El Pistolero Loco y El Pantera Negra - Chapter Nine (Part I)
WARNING: SOME NSFW-ISH PICS IN HERE! I NEEDED SEXINESS TO GET ME THROUGH IT ALL! IT'S GOOD SEXINESS, THOUGH, I PROMISE!
NOTE: ONE VIDEO IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK! DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK WHERE I SAY WHAT I WANT TO HAPPEN TO NICOZILLA! DO NOT DO IT! IT INVOLVES SILENT HILL AND BARBED WIRE! DO NOT CLICK THERE UNLESS YOU CAN HANDLE IT!
BB: Back again, for another chapter that warns "Sexual Content." I'm getting really sick of that because we just had two with "sexual content." Suethor, you need to get your hand out of your pants already. Have a chapter with actual plot, some character development, and some ACTION. THEN I will possibly be impressed with you. I highly doubt this will really happen, and so my level of being impressed is at Zero. And, since it's been at zero for this entire fic, I decided to bring in some help. Namely, the wonderful assistance of the wonderfully stuffy Britishness of my dear friend, Ruin Takada. Good to have you here.
Ruin: No problem. After all, I do have to return the favour.
BB: Mhm. We also have guest sporker Jason Voorhees, who is very glad to be back. And now, with Ruin's British and Jason's Machete, we are ready to spork. This will have to be split up into parts because Ruin and I got off-topic many times during this. I can't say I'm not unhappy about that, because it'd be a lie.
Chapter 9:
Sensacion
BB: Already, there's a problem.
Ruin: A big one?
BB: "Sensation."
That, coupled with this being a "sexual content" chapter, does not bode well.
Ruin: Not at all. Isn't this author, like 14?
BB: Yes.
Ruin: In Britain, the age of consent is 16, so you know she won't be able to give us much from 'experience'.
If you don't mind me saying
BB: In the US, it's usually sixteen, though some states go as low as fifteen.
Ruin: ...Huh... Aren't some states as high as 18?
BB: Yep.
Ruin: Huh.
BB: We're weird that way. But for now, we're talking UK, since VPN is British.
Ruin: Indeed, hence why I mentioned the Consent ruling. I was just wondering on the US side, because most American fanfic writers think L sleeping with an 18 year old Light counts as being with a minor, when we should know that L is predominantly British and likes having his own way anyways in terms of Death Note, but that's... irrelevant?
BB: Semi-irrelevant, though this argument has been brought up to me before.
Ruin: Fair enough, and we'll be moving on?
BB: I'd like to point out, in this little aside before we start sporking, that eighteen years is legally adulthood in the US, and so someone sleeping with an eighteen year old is perfectly legal.
And I'll note that Light is not American, but Japanese, everyone, and in Japan, age of consent is thirteen.
So he's perfectly legal.
......All right, now we may move on.
Ruin: Yush. Please.
BB: -Nods-
Sexual content in this part. Sorry, I have a very dirty mind!
Ruin: No you don't
BB: Not in the least.
Ruin: I am dirty-minded in two very vibrant ways. You are just childish
BB: Agreed.
Nicoletta had never thought she could be as fed up this. However, standing next to a fruit and vegetable stall pretending to examine the mushrooms, she was proving herself wrong.
It had been half an hour since they had arrived at the market and twenty minutes since she had got what they needed. Now she was wandering round, pretending to be interested in what was for sale. Every so often shooting surreptitious glances at Sands, who was stood with his "business associate" by one of the stalls.
BB: Ruin, what is wrong with those two little paragraphs?
Ruin: Well, the grammar is terrible, but this is par for course for her.
BB: Very true.
Though there's something glaringly obvious wrong here, and I would love to point it out.
Ruin: I imagine that Sands makes a living out of what he does, and so would be rich enough to have their groceries home delivered.
BB: Mmh, he's a sociopathic CIA agent. So he does make a good chunk of change. But he usually goes out anyway, as is his choice to do so.
