FIC: "Thursday Morning 1 /1
Title: "Thursday Morning" 1/1
Pairing: Jensen Ackles / Jared Padalecki
Summary: Have you ever woken up naked in someone's bed with no recollection of how you got there? Yeah, Jensen can relate.
Warning/ Rating: Hard R for silly humor, references to m/m sex
Word Count:2,310
A/N:I was watching last night's episode (Winchesters wrestling on a bed!) and got inspired to write something silly and funny.This contains NO spoilers.
THURSDAY MORNING
The warmth of the sun beaming in through the window warms his slick, freckled skin. He’s tired and feels like he could lay like this forever, but something in his head is urging him awake. Jensen yawns, turning his head away and pulling the body in his bed closer.
There’s a body in his bed? Shit. There is. What the hell? There totally is a fucking person lying beside him. Who the hell is it? Jensen can feel the heat radiating from their body, the hair on their legs grazing against his. It tickles. Damn it, why does this girl have hair on her legs? How loaded did he get last night? He must have been shit-tossed and took home some new-age hippie chick. Those kinds of girls are all over Vancouver. Not that he minds, he just hates the smell of coriander incense. It makes him want to puke and god he swears he can smell it in her hair. On the other hand, is that cologne? Why does she wear cologne?
He keeps his eyes closed, his stomach tight in knots. He’s naked, butt ass naked as the day the doctor left a pink handprint on his white little baby bottom.
Jensen doesn’t ‘do’ one night stands. He does not just bring home random girls and do random things to them. And jeez, this chick must be tall. Jensen Ackles does not do tall chicks or at least not taller than him. Nothing against them, he just prefers his girls to be neat and compact, but this chick -the hippie chick, seems tall. Like gigantically tall, like not of this earth tall. She’s slinging one of her long legs awkwardly across his body, almost pulling him towards her with it. Her leg is like a tree, like totally a freaking tree from some forest of really, really tall ones.
Jensen gives her a nickname. In his head, he calls her Redwood.
Fuck. She’s yawning, she’s pulling her leg away which just means that she must be waking up. He’s gonna have to face her, gonna have to let her down easy. Explain to her that while he’s sure last night was quite pleasant -even if he can’t remember it, that it was just a one time thing. He works way too many hours to try to get himself involved in a relationship and can barely remember to leave water out for the cat let alone take the time to call her. It would end bad. Yeah, he’ll just tell her the truth, the truth never hurts or at least it’s easier than telling a lie.
Shit. She’s shifting on the bed, twisting her body. Jensen can feel her pulling away and he takes a deep breath and tells himself to man up, to quit being a pussy and just open his fucking eyes and face her, face his mistake from the night before. This sounds easy in his head, but when it comes to actually doing it, he can’t bring himself to. He wishes he could fall back asleep. Maybe she’d get up and leave all on her on, but who’s to say that she will? No, he needs to get the cohunes and open his eyes.
So he does. With a soft sigh he cracks open his sleepy hazel-green eyes and looks at her.
She’s awake, staring at him, her eyes are wide with surprise and shock. Dark brown hair obscures her face, as does the cotton pillow she seems to be smothering herself in, but Jensen recognizes her nose. Her pointy nose is too familiar. This her isn’t a ‘her’, it’s a ‘him’ and this ‘him’ has a five o’clock shadow.
“Dude, why are you in my bed?” Jared asks. His voice is still thick with sleep, a Texas drawl rolls off the tongue; his breath the furthest thing away from being fresh.
“Um. Um. What?” Jensen stutters. He’s at a lost for words. He watches as Jared lifts up the sheets, looks under them before quickly looking away.
“Dude,” he hisses, “why are you naked?”
Jensen lifts up the sheets, sees that he is in fact very naked, but so is Jared.
“Dude, why are you naked?” he hisses back. They stare at each other for a moment, both dumbfounded. Jared sits up, scratches his head. The look of bewilderment on his face would make Jensen burst out laughing if he wasn’t feeling so lost and slightly troubled given their present situation of ‘waking-up-naked-in-bed-with-my-best-friend’.
