FIC: "Glitter Boy Machines" 9/10 [R]
Title: Glitter Boy Machines 9 / 10 [ R]
Author: apostrophee archived @ maddys_slash
Edited by nemesina77
Word Count:3,045; 28,543
Pairing: Jared/ Jensen (Ages 17 & 21)
Summary: Just another boring, hot Texas summer for closeted Jared Padalecki. Not if his cousin Dinah can help it. Love is amusement parks.
Genre: Humor / Romance / The big gay teenage *flail*/ Schmoop.
Disclaimer: THIS IS ALL FICTION! THIS NEVER HAPPENED!!! I SWEAR IT ON ALL THE PICCADILLY RENTBOYS!
Rating/ Warning:NC-17 [overall R] Sexual contact between 17-year-old Jared and 21-year-old Jensen.
AN: I wanted to write a story about gay!teenage Jared *flailing* about being gay, and I always had this thought that what if Jared and Jensen met before Supernatural started filming, only they couldn’t, or wouldn't, talk about how because of the circumstances they met under (:cough: gay club :cough:). This would be my version of how. I mean come on, HOW many mutual friends do those boys have and yet, never met until Supernatural? Yes, I can imagine any scenario!
Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter |Three | Chapter Five | (Chapter Six | Chapter Seven| Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine: Clouds And Other Things That We Can’t Touch
When Jared wakes it’s to an empty bed and, for a few moments, he forgets where he is and he wonders why the sheets are green. Jared doesn’t own green sheets and he certainly doesn’t own a black leather jacket or the blue swivel office chair that it’s thrown across. Then he feels a warm body slink back into bed with him and arms wrap around his waist, strong arms that hold him close. He hears the rattle of the rickety air-conditioner and smells old Chinese food, and yeah, he remembers.
“Afternoon sleepyhead,” Jensen says, breath smelling like Shrimp Egg Foo Young.
“Did you save me any?” Jared yawns and he kind of wants to throw up, because smelling Egg Foo Young first thing after waking up from a nap isn’t really romantic or awesome.
“There’s a little left in the microwave if you want it.”
“What time is it?” Jared shifts, turns on his side and smiles.
“Almost four.”
“Really? God, I feel so tired,” he says as he stretches out his long limbs.
Jensen wiggles his eyes suggestively. “We were kind of up late last night,” he says, then grins. “Really late.” Jared feels his face grow warm and he blushes, ducking his head under the sheets, trying to hide his face.
“Gosh, shut up!” He says with an amused smirk.
“So,” Jensen starts, stretching across the bed on his side, resting his head in his hand to look at Jared. “What are we doing today?”
Jared peeks up from the sheets and takes in the sight, takes in the way that the sunlight filters in through cracked slits in the blinds catching in the green of Jensen’s eyes; the white t-shirt that clings to his broad chest, the wrinkled blue cotton shorts and goddamn it, Jensen looks utterly adorable.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I just thought we could, like, go and do something. You can show me around town. I’ve only been to San Antonio twice and both times it was only for a day, but we’ve got a whole week ahead of us and I want to see stuff.”
“Around town?” Jared swallows something thick and it feels like his throat is closing up. “You want to like, leave the house?”
“Well yeah idiot. We can’t stay in here all weekend.”
***
It takes Dinah close to fifteen minutes before she can stop flailing around the living room like a chicken with its head cut off. She takes a calming breath, sits down on the couch and tries in vain to form a coherent thought. And okay, she doesn’t really have one. And okay, she’s talking to herself now and the whole ‘talking to oneself’ thing isn’t really freaking her out, but the whole ‘answering oneself back’ thing really starts to make her think that maybe she might be losing her mind. Losing her mind or something else like her -wait, no, that’s it, no other options: she must be losing her half Polish, one part German, one part Italian mind because she’s watching Jared’s ‘special male friend’ -the gay one- the one from Dallas of all places, the one who most fucking likely dines on the faces of small children, on television, like, right now. Like right-fucking-now he’s on television because he’s an actor and thank God for VCR’s because there’s no mistaking that, that guy, that Eric something or other is Jensen, JENSEN FUCKING -what the hell is his last name again? Ackerman -no, that’s not right. It’s Ackles! JENSEN FUCKING ACKLES!