Ruin: But Sands would never agree for them to go together to the market - he doesn't care what she does, he doesn't need to be with her at every moment
BB: What's bothering me very much is simply this: Why is Sands meeting a CIA contact out in the open with no mention of him wearing any kind of disguise?
Ruin: and it doesn't take two people to shop, not for this, anyways. You ARE right, there. If you're in the CIA, you must go out protected, indentity-wise, that is.
BB: Yes. And, to answer you, Sands told Nicozilla she'd do the shopping. He needed to meet someone, which is the only reason he went. But there is no mention of him wearing a disguise just yet. Am I to believe that Sands, who is KNOWN for disguises - cheap and silly and corny though they are - decided to forgo one today?
Ruin: I really, really doubt it. If it's his habit to wear a disguise, I REALLY doubt he'd have a one-off and play 'hide-in-plain-sight' for once.
BB: It is. I have picture proof.
Ruin: Wonderful. Do we need to show it here?
BB: That's Sands in one of his disguises as a tourist. The disguise is simple: plaid shirt and a hat.
Ruin: Gorgeous. So... Jack twist is a tourist?
BB: But it makes him look like any normal person. You wouldn't think he's a guy who could shoot you.
Ruin: True. And then again, Jack Twist did visit Mexico a few times for Gigolos.
BB: -Nods- I'd be happy if there was even a mention of him wearing something like this! But there is no DISGUISE here! SANDS, THE SUETHOR MADE YOU AN IDIOT!
Ruin: GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!
BB: Or at least reclaim your character! Scare Nicozilla off with your insistent perverse comments, your groping, and, if that doesn't work, your guns!
Ruin: Reconnect with your Inner Badass!
BB: Ruin, I think we got off topic.
Ruin: I think we did.
Oh tea cake and scones, what to do?
BB: Get back on topic with the next infuriation.
Ruin: Yush, I like the sound of that.
BB: It's a doozy, too.
Glaring at the mushrooms as though they were the root of all evil, she wondered if Sands would notice if she slipped off for a while. He probably would, the stupid, son of a bitch! He was the most annoying person Nicoletta had ever met and she had met plenty. Most of them had ended up in a lot of pain. She had a feeling Sands would be no exception. With a sigh she moved on to the next stall, not bothering to check on Sands, he wouldn't be finished yet.
Ten minutes later Nicoletta was still stood there, bored out of her mind. She was beginning to wonder if someone could die of the complaint. It was becoming more and more plausible. However, that was when things got slightly more interesting than she had hoped for.
BB: Ruin, may I take the first paragraph on? I have rage there.
Ruin: Go ahead. I'm making coffee
BB: Thank you.
Ruin: I'm back, with coffee. And I'm all limber now.
BB: Nicozilla. Vampire Princess Nissa. Babes. Listen. Sands is a FUCKING CIA AGENT! HE NOTICES EVERYTHING AROUND HIM THAT PERTAINS TO HIM! HE NOTICED WHEN ONE OF THE BITCHES IN A DAMN BROTHEL ALMOST FOUND HIS FUCKING GUN WHEN SHE TRIED TO GIVE HIM A HANDJOB, HE'D NOTICE IF NICOLETTA WALKED AWAY! Also, his mother does not need to be discussed here. Leave her out of it.
Now, on note of Sands being annoying: He is. He can be the most annoying, infuriating person on the planet. You know why? THAT'S HIS CHARACTER! IT'S WHO HE IS!
Ruin: He wouldn't be him without rubbing you the wrong way
BB: Yes. You want to know who else he is?
Ruin: oh?
BB: HE'S A FUCKING PSYCHO! HE KILLS WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT!
Ruin: This girl should read 'The Psychopath Test' by Jon Ronson. It's all spelt out there.
BB: The ONLY time he REALLY shows any kind of emotion is when he's telling a kid who became his guide when he had his eyes drilled out to RUN from DANGER!