“Okay, joke made, now get the fuck outta my bed and put some clothes on.” Jared sighs.
“You’re in my bed!” Jensen finds himself yelling.
“What?” Jared grunts back, sleep still thick in his tone. He pulls the sheets up to his chest snatching them away from Jensen and leaving him to jump up, shield himself with a pillow.
“You’re in my room!”
“No! You’re in my room!” Jared grunts.
“No, look around -this is totally my room!” Jensen argues. He takes a look around the hotel room that over the last year and a half he has grown to call ‘home’.
Oh shit. This isn’t his room. This totally is fucking Jared’s room and he mutters a swear word under his breath as this realization buries itself inside of his gut.
“Yeah, that’s about right. Dude, I’m all for a joke -you know, funny ha ha, but this is a little too weird.”
“I didn’t just crawl into your bed naked you know,” Jensen grunts, “I woke up there! Now where the fuck are my clothes?”
“Where the fuck are your clothes?” Jared mutters as he gets up searching the floor for Jensen’s blue jeans. “And what do you mean you just woke up here?”
“Exactly what I said Einstein, I just woke up -in your bed, here! What the fuck happened last night?”
Jared stops looking around and stares across the bed at Jensen, wrapping the sheets tighter around his body, even covering his chest as if he thinks Jensen will ogle his pecks. Right now, he can’t be sure that he won’t.
“Well I don’t remember you coming home here and climbing into my bed naked that’s for damn sure.” Jared sighs. Jensen rolls his eyes, tries to push away the pounding ache in his head with another deep breath. God, he has a hangover -the worse hangover ever.
“Yeah, funny. I’m serious! Do you remember anything, because I’m drawing a blank here!”
“I remember we wrapped shooting around one. I remember Bob driving us back into town.” Jared starts in a calmer voice.
“And I remember you having the bright idea to go into Murray’s for some drinks.”
“Hey! You wanted to go to Murray’s!”
“No! I wanted to go to O’Brien’s Pub, but YOU wanted to go into the sports bar!” Jensen argues. Jared rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue as if waiting from him to finish.
“Dude, whatever! We were at Murray’s. We had a few beers and left.”
“And then we went to Tasty’s over down on Highland because you wanted to go to a strip club.”
“I totally didn’t! You wanted to go!”
“I totally didn’t, bro -I don’t go to strip clubs!”
“Well you wanted to go last night!”
“No I didn’t, Mike wanted to go!” Jensen yells. He and Jared stare at each other in confusion for a moment before nodding their heads and remembering more details. “Oh yeah, Mike came into Murray’s.”
“And Mike wanted to go to Tasty’s.” Jared agrees. “He had his cousin visiting from Jersey.”
“Oh yeah, the lesbian girl.”
“Dude, her boobs were HUGE!” Jared laughs. Jensen smirks and then quickly they both remember that now is not the time to talk about Michael Rosenbaum’s lesbian cousin Kayla from Jersey and her DD breasts -but god, those water tanks could quench the thirst of a small third world nation.
“I had like two beers there-”
“You had like five.” Jared interjects.
“Bullshit, I totally didn’t!”
“Jensen, you had like five Coronas and a shot of vodka with something pink in it. Kayla had to practically drag you out of there on her boobs -you were tripping everywhere!”
“Dude! Whatever! I was drunk, okay, I know that, hell, my head is telling me that I was right now, but then what happened?”
“I don’t know.” Jared mumbles. He looks away, starts biting at his thumbnail. “Somehow we came back here.”
“Well duh Mr. Obvious, but that doesn’t explain why the hell we’re waking up naked in the same bed!”
“Okay, in all seriousness, if you’re joking, PLEASE tell me now because I’m about to freak out.”
“And you don’t see that this is me freaking out?” Jensen sighs as he takes a seat back down on the bed. Jared sits beside him for a split second before awkwardly jumping back up, running his palm through his dark brown hair. Jensen unconsciously mimics this action, scratching at his short wheat-blond buzz cut.
“When did I get a hair cut?” he asks softly.