She’s going crazy, absolutely fucking, and dreadfully awfully crazy. Her marbles? Gone. All of those mother fuckers have slipped underneath her mother’s Davenport because Jensen Ackles, the pre-school teacher’s assistant from Dallas, Texas is on television. Jensen Ackles is an actor. An actor.
And a goddamn liar.
There aren’t too many things in the world that gets underneath Dinah Rosemary Padalecki’s skin. Sure, car insurance annoys her because really, good drivers don’t need it and why the hell does it have to cost so much? Cacti annoys her because, well who wouldn’t be annoyed by cacti? But the thing about those things is that they really don’t bother her too much, not enough to lose sleep over.
Liars on the other hand? Now liars get underneath her skin. Liars infuriate her because you can never trust one, never. How do you know when they’re telling the truth? You can’t, because the job of a liar is to tell lies. Honesty is something Dinah likes to pride herself on and she doesn’t really understand how some people don’t. She doesn’t see the he need for lies. Sure, exaggeration is pretty understandable, but to lie? To outright conceal your true identity like Jensen has pisses her off, but even more so than that, it creeps her the fuck out.
If Jensen lied about being an actor, and one that’s probably pretty famous because he’s on a soap opera for Pete’s sake, then what else could he have lied about? Is he even twenty-one? Is he even really from Texas? Does he have some sick, itchy, blistery disease that he could have potentially given to her baby cousin?
Jared…
Dinah’s stomach clenches when she finally thinks of Jared, thinks of how he’s going to feel when he finds out that Jensen’s been lying to him. Not that Jared would have any right to cast the first stone because the last time Dinah checked, she was sure Jared was still on that whole ‘I’m really eighteen and not seventeen’ kick. It’s just now, for the first time, she’s starting to think that Jared’s age is going to be what hurts him most. He’s so young, so inexperienced and easily influenced. Why did she encourage him to lie in the first place? This is all her fault; Jared’s inevitable broken heart is going to be all her fault. He’s still a baby and she knows as book smart as he may be, he’s also very naïve and a fear settles inside the pit of Dinah’s stomach as she thinks about what the ramifications of all of these lies are going to lead up to.
A part of her feels bad for Jensen. While he probably does eat the faces of small children, he doesn’t strike her as someone who would knowingly date an underage guy, no matter how adorable she knows that Jared is, and maybe, somehow this really is all her fault. If only she wouldn’t have pushed Jared toward Jensen, it was just Jensen was so cute and had that nice smile and he was kind of quiet and calm whereas Jared is always so damn easily excited, and about as animated as a cartoon. They seemed like a good fit for each other. But Jared is seventeen and Jensen is a liar and this whole mess of a situation makes Dinah want to pop open her mother’s liquor cabinet and down a bottle of Russia’s finest vodka.
If she didn’t have to drive ten miles across town to beat Jensen’s face in with her fists then she would totally spend the rest of the day getting hammered.
***
Jared keeps his head down, avoiding making eye contact with just about any and everyone at that mall. San Antonio has three malls and you’d think that Jensen would want to see the big one, the best mall, the one with the goddamn Ferris wheel, the one where they could easily just blend in with the crowd. The one that none of the kids from his high school go to because it’s so far out on the highway, but no Jensen wanted to go to the fucking one down near Riverside, the one where all the kids from his school hang out and he insisted on going into the fucking GAP where Reginald ‘Reggie’ Jacobs works.
“What do you think about this one?” Jensen asks holding up a bright red t-shirt.
“It’s nice.”
“Oh, what about this one?”
“That looks like a girl’s shirt.” Jared muses eying the thin, blue tank top suspiciously. “Is that lace?”
“In case you didn’t know this is the girls’ section and we are supposed to be looking for something to get my kid sister, remember?”
