veins to eyes to ears to scream to dream
heroin.
i saw the most depressing movie in the world last night. there is really no reason to go on. *collects self*
i was so sad after seeing requiem for a dream last night that i couldnt move.
or maybe it was something else not allowing me to move. the same reason i was eating pizza like there was tomorrow. and
the same reason i was the second "e" in the word tree. i made shaun promise not to tell my secret.
but anyhow -- i could possibly just be completly crazy. i saw legends of the fall when i was in 6th grade. i couldnt eat for days afterwords, and i wrote 4 pages about the movie in my diary. i was in love with tristan. after about two weeks i stopped thinking about it.
then when i was in 10th grade i saw titanic. i was devestated. i didnt like the movie when i saw it. too long, too much "ROSE!!!!" "JACK!!!!"
i was easily irritated and i wasnt huge on the idea of the movie making millions off of thousands of lives lost.
but then i got home and it hit me. jack loved rose so much! and they had known each other less than a week. when would i find that? i was able to eat the next day and didnt write about it in my diary but my room was covered in titanic everything for about three months.
but harry and marianne. oh boy oh boy. they top my list of sadness. i wanted to just step into the tv and lie on the floor with both of them and tell them everything was going to be okay. but was it? this is doubtful.
what is the matter with me?
i think i am a bit to emotional about these things. see the movie. just see it. after that you will be grateful for everything and everyone you have around you.
if i hadnt had shaun to watch that with i would have been a mess. i didnt cry - but i couldnt believe what i saw.
i always do that though. shaun is like my dad in that way. when i get really sad or scared - i want him around. maybe its because i feel safe or maybe its becaause i can watch the movie and think "WOW that would suck" but I have shaun sitting next to me and everything is fine.
does that ever happen to you?
it was like the little girl in me was scared, sad, and didnt know how to react. so i just squeezed his hand and he looked at me and i was fine.
the movie also felt a bit like watching one of those new levi's commercials. again - i was a bit out of BUT you have to agree with me. my best, most amazing ideas and realizations come to me at those times.
its cold out. and im not ready for fall. my bank ripped me off today. somehow my loan payoff came to $1500 - it was suppose to be like $1200 but i didnt realize it till i got home. damn. so i have to come all the way back to stockbridge on monday. i was going to go tanning today, get my nails fixed, clean my car out, and get my oil changed.
instead i slept. i was the product of a wnb in the shower this morning. hah. its my own fault.
i was going to write last night but i fell asleep. go figure. i sleep way too much. gotta get that checked out.
could be my diet.
todays dinner consisted of a sunny d and two grape popsicles. maybe i should try diet pills?? HAHA!!
that was a joke. if i did i might be able to fit in my red dress. and then i could be in the television.
that is if the fridge didnt kill me first. hah.
i cant imagine not eating. desi and i talked about that at lunch the other day. we love food too much. its way too good. we are destined to be fat. hah. oh well. bring in the 300 lbs. i wont give up any of it.
anyhow.
im officially obsessed.
they held each other and kissed and pushed each others darkness into the corner believing in each others light, each others dreams
i dont think anything on my weekend list is going to get done.
typical crystal style
its dark out now. i wish it was july. and i moon was out. i could go for a walk in the fields.
i need to make an updated wish list. why not. i dont really feel like going anywhere or doing anything tonight. so ill go ahead and do that.
1. cds
2. a cappucino/chai machine
3. a loft apartment in NYC
4. the ability to paint, sing, play guitar
5. pouty lips like miss jolie and eyes like smb
6. a cabinet full of champagne flutes
7. a huge window looking out of my loft apartment that is entirely stained glass
8. somewhere to people watch
9. lots of spare time
10. a huge empty room for dancing
11. fruit
12. a howie day concert
13. a marilyn manson concert
-----------------------------------------------------------
1. ben folds, elbow, mm, howie day, placebo, the notwist, etc etc etc. hundreds and hundreds of cds. all in their original cases
2. it tastes oh so yummy
3. i think i would miss home
4. (one or all) and do it fantstically
5. currently im just me and i dont mind it so much
but her lips and his eyes are able to be envied
6. i like the look of them
7. there would be windows there were non stained glass as well, of course, but stained glass is great
8. i love to people watch
9. to write, to walk, to breathe, to love
10. like in legend
11. i love fruit
12. i missed it yesterday. i would love to see him
13. entertaining!
im bored and this computer screen is making me tired. i might just go watch a movie.
i wonder if tomorrows plans will pan out?
