(no subject)
you know, they say life is a roller coaster. i'm starting to realize why that's so true. one minute everything is great, the next everything goes wrong. why? why is life so complex? but then again, so simple. come on...it can't be that hard to figure out. i miss him so much. everyday, it seems like it gets harder. i start fights over nothing, but it really isn't nothing. more than anything, i want him to show me he truly cares. why is that so hard? why is it so hard for him to see that i just want to be loved? i don't know why i thought anything was going to be any different than when he left. i don't know why i thought he would change. he's the same person he was 3 months ago, 6 months ago, a year ago. i know he hasn't changed. he wants to drink when he gets home. i don't want him to drink. the more he drinks, the more we fight. but if he is going to give up smoking, then maybe i wouldn't mind if he drank. i don't like him when he smokes. actually, i think i hate him when he smokes. why do i get in these relationships? why do i cause myself all the trouble? i just want someone who will take care of me when i'm sick. i want someone who will smile even when everything is all wrong. i want someone who is home.