Ruin: What a psycho is.
BB: AND THAT'S THE ONLY FUCKING TIME!
Ruin: BECAUSE THE KID WAS HELPING HIM!!! It's all self, self, self with this man!
BB: Yes! He DOESN'T CARE about anyone else. He cares about SANDS. And that's IT. That little instance I mentioned?
Ruin: Yush?
BB: That's the only time in the whole movie he shows any interest for anyone else. And it lasts maybe two seconds. In a two hour plus film.
Ruin: Yeah, that's self-interest alright.
BB: Also, I don't care how long Nicoletta wandered around the grocery stalls. That sentence could be taken out and you wouldn't know the difference.
Ruin: If I do this again, I'll have a psycho checklist handy. And no one cares for Nicozilla. And true.
BB: -Nods- And please do.
The psycho checklist can help us. We'll keep one for Sands and one for Nicozilla. Because it's very obvious that this Sue, like all others who latch onto the main character, is a sociopath. And two sociopaths together do NOT make a right. Now, onto the next bit.
All of a sudden someone screamed, then, several shots rang out and Nicoletta turned to see ten men in black suits running down the street. She didn't have long to look however, the next moment there was a hand grabbing her arm and dragging her down the road.
Ruin: As MOOKS they rated badly. And even now they do.
BB: -Nods- Also, you know that this is just here for TEH DRAMAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because there is no fucking way that no one would notice ten men in black suits wandering around.
Ruin: Of course, why else would it be here? Not like the locals would notice or anything
BB: No reason, because Suethors don't know how to write good action. And did those men teleport? Because one second they're running down the street...and the next, someone's got her and is dragging her down the road...
Ruin: I'm not a brilliant action writer, so I don't do it if it's possible. And yet Suethors do it anyways...
BB: I'm all right at action.
Ruin: I think it's just for the element of surprise. Well done VPN, I'm not surprised at all
BB: At. All. The next part won't surprise us, either.
Nicoletta spared a second to realize that it was Sands dragging her, before instinct kicked in and she began to sprint. She dropped the shopping on the floor and heard shots from behind them; this was why she should have gone with Sands. Honestly, he was such an idiot!
Alse: *Cameo Appearance* Where's the bag?
Ruin: What. the. Hell. What a bitch
BB: Yes. But we knew that in the first chapter.
Ruin: She didn't go with him, so she blames HIM...
BB: He told her that she couldn't, and with good reason. Because he was meeting a contact who has no idea who Nicozilla is.
She would've been shot on sight.
Ruin: Thank goodness for them.
BB: ...it would've done the world a great favour.
Ruin: A huge one.
BB: ...Your British is contagious.
Ruin: I know.
BB: Just thought I'd mention that.
Ruin: We're limey, and as contagious as Lyme disease. Think about that for a sec.
BB: But the fact that Sands was meeting a contact makes Nicozilla's bitchiness more obvious. ...hehehe.
Ruin: Much more.
BB: -Nods- Because he's an idiot for trying to keep her safe from getting shot on sight by a CIA agent who would think Shoot first, ask questions never?
Why don't people THINK about the things they write?
Ruin: That would have been sensible, to go with the Shoot option. I'm not a bastard, just practical.
They don't, because it's TOO HARD!!!
BB: AGH.
Ruin: They should see what I go through to write a fic! All the time! They should see my fanfic plans!
BB: They should see mine, too.
Ruin: They'd make them pale and drop dead out of exhaustion. How do you do it? Tons of bullet points? Grids?
BB: I don't even THINK about posting without having myself look over the chapter five times to make sure that everything makes sense, sending it through about five different beta readers, and then re-reading it myself to make sure that everything matches up again.
Ruin: I can beta myself, but I don't update until I've read it through and edited it, then read THAT through and tinkered. Then I don't update until I'm a few chapters ahead. And I constantly look back at previous chapters as I write as well. To made sure all's wrapped up and I'm using certain terms consistently
BB: -Nods- Yes, because you enjoy consistency with what came before.
