FIC: "Bam Margera Has The Best Ideas Ever" 1 /1
Title:"Bam Margera Has The Best Ides Ever" 1/1
Author:
caramel_maddy @
maddys_slash
Pairing: Bam Margera / Ryan Dunn
Summary: First times are NEVER glorious.
Genre: Humor/Smut(ish)
Word Count: 1,188
Rating/Warning: NC-!7 for kind of smut between teenage Bam (15) and Ryan (17).
AN: For
queen_nothin because she's awesome.
Bam Margera Has The Best Ideas Ever
Sex was awful. Ryan was barely seventeen, couldn’t even tell you the distance from his cock to his left foot. Hell, he could barely even tell you the difference between the two. He was sloppy, eager and fast. Lasted all of fourteen incredibly embarrassing and extremely uncomfortable seconds. It wasn’t hot or romantic or glorious. Quite the opposite really. It was awkward, weird and kind of funny or at least the moments leading up to it were. See it was Bam’s idea to have sex. They had jerked each other off a few times and Ryan had even blown him once or twice so naturally the next step to take in their grand four-week homosexual affair was to have intercourse.
Bam had never done it before. Not with a guy, not with a girl, not with anything in-between. He was eager. He was fifteen and would’a fucked a hole in the wall if he wasn’t afraid of something biting off his cock. However, Ryan had done it before. He was totally older and totally scored with four hot chicks at summer camp or at least that’s what he told everyone. Truth was, he did have sex all right, but it wasn’t at summer camp and it was only with one girl, one time. It was in the back of a beat up pick up truck sitting in his grandparents’ backyard in Ohio the spring before his sixteenth birthday. The girl was average -plain faced, kind of quiet. The kind of girl that only had male friends. See, her head was shaved in the back and she was small like a pixie, but wore sneakers with holes in them and she had grease under her fingernails. She wasn’t perfect, but she was willing and sort of looked like a boy. And Ryan fucked her. It was horrible. He put in the wrong hole. Ryan hadn’t even been aware that there was, in fact, a ‘wrong kind of hole’, but evidently there was one and he had found it.
The day when Bam and Ryan first had sex went like this, and exactly like this:
“Let’s fuck.”
Even at fifteen Bam had been a straight to the point kind of guy.
“How?”
Even at seventeen, Ryan had perfected the art of playing dumb.
“I got a porno. We could watch it.”
“Where did you get a porno from?”
“Art Webb. He gave it to me. Said it was some sick shit and it’ll make me puke.”
“How is watching pukey-porn gonna set a mood?”
“It’s not pukey-porn fucktwad, it’s a gay porn.”
“Why does Rake’s brother have gay porn?”
“I don’t know,” Bam sighed ushering Ryan down the hall towards his bedroom. “We’ll watch it. Learn. Then fuck.”
And so that’s how it began. Two silly teenage boys held up inside of a dirty bedroom where dingy socks and old, faded tattered bluejeans lined the floor on a lazy March afternoon, a VHS adult film titled ‘Bucks Greatest Fucks: Volume Two’ popped in the VCR.
At first it was pretty boring. It was three guys in a supply room. Bam made some sort of comment about the guys having major gay faces and for some unknown reason they were actually trying to act, following some halfass shoddy script with more holes in it than a fishing net. Ryan couldn’t tell you what the plot of the story was. All he knew was that one-minute the guys were talking and the next two guys were 69’n and the third guy was fingering himself.
It was gross. No, really. It was disgusting because two of the guys had zits and way too much hair around their assholes. Like, seriously...ewe. They were old too. Not like super-duper old, but definitely old enough to be one of their uncles and after ten minutes Ryan told Bam he would practically do anything he wanted if he’d just turn the god damn tape off.
And Bam told Ryan he wanted to have sex -well ‘fuck’ anyway.
They didn’t strip. No, none of that was necessary. Bam simply yanked his shorts down until his pale little rump jutted and Ryan undid his fly. Bam hunched over the bed, stomach pressing into the mattress and he took a deep breath spreading his legs. He told Ryan to go slow. I mean, hell, this was his first time and while Ryan was less than endowed, Bam didn’t want to run the risk of pulling, breaking or ripping something.
He would have been pissed if his skate routine went straight to hell because of an ass-fucking mishap.
So Ryan was gentle. With trembling fingers he gripped his little pink Irish pecker and pressed it at Bam’s entrance.
