Sep 21, 2008 02:09
i spent the day texting tony back and forth. trying to convince him to come back to me.
for a long time he kept saying that he wanted nothing to do with me and the kids. i knew that wasn't the truth.
it was just the anger talking.
i know all about anger.
it's the most destructive human emotion.
it's what cause me and tony to break up during that awful fall three years ago.
i had an anger burning inside of me and the stuff i did just fueled it.
and tony tried to get me to let it go. but i wouldn't.
this time... it was me trying to get tony to forget the anger.
it's not easy to do once you've got so much built up inside you.
my actions from three years ago are still coming back to haunt me.
but i've learned from them. with tony's help even if he can't see that now.
i don't want to lose the love that we have.
i don't want to lose the friendship that we've spent years repairing.
he is my soulmate and we both know that we belong together.
it's just frustrating that there are other things in our lives that prevent us from being together as often as we'd like to be.
the thought of being with other people makes us sick.
and i was wrong to accuse him of lying.
it was the anger talking.
anger is so destructive.
the only thing that kills the anger is love.
he is the only person who can make the anger go away.
he's the only person who understands me.
i love him and i want to work this out.