“Kayla. I think I remember her cutting your hair.”
“What? In a strip club?” Jensen grunts.
“No idiot. I think back here. I think I remember us all coming back here -you, me, Kayla, Mike and the twins.”
“What twins?” Jensen asks letting his obvious annoyance with Jared peek through in the exasperated tone of his voice.
“Oh yeah,” Jared states as if the night before is becoming clearer. “There were these twin stripers.”
“Let me guess, Candy and Kane?” Jensen sighs sarcastically.
“Yeah, funny.” Jared grunts. “I think their names were like Jasmine and Laura or something like that -NO, Jasmine and Lilly.”
“Okay, so we know the stripper’s names, now how the fuck did we wind up naked in the same freaking bed?”
“Lets see,” Jared mumbles as he begins pacing around the room dragging the sheet with him. He looks like Plato, Socrates, or one of those other guys from Greece who used to roam around the world in togas Jensen thinks to himself. “Mike was making out with one of the girls; Kayla the other and they all wanted to come back here.”
“I think I remember that…yeah…I remember Kayla saying she was in beauty school.” Jensen suddenly remembers through the fog in his head.
“Yeah, that’s right!” Jared smiles, snapping his fingers and pointing at him. “And then she said we needed haircuts and you volunteered.”
“And then I remember going out into the living room. You were playing a video game. Mike was in the bathroom with one of those stripper girls, right?”
“Yeah, and then they left to go back to his place after a while.”
“And Kayla and her stripper arm candy went too.” Jensen continued.
“And then it was just you and me here.” Jared’s voice softens; his face darkens because now he can remember something that he’s going to pretend that he doesn’t.
“And you went into the mini bar.”
“Yeah, because YOU wanted a drink.” Jared grunts, scratches at his head and tries to hide what else he remembers because he’s not sure if it’s real or just some twisted little dream that he’s had. “And I can’t remember anything after that.”
“Well try.”
“I am, and I can’t! I remember drinking -a lot, and that’s it. You don’t remember anything?”
“No, if I did I-" Jensen’s words get stuck in his throat as he looks over on the night stand. His heart stops beating. “How does your ass feel?”
“What?” Jared almost laughs.
“Your ass, is it like...sore?” Jensen can feel his ears burning as he says this. He can’t believe that he’s actually saying this.
“I don’t know? I guess so…maybe...”
“Me too…like really sore…” Jensen trails off picking the empty condom wrapper up from the night stand, his eyes as wide as a river's swell.
Jared stands in shock, his mouth gaping open. When he watches as Jensen reaches under a pillow only to pull out four sticky and very used condoms, he swears he’s going to pass out.
The look on Jensen’s face mirrors his own. They’re both confused -no, scratch that. Confusion is an emotion that can be soothed with an answer because more times than not, an answer can be found right around the corner. This feeling that they’re experiencing is like some weird unexplained, unanswerable and indefinable emotion. It’s a sensation of baffled mystification; a problematic problem which just translates to being totally fucked up -like totally fucked up.
“Dude…” Jared whispers, “did we like…do….stuff?” His voice suddenly sounds childlike and all Jensen can do is nod his head and look away.
“I think so…”
“Oh man, oh man.”
“This totally screws up my day.” Jensen grunts. He looks up at Jared, Jared looks back and their eyes meet uncomfortably. Jensen thinks he knows Jared well enough to know that he wants to talk about other possibilities, try to dig deeper to explore any and everything that could have happened. His mother is a teacher after all and Jared grew up with the mentality that you could never learn too much, never no matter how much you may not want to.
However, Jared knows Jensen well enough to know that Jensen doesn’t want to do any of that. Jensen would prefer to just let it go, bury whatever it is; file it under ‘things we pretend never happened just so we don’t go crazy or feel crazy around each other’ and holy hell, right now Jared will do just that because he can’t find it himself to break it to Jensen that his ass really isn’t sore at all.
In fact, it’s his dick that feels a little raw, his ass is fine and if his memory serves him correct, he’s sure Jensen’s feeling a little bit more than “just sore”.