Bam yelped, flinched away.
“That burns,” he growled.
“I’m sorry,” Ryan sighed. “You’re dry.”
“Use a little spit.”
“Ewe, no!”
“You gotta make it wet you asshole!”
“What? Wet your asshole?” Ryan laughed and Bam rolled his eyes in annoyance. He pulled up his shorts glaring at Ryan.
“Do you want to do this or not?”
“I do.”
“Well spit a little!” Bam commanded turning back around.
Even though it was totally gross and the idea totally made him cringe, Ryan spit on his palm lubing up his cock.
Bam didn’t feel much of a difference, told Ryan so as he kept trying to break through what felt unbreakable and in his frustration with the whole situation -and the persistent nagging sting in his backside, Bam reached under his pillow and tossed Ryan a bottle of lotion.
Ryan made a joke. It was lame, went something like: ‘I guess you keep this under there for easy access, huh?’
Lotion. Warm. Wet. Sticky. Fun.
The tip of Ryan’s cock slid inside of Bam almost effortlessly despite the continual clenching of Bam’s cheeks protesting the breaching entry.
Bam grunted. Man. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel good either.
Ryan moaned. Man. It felt good. It didn’t hurt, no not at all.
Bam told Ryan to go slow.
Ryan hips jerked.
Bam called Ryan an idiot.
Ryan told Bam that he loved him.
After ten seconds Bam was ready to tell Ryan to forget the whole thing. His back was hurting, his hips ached and he swore that he would never do this again because sex was stupid and way too overrated. Like Disneyland or going to the beach in August.
After fourteen seconds, Ryan was ready to tell Bam that he wanted to marry him. His back was hurting, his hips ached, but he swore he’d just had the best orgasm of his life because when he came, he hadn‘t even realized he had ejaculated until Bam started yelling about how now he was gonna have to change his shorts.
Bam’s was annoyed.
Ryan was satisfied, so satisfied that he laid on top of Bam for almost a full twenty seconds just breathing until Bam pushed him off with a grunt calling him an asshole before rummaging through the piles of clothes on the floor in search of something not covered in cum to wear.
/FIN
*Feedback Is Lovely*
Complete Fiction List new updates friend / found @
maddys_slash
Author:
caramel_maddy @
maddys_slash
Pairing: Bam Margera / Ryan Dunn
Summary: First times are NEVER glorious.
Genre: Humor/Smut(ish)
Word Count: 1,188
Rating/Warning: NC-!7 for kind of smut between teenage Bam (15) and Ryan (17).
AN: For
queen_nothin because she's awesome.
Bam Margera Has The Best Ideas Ever
Sex was awful. Ryan was barely seventeen, couldn’t even tell you the distance from his cock to his left foot. Hell, he could barely even tell you the difference between the two. He was sloppy, eager and fast. Lasted all of fourteen incredibly embarrassing and extremely uncomfortable seconds. It wasn’t hot or romantic or glorious. Quite the opposite really. It was awkward, weird and kind of funny or at least the moments leading up to it were. See it was Bam’s idea to have sex. They had jerked each other off a few times and Ryan had even blown him once or twice so naturally the next step to take in their grand four-week homosexual affair was to have intercourse.
Bam had never done it before. Not with a guy, not with a girl, not with anything in-between. He was eager. He was fifteen and would’a fucked a hole in the wall if he wasn’t afraid of something biting off his cock. However, Ryan had done it before. He was totally older and totally scored with four hot chicks at summer camp or at least that’s what he told everyone. Truth was, he did have sex all right, but it wasn’t at summer camp and it was only with one girl, one time. It was in the back of a beat up pick up truck sitting in his grandparents’ backyard in Ohio the spring before his sixteenth birthday. The girl was average -plain faced, kind of quiet. The kind of girl that only had male friends. See, her head was shaved in the back and she was small like a pixie, but wore sneakers with holes in them and she had grease under her fingernails. She wasn’t perfect, but she was willing and sort of looked like a boy. And Ryan fucked her. It was horrible. He put in the wrong hole. Ryan hadn’t even been aware that there was, in fact, a ‘wrong kind of hole’, but evidently there was one and he had found it.
The day when Bam and Ryan first had sex went like this, and exactly like this:
“Let’s fuck.”
Even at fifteen Bam had been a straight to the point kind of guy.
“How?”