“What?”
“You feeling okay?” Jensen’s jaw clenches, his face setting with concern.
“Yeah I’m just…jeez, can we leave here?” Jared looks toward the register, eyes wildly darting around the store. He swears that every tall, lanky blond in khakis with a crew cut is Reggie.
They were drunk when it happened. It’s really easy to blame any and all stupid things on the consumption of too much alcohol so that’s what Jared does. He blamed it on the Jack Daniels, and the stupid rain, and Reggie’s stupid smile, and dumb blue eyes and firm hand reaching inside of his wet Bermuda shorts on the last day of school. They never even kissed for Heaven’s sake, but they jerked each other off and damn it, Reggie was cute and funny and smart, but really not Jared’s type, if he had a type. Did he have a type? Is Jensen his type? And Jared had successfully spent most of the summer dodging Reggie’s phone calls and pretending not to be home whenever he would show up on his doorstep unannounced, even if he did have to bribe Megan with chocolate cake to keep her quiet. Would today be the day he would have to see him? Have to talk to him?
“I just…okay, there’s this guy I know who works here and I really, really don’t want to run into him.”
“What, is he like an ex or something?” Jensen teases and when Jared doesn’t reply Jensen laughs. “You’re kidding me? You have an ex that works at The Gap? How gay cliché!”
“Can we just go please?” Jared grumbles impatiently.
“Aww, poor baby all nervous about running into an old flame. Just be thankful I’m hot. That’ll really burn him, seeing you with pretty old me.”
Jared cracks a smile. “You are pretty,” he whispers, licks his lips. “Downright girlish.”
“Are you gonna kiss me now?” Jensen teases. Jared eyes open wide with alarm and when he begins to back away Jensen takes a step toward him, closing the gap that Jared is trying to create. “Relax, not gonna do it in public. I know Jare, I know.”
There’s a weird tension that begins to build, rising between them like bricks piled high as they make their way toward the men’s section. For the first time in hours Jared’s unsure of what to say and unsure of how he should act. He doesn’t want to do anything in public that he might regret, but Jensen’s being so quiet and he’s doing that funny thing with his mouth that he does when he’s anxious, or at least Jared thinks Jensen only does it when he’s anxious, but he can’t be too sure.
“Hey,” he says. “You mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad?” Jensen replies picking up a t-shirt only to drop it back down to the table unfolded.
“You seem…upset.”
“I’m not Jared, I’m not. It’s just…sometimes you remind me of him.”
“Who?”
“Austin...”
Jared’s stomach begins to twist as he tries to swallow down a lump in his throat. “Is that a bad thing?”
Jensen takes a deep breath. “Austin’s not out. He’s fucking twenty-eight and still a closet case. That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to break up with him. He wouldn’t hold my hand in public or look me in the eye or even stand close to me when we walked down the street. It was like he was embarrassed to be seen with me and just now, with you, the way you backed away from me, it felt like you were embarrassed to be seen with me too or something else like that.”
“I just…I don’t know how this all works. You’re the first guy I ever, ya know, and I don’t…I don’t know what to do and what not to do.”
Jensen looked up from the table of t-shirts and in the softest of voices spoke. “Do whatever feels right. Like right now, I want to kiss you.”
Taking a deep breath Jared took a step toward him. He wasn’t sure of what he was going to do, but he knew that he wanted to touch Jensen, wanted to hug him and kiss him, tell him that he was sorry, but instead he placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I’ll work on it.”
“Okay…” Jensen trailed off. “Okay,” he repeated as if he needed to convince himself that he believed Jared.
“OH MY GOD!” A woman’s screaming voice startled them. “ERIC BRADY?” She yelled, running over to Jensen. She was a small lady with hair too big for her face. She was a small lady with dark graying hair that was too big for her face. She was older, well into her fifties, with clothes that had been out of fashion since the year before Jared was born. He could tell that she was obviously someone’s mother because her pants just shrieked mom-jeans.