/FIN
Complete Fiction List fic updates
maddys_slash
Pairing: Jensen Ackles / Jared Padalecki
Summary: Have you ever woken up naked in someone's bed with no recollection of how you got there? Yeah, Jensen can relate.
Warning/ Rating: Hard R for silly humor, references to m/m sex
Word Count:2,310
A/N:I was watching last night's episode (Winchesters wrestling on a bed!) and got inspired to write something silly and funny.This contains NO spoilers.
THURSDAY MORNING
The warmth of the sun beaming in through the window warms his slick, freckled skin. He’s tired and feels like he could lay like this forever, but something in his head is urging him awake. Jensen yawns, turning his head away and pulling the body in his bed closer.
There’s a body in his bed? Shit. There is. What the hell? There totally is a fucking person lying beside him. Who the hell is it? Jensen can feel the heat radiating from their body, the hair on their legs grazing against his. It tickles. Damn it, why does this girl have hair on her legs? How loaded did he get last night? He must have been shit-tossed and took home some new-age hippie chick. Those kinds of girls are all over Vancouver. Not that he minds, he just hates the smell of coriander incense. It makes him want to puke and god he swears he can smell it in her hair. On the other hand, is that cologne? Why does she wear cologne?
He keeps his eyes closed, his stomach tight in knots. He’s naked, butt ass naked as the day the doctor left a pink handprint on his white little baby bottom.
Jensen doesn’t ‘do’ one night stands. He does not just bring home random girls and do random things to them. And jeez, this chick must be tall. Jensen Ackles does not do tall chicks or at least not taller than him. Nothing against them, he just prefers his girls to be neat and compact, but this chick -the hippie chick, seems tall. Like gigantically tall, like not of this earth tall. She’s slinging one of her long legs awkwardly across his body, almost pulling him towards her with it. Her leg is like a tree, like totally a freaking tree from some forest of really, really tall ones.
Jensen gives her a nickname. In his head, he calls her Redwood.
Fuck. She’s yawning, she’s pulling her leg away which just means that she must be waking up. He’s gonna have to face her, gonna have to let her down easy. Explain to her that while he’s sure last night was quite pleasant -even if he can’t remember it, that it was just a one time thing. He works way too many hours to try to get himself involved in a relationship and can barely remember to leave water out for the cat let alone take the time to call her. It would end bad. Yeah, he’ll just tell her the truth, the truth never hurts or at least it’s easier than telling a lie.
Shit. She’s shifting on the bed, twisting her body. Jensen can feel her pulling away and he takes a deep breath and tells himself to man up, to quit being a pussy and just open his fucking eyes and face her, face his mistake from the night before. This sounds easy in his head, but when it comes to actually doing it, he can’t bring himself to. He wishes he could fall back asleep. Maybe she’d get up and leave all on her on, but who’s to say that she will? No, he needs to get the cohunes and open his eyes.
So he does. With a soft sigh he cracks open his sleepy hazel-green eyes and looks at her.
She’s awake, staring at him, her eyes are wide with surprise and shock. Dark brown hair obscures her face, as does the cotton pillow she seems to be smothering herself in, but Jensen recognizes her nose. Her pointy nose is too familiar. This her isn’t a ‘her’, it’s a ‘him’ and this ‘him’ has a five o’clock shadow.
“Dude, why are you in my bed?” Jared asks. His voice is still thick with sleep, a Texas drawl rolls off the tongue; his breath the furthest thing away from being fresh.
“Um. Um. What?” Jensen stutters. He’s at a lost for words. He watches as Jared lifts up the sheets, looks under them before quickly looking away.
“Dude,” he hisses, “why are you naked?”
Jensen lifts up the sheets, sees that he is in fact very naked, but so is Jared.
“Dude, why are you naked?” he hisses back. They stare at each other for a moment, both dumbfounded. Jared sits up, scratches his head. The look of bewilderment on his face would make Jensen burst out laughing if he wasn’t feeling so lost and slightly troubled given their present situation of ‘waking-up-naked-in-bed-with-my-best-friend’.
