter! Thanks for the encouragement and for saying it's "fantastic" that's is really nice of you! Please keep reading and reviewing I really liked reading your review! Hoped you like this chapter! R&R!
Ruin: As hard as you can see she’s trying to not make Nicozilla a Sue, she’s not doing a great job at all. This is just stupid, and why these people think it’s great is beyond me. Honestly, why she hasn’t included any of the reviewers that tell her why they hate Nicozilla just so that she can savagely defend her Sue to the death and prove to them once and for all how ‘awesome’ she is, I don’t know. This… may be why she never got back to me on my review giving constructive criticism on her Sue and OC writing.
Wow this is actually hurting me to do this, so I’m going to, you know, stop now before I die or decide to pack myself off to Scotland early. By the way, my Scotland vacation is why I’m gonna be late on my other sporks, so don’t expect much else for at least a week. Thanks for letting me come here and lend a hand, BB, it’s always a pleasure to help out wherever I can!
BB: Thank you so much, Ruin. You helped out in the tightest of spots I've ever been in: dealing with someone who thought rape was funny. Everyone, give Ruin a hand! It's well deserved, as is your vacation. -Pat pat-
I'll see everyone next time, when the chapter is (hopefully) shorter. Later!
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