“Hi,” Jensen replied smoothly, sticking out his hand.
“OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! YOU’RE SO CUTE IN PERSON! LOOK AT THOSE EYES AND THAT SMILE! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!”
Jared stood beside Jensen, head tilted, mouth hanging open wondering who in the unholy hell was Eric Brady and why was Jensen suddenly acting like he was Clark Gable or Cary Grant.
“Thank you,” Jensen replied graciously.
“OH MY GOD IS ERIC GONNA WIND UP WITH NICOLE! NICOLE IS SUCH A BITCH; I CAN’T STAND HER FACE! I HOPE YOU STAY WITH GRETA BECAUSE SHE’S SUCH A DARLING LITTLE THING!”
“I’ll see what I can do, but it's really up to the writers.” Jensen glanced apologetically at Jared, guilt teetering along the edge of his smile. “What’s your name?”
“Oh,” the woman took a breath, pushed her bangs out of her eyes. “I’m Sylvia and it is SO nice to meet you Eric -I mean Jensen! Congratulations on the win by the way. You totally deserved it! You’ve come so far during the last two years! It’s been so amazing watching how much you’ve grown, progressed. My girlfriends and I were just talking about you - I mean Eric - the other day.”
“Okay, what’s going on?” Jared chimed in. “Who’s Eric?”
The woman looked at Jared as if he had three heads and before she could get another word out Jensen was tugging at the hem of his t-shirt and whispering apologies.
“I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything to you later."
***
Jared was surprised to find Dinah’s car parked in one of the parking spaces at the apartment complex. He was even more surprised to find her sitting on the steps, eyes red as if she'd been crying.
Jared jumped out of the car before Jensen could properly put it into park.
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” He stuttered rushing towards her.
“No! Jensen is a-”
“Everything okay?” Jensen asked, jogging to the steps.
“Why didn’t you tell us you’re an actor?” The tone of Dinah’s voice was calm, eerily calm.
“I know it was shitty and-”
“No, it wasn’t shitty. It was creepy, fucking creepy! What kind of games are you playing?” Dinah rose, fists balled. “What kind of sick fucking head trip are you trying to put my cousin through?”
Jared stood between them. “It’s okay Dinah, he told me about it. It’s okay.”
“When did he tell you and why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“He told me a few minutes ago, but it's okay Dinah.”
“I’m sorry,” Jensen exhaled. “I didn’t want him to know because I thought that he would look at me differently. I thought he would just see this actor and not me and I know it was shitty, but I wanted him to like me for me.” Jensen’s voice broke as he looked up at Jared, eyes pleading for him to accept this as truth and nothing less.
“Like you for you? What the fuck kind of girl bullshit is that to say? This is not Sweet Valley High and you can’t say stupid shit like that to make everything all better you fucking douche-bag! You fucking lied Jensen! You fucking lied!”
“I said I was sorry!” Jensen yelled back. “Jared knows I’m sorry!”
“Oh what does he know; he’s only fucking seventeen and he doesn’t need some grown-ass man tossing head tricks at him!”
Dinah froze as the realization of what she had just said dawned on her. By the look that Jensen gave Jared she knew that he had heard everything.
“What Jared?” Jensen took a step toward him. Jared turned away. “Are you…are you still seventeen?”
Jared’s face grew warmer and warmer until he started to feel as if he might suffocate from the heat.
“Yeah,” he choked out.
“So that birthday of yours last month…you only just turned seventeen?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you about to go to college?” Jensen asked, eyes narrowed like slits, mouth quirking in that way that Jared knows he only does when he’s angry, or at least he thinks Jensen only does it when he’s angry. He can’t be too sure.
“It’s my senior year.”
"High school? Great. Just fucking great."
Then the silence came, heavy and violent like a thunderstorm. Then there was Jensen walking by him, beyond him, out of reach, soundless, walking away, and getting into his car.
“I could fucking go to jail,” he grunted slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. “I fucking like you! Shit, I fucking like a goddamn kid! The things that we did...shit, shit, shit!” He breathed as if he were inhaling ice and exhaling fire.
