Header post
my fic journal Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ paper_scribbles
flavors Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ minseok
jq
＊ journal abandoned
♥
what if technology became so advanced that sleep could be replaced with an energy pill? i guess that wouldn't work, because we'll all be high strung and suicide rates will skyrocket. the last thing we need is more depressed suicidal people. so i guess sleep is good. if only the world could synchronize itself with my internal clock (or is it the other way around?), so that i'm awake when i have to be and asleep when i should be. or maybe i should move to a country that starts its day at midnight and blows out the candles in the morning. that would be heaven on earth. speaking of which, i don't believe in heaven, because i don't believe in life after death. when we die, i think, the flame extinguishes and we just disappear, living only in memories.
how does it feel like to be perfect? it must be awfully tiring. it must also be awfully boring. perfection is the last thing anyone would want because of the sheer amount of suffocating pressure and expectations that accompany it. but i guess if you were perfect, you'll be able to smile and deal with the pressure because if you can't, you wouldn't be perfect. i wish i were amazing, but it takes a certain amount of personality, and a lot of genuine kindness to be that, and i'm not quite sure i have the ability to be anything more than mediocre. it's so rare to find amazing people and i've only met a handful, but that small handful has rendered me speechless with awe and envy. i want to be like them, i want to be them.
from my bedroom i can see the stars. no, i lie, because the only window in my room, though it takes up an entire wall, faces the alley, so all i can see are the back of other houses. and the occasional cat. i want to lie back and look at the stars, but i never can here, because it's always cloudy and time never stops long enough for me to blow the clouds away. i did try once, at the world expo in shanghai, where i lay on the grass outside the british pavilion, and god, it was one of the most serene and spectacular feelings in the world. saying that i can't see the stars, that's an excuse, of course. the stars are permanent, they are eternal, always up in the sky, always there. i must not be bothered enough to make the effort. i guess i don't want to star gaze as much as i think i do.
words are my life. i live breathe think words. the laptop is my friend, the keyboard is my pen. 90% of the things i write never get posted because if they all were, the internet would flood.
nice to meet you.
i hope you'll be kind to me.