Ruin: I do. So very, very much
BB: Unlike VPN here, who can't even remember something that happened one chapter ago.
Ruin: I don't think she cares, to be perfectly honest.
BB: Nope. She just wants to get to the sex.
Ruin: It has Sands in it, what matters after that?
BB: The Sex.
Ruin: Apart from The Sex -eye roll- Speaking of...How's Jason?
Jason: *Looks up from sharpening the machete* . . . *Raises it*
BB: Nooooooooooo, Jason, not yet. ......Please don't let it be the sexual content part yet.
Pleeeeease.......I'M BEGGING YOU, KIRA-SAMA!
NOT YET!
Ruin: I spoke with Light before, and he's denying all allegations concerning Kira. We won't be that lucky, I'm afraid.
BB: Nooooooooooo. -Turns into a sobbing mess on the floor- I ALREADY SPORKED THIS KIND OF SHIT FROM HER TWICE! I CAN'T DO IT AGAIN!
Ruin: Keep Calm and Carry On, that's what I always say
Stiff Upper Lip?
BB: ...You're right. You're right. .....BUT IT'S A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, JASON, GIVE ME YOUR MACHETE, I NEED TO SLICE THIS BITCH OPEN, I'M GONNA KILL HER I'LL---
B: -Slaps BB in the back of the head- Refrain.
Ruin: Dayam, where did YOU come from?
B: I heard the auditory amplification of BB's displeasure.
BB: ....I didn't yell that loud....
Ruin: Huh. I guess you just ignored mine with the Jam Incident
B: Perhaps. Now can you continue without screaming?
BB: .....maybe.
Ruin: We should, before we startle Jason-lad
BB: Yes. Okay. -Takes a deep breath- I can do this now.
Ruin: You can.
BB: Besides, we have Jason. He can snip if required.
Ruin: He can.
BB: Okay. Let's do it.
Ruin: Gambatte!
I believe in you!
BB: First, though, we have to separate. We went too long. Be back for part two!
Next
Previous
NOTE: ONE VIDEO IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK! DO NOT CLICK ON THE LINK WHERE I SAY WHAT I WANT TO HAPPEN TO NICOZILLA! DO NOT DO IT! IT INVOLVES SILENT HILL AND BARBED WIRE! DO NOT CLICK THERE UNLESS YOU CAN HANDLE IT!
BB: Back again, for another chapter that warns "Sexual Content." I'm getting really sick of that because we just had two with "sexual content." Suethor, you need to get your hand out of your pants already. Have a chapter with actual plot, some character development, and some ACTION. THEN I will possibly be impressed with you. I highly doubt this will really happen, and so my level of being impressed is at Zero. And, since it's been at zero for this entire fic, I decided to bring in some help. Namely, the wonderful assistance of the wonderfully stuffy Britishness of my dear friend, Ruin Takada. Good to have you here.
Ruin: No problem. After all, I do have to return the favour.
BB: Mhm. We also have guest sporker Jason Voorhees, who is very glad to be back. And now, with Ruin's British and Jason's Machete, we are ready to spork. This will have to be split up into parts because Ruin and I got off-topic many times during this. I can't say I'm not unhappy about that, because it'd be a lie.
Chapter 9:
Sensacion
BB: Already, there's a problem.
Ruin: A big one?
BB: "Sensation."
That, coupled with this being a "sexual content" chapter, does not bode well.
Ruin: Not at all. Isn't this author, like 14?
BB: Yes.
Ruin: In Britain, the age of consent is 16, so you know she won't be able to give us much from 'experience'.
If you don't mind me saying
BB: In the US, it's usually sixteen, though some states go as low as fifteen.
Ruin: ...Huh... Aren't some states as high as 18?
BB: Yep.
Ruin: Huh.
BB: We're weird that way. But for now, we're talking UK, since VPN is British.