Jared started towards the car, ready to chase after him, but the way that Jensen looked at him as if he never really knew him made Jared pause. Jensen threw the car into gear and just like that he was gone.
Jared’s shoulders slumped as he watched the first boy that ever made him want to act without thinking drive right out of his life.
TBC
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Author: apostrophee archived @ maddys_slash
Edited by nemesina77
Word Count:3,045; 28,543
Pairing: Jared/ Jensen (Ages 17 & 21)
Summary: Just another boring, hot Texas summer for closeted Jared Padalecki. Not if his cousin Dinah can help it. Love is amusement parks.
Genre: Humor / Romance / The big gay teenage *flail*/ Schmoop.
Disclaimer: THIS IS ALL FICTION! THIS NEVER HAPPENED!!! I SWEAR IT ON ALL THE PICCADILLY RENTBOYS!
Rating/ Warning:NC-17 [overall R] Sexual contact between 17-year-old Jared and 21-year-old Jensen.
AN: I wanted to write a story about gay!teenage Jared *flailing* about being gay, and I always had this thought that what if Jared and Jensen met before Supernatural started filming, only they couldn’t, or wouldn't, talk about how because of the circumstances they met under (:cough: gay club :cough:). This would be my version of how. I mean come on, HOW many mutual friends do those boys have and yet, never met until Supernatural? Yes, I can imagine any scenario!
Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter |Three | Chapter Five | (Chapter Six | Chapter Seven| Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine: Clouds And Other Things That We Can’t Touch
When Jared wakes it’s to an empty bed and, for a few moments, he forgets where he is and he wonders why the sheets are green. Jared doesn’t own green sheets and he certainly doesn’t own a black leather jacket or the blue swivel office chair that it’s thrown across. Then he feels a warm body slink back into bed with him and arms wrap around his waist, strong arms that hold him close. He hears the rattle of the rickety air-conditioner and smells old Chinese food, and yeah, he remembers.
“Afternoon sleepyhead,” Jensen says, breath smelling like Shrimp Egg Foo Young.
“Did you save me any?” Jared yawns and he kind of wants to throw up, because smelling Egg Foo Young first thing after waking up from a nap isn’t really romantic or awesome.
“There’s a little left in the microwave if you want it.”
“What time is it?” Jared shifts, turns on his side and smiles.
“Almost four.”
“Really? God, I feel so tired,” he says as he stretches out his long limbs.
Jensen wiggles his eyes suggestively. “We were kind of up late last night,” he says, then grins. “Really late.” Jared feels his face grow warm and he blushes, ducking his head under the sheets, trying to hide his face.
“Gosh, shut up!” He says with an amused smirk.
“So,” Jensen starts, stretching across the bed on his side, resting his head in his hand to look at Jared. “What are we doing today?”
Jared peeks up from the sheets and takes in the sight, takes in the way that the sunlight filters in through cracked slits in the blinds catching in the green of Jensen’s eyes; the white t-shirt that clings to his broad chest, the wrinkled blue cotton shorts and goddamn it, Jensen looks utterly adorable.
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know. I just thought we could, like, go and do something. You can show me around town. I’ve only been to San Antonio twice and both times it was only for a day, but we’ve got a whole week ahead of us and I want to see stuff.”
“Around town?” Jared swallows something thick and it feels like his throat is closing up. “You want to like, leave the house?”
“Well yeah idiot. We can’t stay in here all weekend.”