“Okay, joke made, now get the fuck outta my bed and put some clothes on.” Jared sighs.
“You’re in my bed!” Jensen finds himself yelling.
“What?” Jared grunts back, sleep still thick in his tone. He pulls the sheets up to his chest snatching them away from Jensen and leaving him to jump up, shield himself with a pillow.
“You’re in my room!”
“No! You’re in my room!” Jared grunts.
“No, look around -this is totally my room!” Jensen argues. He takes a look around the hotel room that over the last year and a half he has grown to call ‘home’.
Oh shit. This isn’t his room. This totally is fucking Jared’s room and he mutters a swear word under his breath as this realization buries itself inside of his gut.
“Yeah, that’s about right. Dude, I’m all for a joke -you know, funny ha ha, but this is a little too weird.”
“I didn’t just crawl into your bed naked you know,” Jensen grunts, “I woke up there! Now where the fuck are my clothes?”
“Where the fuck are your clothes?” Jared mutters as he gets up searching the floor for Jensen’s blue jeans. “And what do you mean you just woke up here?”
“Exactly what I said Einstein, I just woke up -in your bed, here! What the fuck happened last night?”
Jared stops looking around and stares across the bed at Jensen, wrapping the sheets tighter around his body, even covering his chest as if he thinks Jensen will ogle his pecks. Right now, he can’t be sure that he won’t.
“Well I don’t remember you coming home here and climbing into my bed naked that’s for damn sure.” Jared sighs. Jensen rolls his eyes, tries to push away the pounding ache in his head with another deep breath. God, he has a hangover -the worse hangover ever.
“Yeah, funny. I’m serious! Do you remember anything, because I’m drawing a blank here!”
“I remember we wrapped shooting around one. I remember Bob driving us back into town.” Jared starts in a calmer voice.
“And I remember you having the bright idea to go into Murray’s for some drinks.”
“Hey! You wanted to go to Murray’s!”
“No! I wanted to go to O’Brien’s Pub, but YOU wanted to go into the sports bar!” Jensen argues. Jared rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue as if waiting from him to finish.
“Dude, whatever! We were at Murray’s. We had a few beers and left.”
“And then we went to Tasty’s over down on Highland because you wanted to go to a strip club.”
“I totally didn’t! You wanted to go!”
“I totally didn’t, bro -I don’t go to strip clubs!”
“Well you wanted to go last night!”
“No I didn’t, Mike wanted to go!” Jensen yells. He and Jared stare at each other in confusion for a moment before nodding their heads and remembering more details. “Oh yeah, Mike came into Murray’s.”
“And Mike wanted to go to Tasty’s.” Jared agrees. “He had his cousin visiting from Jersey.”
“Oh yeah, the lesbian girl.”
“Dude, her boobs were HUGE!” Jared laughs. Jensen smirks and then quickly they both remember that now is not the time to talk about Michael Rosenbaum’s lesbian cousin Kayla from Jersey and her DD breasts -but god, those water tanks could quench the thirst of a small third world nation.
“I had like two beers there-”
“You had like five.” Jared interjects.
“Bullshit, I totally didn’t!”
“Jensen, you had like five Coronas and a shot of vodka with something pink in it. Kayla had to practically drag you out of there on her boobs -you were tripping everywhere!”
“Dude! Whatever! I was drunk, okay, I know that, hell, my head is telling me that I was right now, but then what happened?”
“I don’t know.” Jared mumbles. He looks away, starts biting at his thumbnail. “Somehow we came back here.”
“Well duh Mr. Obvious, but that doesn’t explain why the hell we’re waking up naked in the same bed!”
“Okay, in all seriousness, if you’re joking, PLEASE tell me now because I’m about to freak out.”
“And you don’t see that this is me freaking out?” Jensen sighs as he takes a seat back down on the bed. Jared sits beside him for a split second before awkwardly jumping back up, running his palm through his dark brown hair. Jensen unconsciously mimics this action, scratching at his short wheat-blond buzz cut.
“When did I get a hair cut?” he asks softly.
“Kayla. I think I remember her cutting your hair.”