Ruin: Indeed, hence why I mentioned the Consent ruling. I was just wondering on the US side, because most American fanfic writers think L sleeping with an 18 year old Light counts as being with a minor, when we should know that L is predominantly British and likes having his own way anyways in terms of Death Note, but that's... irrelevant?
BB: Semi-irrelevant, though this argument has been brought up to me before.
Ruin: Fair enough, and we'll be moving on?
BB: I'd like to point out, in this little aside before we start sporking, that eighteen years is legally adulthood in the US, and so someone sleeping with an eighteen year old is perfectly legal.
And I'll note that Light is not American, but Japanese, everyone, and in Japan, age of consent is thirteen.
So he's perfectly legal.
......All right, now we may move on.
Ruin: Yush. Please.
BB: -Nods-
Sexual content in this part. Sorry, I have a very dirty mind!
Ruin: No you don't
BB: Not in the least.
Ruin: I am dirty-minded in two very vibrant ways. You are just childish
BB: Agreed.
Nicoletta had never thought she could be as fed up this. However, standing next to a fruit and vegetable stall pretending to examine the mushrooms, she was proving herself wrong.
It had been half an hour since they had arrived at the market and twenty minutes since she had got what they needed. Now she was wandering round, pretending to be interested in what was for sale. Every so often shooting surreptitious glances at Sands, who was stood with his "business associate" by one of the stalls.
BB: Ruin, what is wrong with those two little paragraphs?
Ruin: Well, the grammar is terrible, but this is par for course for her.
BB: Very true.
Though there's something glaringly obvious wrong here, and I would love to point it out.
Ruin: I imagine that Sands makes a living out of what he does, and so would be rich enough to have their groceries home delivered.
BB: Mmh, he's a sociopathic CIA agent. So he does make a good chunk of change. But he usually goes out anyway, as is his choice to do so.
Ruin: But Sands would never agree for them to go together to the market - he doesn't care what she does, he doesn't need to be with her at every moment
BB: What's bothering me very much is simply this: Why is Sands meeting a CIA contact out in the open with no mention of him wearing any kind of disguise?
Ruin: and it doesn't take two people to shop, not for this, anyways. You ARE right, there. If you're in the CIA, you must go out protected, indentity-wise, that is.
BB: Yes. And, to answer you, Sands told Nicozilla she'd do the shopping. He needed to meet someone, which is the only reason he went. But there is no mention of him wearing a disguise just yet. Am I to believe that Sands, who is KNOWN for disguises - cheap and silly and corny though they are - decided to forgo one today?
Ruin: I really, really doubt it. If it's his habit to wear a disguise, I REALLY doubt he'd have a one-off and play 'hide-in-plain-sight' for once.
BB: It is. I have picture proof.
Ruin: Wonderful. Do we need to show it here?
BB: That's Sands in one of his disguises as a tourist. The disguise is simple: plaid shirt and a hat.
Ruin: Gorgeous. So... Jack twist is a tourist?
BB: But it makes him look like any normal person. You wouldn't think he's a guy who could shoot you.
Ruin: True. And then again, Jack Twist did visit Mexico a few times for Gigolos.
BB: -Nods- I'd be happy if there was even a mention of him wearing something like this! But there is no DISGUISE here! SANDS, THE SUETHOR MADE YOU AN IDIOT!
Ruin: GET OUT WHILE YOU STILL CAN!!!!
BB: Or at least reclaim your character! Scare Nicozilla off with your insistent perverse comments, your groping, and, if that doesn't work, your guns!
Ruin: Reconnect with your Inner Badass!
BB: Ruin, I think we got off topic.
Ruin: I think we did.
Oh tea cake and scones, what to do?
BB: Get back on topic with the next infuriation.
Ruin: Yush, I like the sound of that.
BB: It's a doozy, too.