***
It takes Dinah close to fifteen minutes before she can stop flailing around the living room like a chicken with its head cut off. She takes a calming breath, sits down on the couch and tries in vain to form a coherent thought. And okay, she doesn’t really have one. And okay, she’s talking to herself now and the whole ‘talking to oneself’ thing isn’t really freaking her out, but the whole ‘answering oneself back’ thing really starts to make her think that maybe she might be losing her mind. Losing her mind or something else like her -wait, no, that’s it, no other options: she must be losing her half Polish, one part German, one part Italian mind because she’s watching Jared’s ‘special male friend’ -the gay one- the one from Dallas of all places, the one who most fucking likely dines on the faces of small children, on television, like, right now. Like right-fucking-now he’s on television because he’s an actor and thank God for VCR’s because there’s no mistaking that, that guy, that Eric something or other is Jensen, JENSEN FUCKING -what the hell is his last name again? Ackerman -no, that’s not right. It’s Ackles! JENSEN FUCKING ACKLES!
She’s going crazy, absolutely fucking, and dreadfully awfully crazy. Her marbles? Gone. All of those mother fuckers have slipped underneath her mother’s Davenport because Jensen Ackles, the pre-school teacher’s assistant from Dallas, Texas is on television. Jensen Ackles is an actor. An actor.
And a goddamn liar.
There aren’t too many things in the world that gets underneath Dinah Rosemary Padalecki’s skin. Sure, car insurance annoys her because really, good drivers don’t need it and why the hell does it have to cost so much? Cacti annoys her because, well who wouldn’t be annoyed by cacti? But the thing about those things is that they really don’t bother her too much, not enough to lose sleep over.
Liars on the other hand? Now liars get underneath her skin. Liars infuriate her because you can never trust one, never. How do you know when they’re telling the truth? You can’t, because the job of a liar is to tell lies. Honesty is something Dinah likes to pride herself on and she doesn’t really understand how some people don’t. She doesn’t see the he need for lies. Sure, exaggeration is pretty understandable, but to lie? To outright conceal your true identity like Jensen has pisses her off, but even more so than that, it creeps her the fuck out.
If Jensen lied about being an actor, and one that’s probably pretty famous because he’s on a soap opera for Pete’s sake, then what else could he have lied about? Is he even twenty-one? Is he even really from Texas? Does he have some sick, itchy, blistery disease that he could have potentially given to her baby cousin?
Jared…
Dinah’s stomach clenches when she finally thinks of Jared, thinks of how he’s going to feel when he finds out that Jensen’s been lying to him. Not that Jared would have any right to cast the first stone because the last time Dinah checked, she was sure Jared was still on that whole ‘I’m really eighteen and not seventeen’ kick. It’s just now, for the first time, she’s starting to think that Jared’s age is going to be what hurts him most. He’s so young, so inexperienced and easily influenced. Why did she encourage him to lie in the first place? This is all her fault; Jared’s inevitable broken heart is going to be all her fault. He’s still a baby and she knows as book smart as he may be, he’s also very naïve and a fear settles inside the pit of Dinah’s stomach as she thinks about what the ramifications of all of these lies are going to lead up to.
A part of her feels bad for Jensen. While he probably does eat the faces of small children, he doesn’t strike her as someone who would knowingly date an underage guy, no matter how adorable she knows that Jared is, and maybe, somehow this really is all her fault. If only she wouldn’t have pushed Jared toward Jensen, it was just Jensen was so cute and had that nice smile and he was kind of quiet and calm whereas Jared is always so damn easily excited, and about as animated as a cartoon. They seemed like a good fit for each other. But Jared is seventeen and Jensen is a liar and this whole mess of a situation makes Dinah want to pop open her mother’s liquor cabinet and down a bottle of Russia’s finest vodka.
If she didn’t have to drive ten miles across town to beat Jensen’s face in with her fists then she would totally spend the rest of the day getting hammered.
***
Jared keeps his head down, avoiding making eye contact with just about any and everyone at that mall. San Antonio has three malls and you’d think that Jensen would want to see the big one, the best mall, the one with the goddamn Ferris wheel, the one where they could easily just blend in with the crowd. The one that none of the kids from his high school go to because it’s so far out on the highway, but no Jensen wanted to go to the fucking one down near Riverside, the one where all the kids from his school hang out and he insisted on going into the fucking GAP where Reginald ‘Reggie’ Jacobs works.
“What do you think about this one?” Jensen asks holding up a bright red t-shirt.