Even at seventeen, Ryan had perfected the art of playing dumb.
“I got a porno. We could watch it.”
“Where did you get a porno from?”
“Art Webb. He gave it to me. Said it was some sick shit and it’ll make me puke.”
“How is watching pukey-porn gonna set a mood?”
“It’s not pukey-porn fucktwad, it’s a gay porn.”
“Why does Rake’s brother have gay porn?”
“I don’t know,” Bam sighed ushering Ryan down the hall towards his bedroom. “We’ll watch it. Learn. Then fuck.”
And so that’s how it began. Two silly teenage boys held up inside of a dirty bedroom where dingy socks and old, faded tattered bluejeans lined the floor on a lazy March afternoon, a VHS adult film titled ‘Bucks Greatest Fucks: Volume Two’ popped in the VCR.
At first it was pretty boring. It was three guys in a supply room. Bam made some sort of comment about the guys having major gay faces and for some unknown reason they were actually trying to act, following some halfass shoddy script with more holes in it than a fishing net. Ryan couldn’t tell you what the plot of the story was. All he knew was that one-minute the guys were talking and the next two guys were 69’n and the third guy was fingering himself.
It was gross. No, really. It was disgusting because two of the guys had zits and way too much hair around their assholes. Like, seriously...ewe. They were old too. Not like super-duper old, but definitely old enough to be one of their uncles and after ten minutes Ryan told Bam he would practically do anything he wanted if he’d just turn the god damn tape off.
And Bam told Ryan he wanted to have sex -well ‘fuck’ anyway.
They didn’t strip. No, none of that was necessary. Bam simply yanked his shorts down until his pale little rump jutted and Ryan undid his fly. Bam hunched over the bed, stomach pressing into the mattress and he took a deep breath spreading his legs. He told Ryan to go slow. I mean, hell, this was his first time and while Ryan was less than endowed, Bam didn’t want to run the risk of pulling, breaking or ripping something.
He would have been pissed if his skate routine went straight to hell because of an ass-fucking mishap.
So Ryan was gentle. With trembling fingers he gripped his little pink Irish pecker and pressed it at Bam’s entrance.
Bam yelped, flinched away.
“That burns,” he growled.
“I’m sorry,” Ryan sighed. “You’re dry.”
“Use a little spit.”
“Ewe, no!”
“You gotta make it wet you asshole!”
“What? Wet your asshole?” Ryan laughed and Bam rolled his eyes in annoyance. He pulled up his shorts glaring at Ryan.
“Do you want to do this or not?”
“I do.”
“Well spit a little!” Bam commanded turning back around.
Even though it was totally gross and the idea totally made him cringe, Ryan spit on his palm lubing up his cock.
Bam didn’t feel much of a difference, told Ryan so as he kept trying to break through what felt unbreakable and in his frustration with the whole situation -and the persistent nagging sting in his backside, Bam reached under his pillow and tossed Ryan a bottle of lotion.
Ryan made a joke. It was lame, went something like: ‘I guess you keep this under there for easy access, huh?’
Lotion. Warm. Wet. Sticky. Fun.
The tip of Ryan’s cock slid inside of Bam almost effortlessly despite the continual clenching of Bam’s cheeks protesting the breaching entry.
Bam grunted. Man. It didn’t hurt, but it didn’t feel good either.
Ryan moaned. Man. It felt good. It didn’t hurt, no not at all.
Bam told Ryan to go slow.
Ryan hips jerked.
Bam called Ryan an idiot.
Ryan told Bam that he loved him.
After ten seconds Bam was ready to tell Ryan to forget the whole thing. His back was hurting, his hips ached and he swore that he would never do this again because sex was stupid and way too overrated. Like Disneyland or going to the beach in August.
After fourteen seconds, Ryan was ready to tell Bam that he wanted to marry him. His back was hurting, his hips ached, but he swore he’d just had the best orgasm of his life because when he came, he hadn‘t even realized he had ejaculated until Bam started yelling about how now he was gonna have to change his shorts.
Bam’s was annoyed.
Ryan was satisfied, so satisfied that he laid on top of Bam for almost a full twenty seconds just breathing until Bam pushed him off with a grunt calling him an asshole before rummaging through the piles of clothes on the floor in search of something not covered in cum to wear.
/FIN
*Feedback Is Lovely*
Complete Fiction List new updates friend / found @
maddys_slash