she dissolves into delighted grins & feelings of lipstick type helplessness

Sep 26, 2003 07:39

still havent gotten you those pics from this past weekend. but who is you anyhow? noone probably cares. i showed the pics to all that matter in person. ill still post them later.
i think i got the job but im not going to say for sure. she is going to call me later today or tomorrow.
i think it will be cool. ill be one busy "kat". HAHA that one was for you boo *wink*

im getting pretty pale - i need to go tanning, or i could just go goth. yipes. no. beeth told me yesterday that my hair looks rockin good dark and that i should leave it like this. i think i like it too.
i am still pretty sick and i was horrible last night. in pain from like 3 seperate things. icky!

Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive. Repetitive.

check out my boring journal. my journal reflects my life. boring.

but i guess it isnt so. i just think sometimes about how silly life is.
were we really put here to work and come home and work and come home and occasionaly have "fun"? are we really entertained by mtv? how did that happen?
what comes after this? there HAS to be something else. this boggles my mind. god wouldnt dare put me here just to be here and then die and poof thats the end.

allowing the worms to steal all of my experiences. that cant be it. drum roll. exit stage right.
i think like i said when i was completly(sp?) gone the other night that heaven is going to be a return to earth but everything is what you want it to be. not necessarily that you are a rockstar or a super model but that you are just happy. everything surrounding you makes you happy. and you love everyone in your life and everything is always on the upswing.

maybe it was the "sail to the right" talking to me, but i think that could be it. i dont believe we will end up on some fluffy cloud feeding each other grapes while listening to angels sing. that sounds boring as fuck.

still obsessed with smooth. its blasting through my headphones now. blasting! i want to dance. im going out next wednesday --i cant take it. i have to have some mindless fun. ill have to get out and dust off my fake suit. its been a while since i wore it.
no one gets the fake suit. my own little private, secret invention. i love my fake suit.

take myself as a child. im still in there. but im surrounded by the older version of me. isnt it weird how that happens? how we are all still little kids inside? i look at myself inthe mirror sometimes and think - i wonder what i would look like if my 8 year old self was standing next to me looking at me? would the 8 year old me be like "wow shes pretty, cool, and fun -- i hope im like her when i grow up?" or would she be like "thats not what i want to be AT ALL"?

i hope i have turned into something thus far that would have pleased me

i know when i was 8 i would have loved the car i have now. and im pretty sure that i couldnt imagine myself kissing ANY boys(ick).
(pay close attention, this is about to get confusing)
i think if my 8 year old self were sitting at my kitchen table in my house watching my 21 year old self, but invisible to my 21 year old self... my 8 year old self would prohbably think that my life as my 21 year old self is "SCARY!". it makes complete sense to me. always has. ha. "i love you. always have."
(braveheart)

i couldnt picture myself having to do the things i do now. a job, a car, a car payment, boys, getting my nails done, dealing with idiots at work, writing in a live journal, driving, etc etc. how weird to think about. am i crazy or do other people think about these sorts of things as well? OR even better yet... are YOU all crazy?

whatever. what else do i really have to write about? nothing.

i need to hang out with tylor. i havent since we got back from mack isl. i have pics of that trip too for you guys... WHOS EXCITED?!?!? raise your fucking hands! thanks.



have the best weekend ever
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