A Video to make ya smile
Dearest Readers,
I have had some thinking going on. My health is kinda messed up and now my doctor whants me to loose weight in order to help the issues I have. I am sitting on the fence of how to handle this issue. Is it a sense of social control or is it truly going to help my condition? I have left myself contemplating this idea. I know that with loosing the weight my issues will begin to get better but for some reason I fear social control. I know that with this metabolic issue that weight contributes to it but because my metabolism is slower than the average bear's -to bring back Yogi the Bear- it is rather hard to loose weight. I have some issues with the medical world as it is because past experiences have taught me that they are there to make a buck and push pills and to make you feel like you about two inches high because you two ounces over their weight limit for "morbidly obese". Which leads me to a rant about the phrase Morbidly Obese... I am of the belief that Fat is not a morbid thing... Morbid would imply that fat is constantly thinking about death or is into mortuary sciences... which my fat is none of that...my fat (stereotypically speaking so my apologies in advanced) is not Gothic and goes around in black morning the death of fellow fat cells, it does not have the death march playing in the back ground as it hangs on to my muscles nor does it go around all depressed because its here... in fact if you ever watch me run it wiggles and jiggles and tickles inside as I move. My obesity is not Morbid... for My obesity is rather the opposite. It is rather up beat... granted it gets down in the dumps because its part of me which is only human... but it doesn't wish to die it wishes to live and be happy... with fellow fat members. My obese body does not tell my brain "brain I am thinking I want to die, its so not worth being a particle of fat anymore I think I shall die and wear black morning my fellow suicidal fat cells lives as well as my own" In fact my obese body wants to live wants to live in joy and happiness.
What the Dr proposes is not unreasonable and makes rather good sense about loosing weight. Do it to be healthy and to beat this issue that was dealt me. Is this a healthy thing for me...I am rather skeptical about this issues I am contemplating it and looking at it from a fat activist view point yet as a patient with some serious health issues. To loose 2 lbs every three weeks, better choices in eating, 10 minutes of exercise to start out with, portion control (which I admit I do eat ALOT). I am fearful it will wind up in the direction I dont want it to be in... Im trying to weight it out here and it seems oh so difficult to muddle through. Dear Readers I am burdened with this thought process.
I am also burdened with my life as it is... it seems to me that all things postive are not in a hot train wreck of a mess. My emotions are all over the place and all things scram abort before fail boat arvies in harbor. I am having some reoccurring feelings from things past that I am getting frustrated with because these are things I have left behind for a reason yet they seem to be coming back. Why do they come back when I have clearly walked a way? I have my medical stand point on my mind, I feel like all is about to sink in the fail boat and I want to jump ship because I rather quit with some sense of dignity than to go down and be labeled failure for life. I am second guessing every move and it seems like it gets worse and worse with each passing day. I have no faith in the world of romance well some but there is little to grab hold to.
Oh the summer has set in here in podunk rural America and I am melting faster than ice cream on hot asphalt during the fourth of July parade. Lads and Lasses if you are Pudgerific like I you know what it feels like when the air is so close it suffocates you, the humidity makes the heat feel like its ten degrees higher than what the thermometer reads and the night time is nothing short of hot hell in the dark. I have issues with feeling like I bring undesirable fragrances in the room because of my reactions to the extreme heats. Ya'll's it sucks vag balls to know that I am constantly using scented lotions (handmade goats milk lotion btw) natural and eco friendly deoterants like it were movie candy while on some kinda trip. ( IDK what its like to be on a trip but all things learned from research). It matters not the amount of water I pour into my body it all gets squized out by the heat and 10 minutes of walking takes it right out... so bandannas, hats of any short that can absorb the sweat is greatly appericated. Shorts and light material is worn with much admoration and not even giving a rats ass if it matches because I am going to be comfy in this God forsaken heat wave that continues to go on for days on end in the months of June through September in Rural America. IDK about anyone else in the world but Summer is not just fun but also tretuous for those who are burden with self conciousness about B.O because of the heat. I sit in the back of the room by myself, so that I wont offend anyone with my heated natural fragrances, I tote around pleasurable fragrances and deaodrant so that I might not smell as bad. I shower 2 and three times daily in the summer as to avoid being offensive. Its extreme but its reality sometimes. If anyone you out there in cyber world have some good tips on how to cope better with this idea please comment me please
well for now thats about it... I have more thoughts but that will be for later in the weeks to come... I have much more to think about and to relay to you my dear faithful readers. I hope and pray to the Vagaline Goddess that I have at least made you smile about something in this article. I hope and pray that you find something to uplift your sprits and at very least you have made a connection and related to somone even if for the sheer fact that you are not the only one who has those feelings. I know I feel like a crazy person just thinking that I smell in the dead of summer because of the heat when in fact we all do or that history repeats its self when it comes to medicine. You are not alone dear readers in the struggles of living a life of a Fat person. Yes your fat but that is merely simple discriptor not who you are. yes someitimes it becomes me and gets me down. Then again i realize its only fat... it giggles and wiggles and when I dance it tickles people pink... so there ya have it peeps my thoguhts for the moment... I shall leave you with a link of a youtube video that a friend shared with me hthat brought a smile to my face and glee to my heart... so heres to the Hope that my words have some how touched you or caused you to be touched and loved in some way. untill next time when I have more riviting stories from rural america to add to the never ending soga of
Diaries of a Mad Fat Woman
I have had some thinking going on. My health is kinda messed up and now my doctor whants me to loose weight in order to help the issues I have. I am sitting on the fence of how to handle this issue. Is it a sense of social control or is it truly going to help my condition? I have left myself contemplating this idea. I know that with loosing the weight my issues will begin to get better but for some reason I fear social control. I know that with this metabolic issue that weight contributes to it but because my metabolism is slower than the average bear's -to bring back Yogi the Bear- it is rather hard to loose weight. I have some issues with the medical world as it is because past experiences have taught me that they are there to make a buck and push pills and to make you feel like you about two inches high because you two ounces over their weight limit for "morbidly obese". Which leads me to a rant about the phrase Morbidly Obese... I am of the belief that Fat is not a morbid thing... Morbid would imply that fat is constantly thinking about death or is into mortuary sciences... which my fat is none of that...my fat (stereotypically speaking so my apologies in advanced) is not Gothic and goes around in black morning the death of fellow fat cells, it does not have the death march playing in the back ground as it hangs on to my muscles nor does it go around all depressed because its here... in fact if you ever watch me run it wiggles and jiggles and tickles inside as I move. My obesity is not Morbid... for My obesity is rather the opposite. It is rather up beat... granted it gets down in the dumps because its part of me which is only human... but it doesn't wish to die it wishes to live and be happy... with fellow fat members. My obese body does not tell my brain "brain I am thinking I want to die, its so not worth being a particle of fat anymore I think I shall die and wear black morning my fellow suicidal fat cells lives as well as my own" In fact my obese body wants to live wants to live in joy and happiness.