“What? In a strip club?” Jensen grunts.
“No idiot. I think back here. I think I remember us all coming back here -you, me, Kayla, Mike and the twins.”
“What twins?” Jensen asks letting his obvious annoyance with Jared peek through in the exasperated tone of his voice.
“Oh yeah,” Jared states as if the night before is becoming clearer. “There were these twin stripers.”
“Let me guess, Candy and Kane?” Jensen sighs sarcastically.
“Yeah, funny.” Jared grunts. “I think their names were like Jasmine and Laura or something like that -NO, Jasmine and Lilly.”
“Okay, so we know the stripper’s names, now how the fuck did we wind up naked in the same freaking bed?”
“Lets see,” Jared mumbles as he begins pacing around the room dragging the sheet with him. He looks like Plato, Socrates, or one of those other guys from Greece who used to roam around the world in togas Jensen thinks to himself. “Mike was making out with one of the girls; Kayla the other and they all wanted to come back here.”
“I think I remember that…yeah…I remember Kayla saying she was in beauty school.” Jensen suddenly remembers through the fog in his head.
“Yeah, that’s right!” Jared smiles, snapping his fingers and pointing at him. “And then she said we needed haircuts and you volunteered.”
“And then I remember going out into the living room. You were playing a video game. Mike was in the bathroom with one of those stripper girls, right?”
“Yeah, and then they left to go back to his place after a while.”
“And Kayla and her stripper arm candy went too.” Jensen continued.
“And then it was just you and me here.” Jared’s voice softens; his face darkens because now he can remember something that he’s going to pretend that he doesn’t.
“And you went into the mini bar.”
“Yeah, because YOU wanted a drink.” Jared grunts, scratches at his head and tries to hide what else he remembers because he’s not sure if it’s real or just some twisted little dream that he’s had. “And I can’t remember anything after that.”
“Well try.”
“I am, and I can’t! I remember drinking -a lot, and that’s it. You don’t remember anything?”
“No, if I did I-" Jensen’s words get stuck in his throat as he looks over on the night stand. His heart stops beating. “How does your ass feel?”
“What?” Jared almost laughs.
“Your ass, is it like...sore?” Jensen can feel his ears burning as he says this. He can’t believe that he’s actually saying this.
“I don’t know? I guess so…maybe...”
“Me too…like really sore…” Jensen trails off picking the empty condom wrapper up from the night stand, his eyes as wide as a river's swell.
Jared stands in shock, his mouth gaping open. When he watches as Jensen reaches under a pillow only to pull out four sticky and very used condoms, he swears he’s going to pass out.
The look on Jensen’s face mirrors his own. They’re both confused -no, scratch that. Confusion is an emotion that can be soothed with an answer because more times than not, an answer can be found right around the corner. This feeling that they’re experiencing is like some weird unexplained, unanswerable and indefinable emotion. It’s a sensation of baffled mystification; a problematic problem which just translates to being totally fucked up -like totally fucked up.
“Dude…” Jared whispers, “did we like…do….stuff?” His voice suddenly sounds childlike and all Jensen can do is nod his head and look away.
“I think so…”
“Oh man, oh man.”
“This totally screws up my day.” Jensen grunts. He looks up at Jared, Jared looks back and their eyes meet uncomfortably. Jensen thinks he knows Jared well enough to know that he wants to talk about other possibilities, try to dig deeper to explore any and everything that could have happened. His mother is a teacher after all and Jared grew up with the mentality that you could never learn too much, never no matter how much you may not want to.
However, Jared knows Jensen well enough to know that Jensen doesn’t want to do any of that. Jensen would prefer to just let it go, bury whatever it is; file it under ‘things we pretend never happened just so we don’t go crazy or feel crazy around each other’ and holy hell, right now Jared will do just that because he can’t find it himself to break it to Jensen that his ass really isn’t sore at all.
In fact, it’s his dick that feels a little raw, his ass is fine and if his memory serves him correct, he’s sure Jensen’s feeling a little bit more than “just sore”.
/FIN
Complete Fiction List fic updates
maddys_slash