hope your weekend is _________
i know mine is
i saw the most depressing movie in the world last night. there is really no reason to go on. *collects self*
i was so sad after seeing requiem for a dream last night that i couldnt move.
or maybe it was something else not allowing me to move. the same reason i was eating pizza like there was tomorrow. and
the same reason i was the second "e" in the word tree. i made shaun promise not to tell my secret.
but anyhow -- i could possibly just be completly crazy. i saw legends of the fall when i was in 6th grade. i couldnt eat for days afterwords, and i wrote 4 pages about the movie in my diary. i was in love with tristan. after about two weeks i stopped thinking about it.
then when i was in 10th grade i saw titanic. i was devestated. i didnt like the movie when i saw it. too long, too much "ROSE!!!!" "JACK!!!!"
i was easily irritated and i wasnt huge on the idea of the movie making millions off of thousands of lives lost.
but then i got home and it hit me. jack loved rose so much! and they had known each other less than a week. when would i find that? i was able to eat the next day and didnt write about it in my diary but my room was covered in titanic everything for about three months.
but harry and marianne. oh boy oh boy. they top my list of sadness. i wanted to just step into the tv and lie on the floor with both of them and tell them everything was going to be okay. but was it? this is doubtful.
what is the matter with me?
i think i am a bit to emotional about these things. see the movie. just see it. after that you will be grateful for everything and everyone you have around you.
if i hadnt had shaun to watch that with i would have been a mess. i didnt cry - but i couldnt believe what i saw.
i always do that though. shaun is like my dad in that way. when i get really sad or scared - i want him around. maybe its because i feel safe or maybe its becaause i can watch the movie and think "WOW that would suck" but I have shaun sitting next to me and everything is fine.
does that ever happen to you?
it was like the little girl in me was scared, sad, and didnt know how to react. so i just squeezed his hand and he looked at me and i was fine.
the movie also felt a bit like watching one of those new levi's commercials. again - i was a bit out of BUT you have to agree with me. my best, most amazing ideas and realizations come to me at those times.
its cold out. and im not ready for fall. my bank ripped me off today. somehow my loan payoff came to $1500 - it was suppose to be like $1200 but i didnt realize it till i got home. damn. so i have to come all the way back to stockbridge on monday. i was going to go tanning today, get my nails fixed, clean my car out, and get my oil changed.
instead i slept. i was the product of a wnb in the shower this morning. hah. its my own fault.
i was going to write last night but i fell asleep. go figure. i sleep way too much. gotta get that checked out.
could be my diet.
todays dinner consisted of a sunny d and two grape popsicles. maybe i should try diet pills?? HAHA!!
that was a joke. if i did i might be able to fit in my red dress. and then i could be in the television.
that is if the fridge didnt kill me first. hah.
i cant imagine not eating. desi and i talked about that at lunch the other day. we love food too much. its way too good. we are destined to be fat. hah. oh well. bring in the 300 lbs. i wont give up any of it.
anyhow.
im officially obsessed.
they held each other and kissed and pushed each others darkness into the corner believing in each others light, each others dreams
i dont think anything on my weekend list is going to get done.
typical crystal style
its dark out now. i wish it was july. and i moon was out. i could go for a walk in the fields.
i need to make an updated wish list. why not. i dont really feel like going anywhere or doing anything tonight. so ill go ahead and do that.
1. cds
2. a cappucino/chai machine
3. a loft apartment in NYC
4. the ability to paint, sing, play guitar
5. pouty lips like miss jolie and eyes like smb
6. a cabinet full of champagne flutes
7. a huge window looking out of my loft apartment that is entirely stained glass
8. somewhere to people watch
9. lots of spare time
10. a huge empty room for dancing
11. fruit
12. a howie day concert
13. a marilyn manson concert
-----------------------------------------------------------
1. ben folds, elbow, mm, howie day, placebo, the notwist, etc etc etc. hundreds and hundreds of cds. all in their original cases
2. it tastes oh so yummy
3. i think i would miss home
4. (one or all) and do it fantstically
5. currently im just me and i dont mind it so much
but her lips and his eyes are able to be envied
6. i like the look of them
7. there would be windows there were non stained glass as well, of course, but stained glass is great
8. i love to people watch
9. to write, to walk, to breathe, to love
10. like in legend
11. i love fruit
12. i missed it yesterday. i would love to see him
13. entertaining!
im bored and this computer screen is making me tired. i might just go watch a movie.
i wonder if tomorrows plans will pan out?
hope your weekend is _________
i know mine is