Ants.

[madewithplastic]

Our house is being invaded by ants, they come through the walls, between the cracks, under the doors, I seal all the holes up with polyfilla but they keep coming, I think there's a hole above the cupboards but I can't find it, they get into the water jug and make little islands of struggling ants, the other night a bullant stung me in the palm, now my palm is swollen. Who invented these things? What were they thinking? What possible purpose do the little bastards serve? My sincere wish is this: that a mutant strain of six foot long ants develops and causes anarchy, thus forcing me to acquire a chainsaw through means legal or otherwise and take my rage out on all their mutated exoskeletal hides. Then I would be sated.

Also, high adventure in a world of magic! I want them all, how do I get them?

[EDIT] I don't want the whiskey keyrings, I thought I should clarify that.

You may have noticed I have the internet again... Sorry.