Glaring at the mushrooms as though they were the root of all evil, she wondered if Sands would notice if she slipped off for a while. He probably would, the stupid, son of a bitch! He was the most annoying person Nicoletta had ever met and she had met plenty. Most of them had ended up in a lot of pain. She had a feeling Sands would be no exception. With a sigh she moved on to the next stall, not bothering to check on Sands, he wouldn't be finished yet.
Ten minutes later Nicoletta was still stood there, bored out of her mind. She was beginning to wonder if someone could die of the complaint. It was becoming more and more plausible. However, that was when things got slightly more interesting than she had hoped for.
BB: Ruin, may I take the first paragraph on? I have rage there.
Ruin: Go ahead. I'm making coffee
BB: Thank you.
Ruin: I'm back, with coffee. And I'm all limber now.
BB: Nicozilla. Vampire Princess Nissa. Babes. Listen. Sands is a FUCKING CIA AGENT! HE NOTICES EVERYTHING AROUND HIM THAT PERTAINS TO HIM! HE NOTICED WHEN ONE OF THE BITCHES IN A DAMN BROTHEL ALMOST FOUND HIS FUCKING GUN WHEN SHE TRIED TO GIVE HIM A HANDJOB, HE'D NOTICE IF NICOLETTA WALKED AWAY! Also, his mother does not need to be discussed here. Leave her out of it.
Now, on note of Sands being annoying: He is. He can be the most annoying, infuriating person on the planet. You know why? THAT'S HIS CHARACTER! IT'S WHO HE IS!
Ruin: He wouldn't be him without rubbing you the wrong way
BB: Yes. You want to know who else he is?
Ruin: oh?
BB: HE'S A FUCKING PSYCHO! HE KILLS WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT!
Ruin: This girl should read 'The Psychopath Test' by Jon Ronson. It's all spelt out there.
BB: The ONLY time he REALLY shows any kind of emotion is when he's telling a kid who became his guide when he had his eyes drilled out to RUN from DANGER!
Ruin: What a psycho is.
BB: AND THAT'S THE ONLY FUCKING TIME!
Ruin: BECAUSE THE KID WAS HELPING HIM!!! It's all self, self, self with this man!
BB: Yes! He DOESN'T CARE about anyone else. He cares about SANDS. And that's IT. That little instance I mentioned?
Ruin: Yush?
BB: That's the only time in the whole movie he shows any interest for anyone else. And it lasts maybe two seconds. In a two hour plus film.
Ruin: Yeah, that's self-interest alright.
BB: Also, I don't care how long Nicoletta wandered around the grocery stalls. That sentence could be taken out and you wouldn't know the difference.
Ruin: If I do this again, I'll have a psycho checklist handy. And no one cares for Nicozilla. And true.
BB: -Nods- And please do.
The psycho checklist can help us. We'll keep one for Sands and one for Nicozilla. Because it's very obvious that this Sue, like all others who latch onto the main character, is a sociopath. And two sociopaths together do NOT make a right. Now, onto the next bit.
All of a sudden someone screamed, then, several shots rang out and Nicoletta turned to see ten men in black suits running down the street. She didn't have long to look however, the next moment there was a hand grabbing her arm and dragging her down the road.
Ruin: As MOOKS they rated badly. And even now they do.
BB: -Nods- Also, you know that this is just here for TEH DRAMAZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because there is no fucking way that no one would notice ten men in black suits wandering around.
Ruin: Of course, why else would it be here? Not like the locals would notice or anything
BB: No reason, because Suethors don't know how to write good action. And did those men teleport? Because one second they're running down the street...and the next, someone's got her and is dragging her down the road...
Ruin: I'm not a brilliant action writer, so I don't do it if it's possible. And yet Suethors do it anyways...
BB: I'm all right at action.
Ruin: I think it's just for the element of surprise. Well done VPN, I'm not surprised at all
BB: At. All. The next part won't surprise us, either.
Nicoletta spared a second to realize that it was Sands dragging her, before instinct kicked in and she began to sprint. She dropped the shopping on the floor and heard shots from behind them; this was why she should have gone with Sands. Honestly, he was such an idiot!