What the Dr proposes is not unreasonable and makes rather good sense about loosing weight. Do it to be healthy and to beat this issue that was dealt me. Is this a healthy thing for me...I am rather skeptical about this issues I am contemplating it and looking at it from a fat activist view point yet as a patient with some serious health issues. To loose 2 lbs every three weeks, better choices in eating, 10 minutes of exercise to start out with, portion control (which I admit I do eat ALOT). I am fearful it will wind up in the direction I dont want it to be in... Im trying to weight it out here and it seems oh so difficult to muddle through. Dear Readers I am burdened with this thought process.
I am also burdened with my life as it is... it seems to me that all things postive are not in a hot train wreck of a mess. My emotions are all over the place and all things scram abort before fail boat arvies in harbor. I am having some reoccurring feelings from things past that I am getting frustrated with because these are things I have left behind for a reason yet they seem to be coming back. Why do they come back when I have clearly walked a way? I have my medical stand point on my mind, I feel like all is about to sink in the fail boat and I want to jump ship because I rather quit with some sense of dignity than to go down and be labeled failure for life. I am second guessing every move and it seems like it gets worse and worse with each passing day. I have no faith in the world of romance well some but there is little to grab hold to.
Oh the summer has set in here in podunk rural America and I am melting faster than ice cream on hot asphalt during the fourth of July parade. Lads and Lasses if you are Pudgerific like I you know what it feels like when the air is so close it suffocates you, the humidity makes the heat feel like its ten degrees higher than what the thermometer reads and the night time is nothing short of hot hell in the dark. I have issues with feeling like I bring undesirable fragrances in the room because of my reactions to the extreme heats. Ya'll's it sucks vag balls to know that I am constantly using scented lotions (handmade goats milk lotion btw) natural and eco friendly deoterants like it were movie candy while on some kinda trip. ( IDK what its like to be on a trip but all things learned from research). It matters not the amount of water I pour into my body it all gets squized out by the heat and 10 minutes of walking takes it right out... so bandannas, hats of any short that can absorb the sweat is greatly appericated. Shorts and light material is worn with much admoration and not even giving a rats ass if it matches because I am going to be comfy in this God forsaken heat wave that continues to go on for days on end in the months of June through September in Rural America. IDK about anyone else in the world but Summer is not just fun but also tretuous for those who are burden with self conciousness about B.O because of the heat. I sit in the back of the room by myself, so that I wont offend anyone with my heated natural fragrances, I tote around pleasurable fragrances and deaodrant so that I might not smell as bad. I shower 2 and three times daily in the summer as to avoid being offensive. Its extreme but its reality sometimes. If anyone you out there in cyber world have some good tips on how to cope better with this idea please comment me please
well for now thats about it... I have more thoughts but that will be for later in the weeks to come... I have much more to think about and to relay to you my dear faithful readers. I hope and pray to the Vagaline Goddess that I have at least made you smile about something in this article. I hope and pray that you find something to uplift your sprits and at very least you have made a connection and related to somone even if for the sheer fact that you are not the only one who has those feelings. I know I feel like a crazy person just thinking that I smell in the dead of summer because of the heat when in fact we all do or that history repeats its self when it comes to medicine. You are not alone dear readers in the struggles of living a life of a Fat person. Yes your fat but that is merely simple discriptor not who you are. yes someitimes it becomes me and gets me down. Then again i realize its only fat... it giggles and wiggles and when I dance it tickles people pink... so there ya have it peeps my thoguhts for the moment... I shall leave you with a link of a youtube video that a friend shared with me hthat brought a smile to my face and glee to my heart... so heres to the Hope that my words have some how touched you or caused you to be touched and loved in some way. untill next time when I have more riviting stories from rural america to add to the never ending soga of
Diaries of a Mad Fat Woman