Ode to a Piece of Shit Computer
You stupid fucking piece of shit, I am going to fucking break your fucking ass in fucking half, I HATE you, delete all my files will you, you little shithead, i'll show you, i'll rip you a new one you stupid goddamn piece of crap... i bet you're laughing to your little electronic self, you stupid smug little bastard, yeah you're proud of yourself, do you have any idea how long it took to type all that up, no you don't cause you have NO BRAIN and your STUPID haha, and unlike the tin man you will never ever get a brain. dammit i hate you you fucking waste of electricity, but you'll see who'll be laughing when i rip out all your little circuits and wires and torch your motherboard you fucking fucker. i'm going pull an "Office Space" and take you out to the caul de sac and throw you on the ground and give you the chair, WWF-style, and kick the shit out of your useless fuckin metal self and stomp you and then we'll see who's laughing, yeah that's right. then i'll leave you on the curb for the garbage men to take you but they won't because you're an environmental hazard and NO ONE LIKES YOU you little shit, that will teach you to delete people's summer work you little shit you. i will always hate you for this, i'll never forgive you or be nice to you again, we're not going to "make up" and i'm never going to clean your monitor again and i'm going to leave you on all night and maybe pour some stuff on your keyboard, and every time i do have to do work on you, i will still loathe and hate and despise and detest and abhor and HATE you lots and lots. no one likes you you little piece of shit computer. you have less friends than Osama bin Laden. i have half a mind to just throw your ass out and go to Best Buy and blow a grand on a GOOD new computer, you little fucker. one day you'll pay for deleting my work, you file-eating worthless piece of shit, did i mention i hate you. i'm gonna wreak havoc on your little digital ass. bad computers come to bad ends, you little monster you, mark my words. i have had it with you. stupid fucker.
i'm gonna go eat a shitload of forbidden chocolate ice cream and make a gallon of stress relief tea and look for angry music to listen to. i would download some but your piece of shit ass would probably go eat the fucking files. i'll come back when i weigh 300 lbs and then i'll sit on you and squish your smug little dumbassness into a metal pulp and then i'll laugh at you.
FUCK.
well that was therapeutic. i feel better now.
stupid fucker... ate all my summer work... it's gonna take forever to retype that.
much hatred in the direction of electronics. holla if you hate 'em too.
*breathe* grumble grumble grumble.
i'm gonna go eat a shitload of forbidden chocolate ice cream and make a gallon of stress relief tea and look for angry music to listen to. i would download some but your piece of shit ass would probably go eat the fucking files. i'll come back when i weigh 300 lbs and then i'll sit on you and squish your smug little dumbassness into a metal pulp and then i'll laugh at you.
FUCK.
well that was therapeutic. i feel better now.
stupid fucker... ate all my summer work... it's gonna take forever to retype that.
much hatred in the direction of electronics. holla if you hate 'em too.
*breathe* grumble grumble grumble.