Alse: *Cameo Appearance* Where's the bag?
Ruin: What. the. Hell. What a bitch
BB: Yes. But we knew that in the first chapter.
Ruin: She didn't go with him, so she blames HIM...
BB: He told her that she couldn't, and with good reason. Because he was meeting a contact who has no idea who Nicozilla is.
She would've been shot on sight.
Ruin: Thank goodness for them.
BB: ...it would've done the world a great favour.
Ruin: A huge one.
BB: ...Your British is contagious.
Ruin: I know.
BB: Just thought I'd mention that.
Ruin: We're limey, and as contagious as Lyme disease. Think about that for a sec.
BB: But the fact that Sands was meeting a contact makes Nicozilla's bitchiness more obvious. ...hehehe.
Ruin: Much more.
BB: -Nods- Because he's an idiot for trying to keep her safe from getting shot on sight by a CIA agent who would think Shoot first, ask questions never?
Why don't people THINK about the things they write?
Ruin: That would have been sensible, to go with the Shoot option. I'm not a bastard, just practical.
They don't, because it's TOO HARD!!!
BB: AGH.
Ruin: They should see what I go through to write a fic! All the time! They should see my fanfic plans!
BB: They should see mine, too.
Ruin: They'd make them pale and drop dead out of exhaustion. How do you do it? Tons of bullet points? Grids?
BB: I don't even THINK about posting without having myself look over the chapter five times to make sure that everything makes sense, sending it through about five different beta readers, and then re-reading it myself to make sure that everything matches up again.
Ruin: I can beta myself, but I don't update until I've read it through and edited it, then read THAT through and tinkered. Then I don't update until I'm a few chapters ahead. And I constantly look back at previous chapters as I write as well. To made sure all's wrapped up and I'm using certain terms consistently
BB: -Nods- Yes, because you enjoy consistency with what came before.
Ruin: I do. So very, very much
BB: Unlike VPN here, who can't even remember something that happened one chapter ago.
Ruin: I don't think she cares, to be perfectly honest.
BB: Nope. She just wants to get to the sex.
Ruin: It has Sands in it, what matters after that?
BB: The Sex.
Ruin: Apart from The Sex -eye roll- Speaking of...How's Jason?
Jason: *Looks up from sharpening the machete* . . . *Raises it*
BB: Nooooooooooo, Jason, not yet. ......Please don't let it be the sexual content part yet.
Pleeeeease.......I'M BEGGING YOU, KIRA-SAMA!
NOT YET!
Ruin: I spoke with Light before, and he's denying all allegations concerning Kira. We won't be that lucky, I'm afraid.
BB: Nooooooooooo. -Turns into a sobbing mess on the floor- I ALREADY SPORKED THIS KIND OF SHIT FROM HER TWICE! I CAN'T DO IT AGAIN!
Ruin: Keep Calm and Carry On, that's what I always say
Stiff Upper Lip?
BB: ...You're right. You're right. .....BUT IT'S A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT, JASON, GIVE ME YOUR MACHETE, I NEED TO SLICE THIS BITCH OPEN, I'M GONNA KILL HER I'LL---
B: -Slaps BB in the back of the head- Refrain.
Ruin: Dayam, where did YOU come from?
B: I heard the auditory amplification of BB's displeasure.
BB: ....I didn't yell that loud....
Ruin: Huh. I guess you just ignored mine with the Jam Incident
B: Perhaps. Now can you continue without screaming?
BB: .....maybe.
Ruin: We should, before we startle Jason-lad
BB: Yes. Okay. -Takes a deep breath- I can do this now.
Ruin: You can.
BB: Besides, we have Jason. He can snip if required.
Ruin: He can.
BB: Okay. Let's do it.
Ruin: Gambatte!
I believe in you!
BB: First, though, we have to separate. We went too long. Be back for part two!
Next
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