“It’s nice.”
“Oh, what about this one?”
“That looks like a girl’s shirt.” Jared muses eying the thin, blue tank top suspiciously. “Is that lace?”
“In case you didn’t know this is the girls’ section and we are supposed to be looking for something to get my kid sister, remember?”
“What?”
“You feeling okay?” Jensen’s jaw clenches, his face setting with concern.
“Yeah I’m just…jeez, can we leave here?” Jared looks toward the register, eyes wildly darting around the store. He swears that every tall, lanky blond in khakis with a crew cut is Reggie.
They were drunk when it happened. It’s really easy to blame any and all stupid things on the consumption of too much alcohol so that’s what Jared does. He blamed it on the Jack Daniels, and the stupid rain, and Reggie’s stupid smile, and dumb blue eyes and firm hand reaching inside of his wet Bermuda shorts on the last day of school. They never even kissed for Heaven’s sake, but they jerked each other off and damn it, Reggie was cute and funny and smart, but really not Jared’s type, if he had a type. Did he have a type? Is Jensen his type? And Jared had successfully spent most of the summer dodging Reggie’s phone calls and pretending not to be home whenever he would show up on his doorstep unannounced, even if he did have to bribe Megan with chocolate cake to keep her quiet. Would today be the day he would have to see him? Have to talk to him?
“I just…okay, there’s this guy I know who works here and I really, really don’t want to run into him.”
“What, is he like an ex or something?” Jensen teases and when Jared doesn’t reply Jensen laughs. “You’re kidding me? You have an ex that works at The Gap? How gay cliché!”
“Can we just go please?” Jared grumbles impatiently.
“Aww, poor baby all nervous about running into an old flame. Just be thankful I’m hot. That’ll really burn him, seeing you with pretty old me.”
Jared cracks a smile. “You are pretty,” he whispers, licks his lips. “Downright girlish.”
“Are you gonna kiss me now?” Jensen teases. Jared eyes open wide with alarm and when he begins to back away Jensen takes a step toward him, closing the gap that Jared is trying to create. “Relax, not gonna do it in public. I know Jare, I know.”
There’s a weird tension that begins to build, rising between them like bricks piled high as they make their way toward the men’s section. For the first time in hours Jared’s unsure of what to say and unsure of how he should act. He doesn’t want to do anything in public that he might regret, but Jensen’s being so quiet and he’s doing that funny thing with his mouth that he does when he’s anxious, or at least Jared thinks Jensen only does it when he’s anxious, but he can’t be too sure.
“Hey,” he says. “You mad at me?”
“Why would I be mad?” Jensen replies picking up a t-shirt only to drop it back down to the table unfolded.
“You seem…upset.”
“I’m not Jared, I’m not. It’s just…sometimes you remind me of him.”
“Who?”
“Austin...”
Jared’s stomach begins to twist as he tries to swallow down a lump in his throat. “Is that a bad thing?”
Jensen takes a deep breath. “Austin’s not out. He’s fucking twenty-eight and still a closet case. That’s one of the reasons why I wanted to break up with him. He wouldn’t hold my hand in public or look me in the eye or even stand close to me when we walked down the street. It was like he was embarrassed to be seen with me and just now, with you, the way you backed away from me, it felt like you were embarrassed to be seen with me too or something else like that.”
“I just…I don’t know how this all works. You’re the first guy I ever, ya know, and I don’t…I don’t know what to do and what not to do.”
Jensen looked up from the table of t-shirts and in the softest of voices spoke. “Do whatever feels right. Like right now, I want to kiss you.”
Taking a deep breath Jared took a step toward him. He wasn’t sure of what he was going to do, but he knew that he wanted to touch Jensen, wanted to hug him and kiss him, tell him that he was sorry, but instead he placed a hand on his shoulder.
“I’ll work on it.”
“Okay…” Jensen trailed off. “Okay,” he repeated as if he needed to convince himself that he believed Jared.
“OH MY GOD!” A woman’s screaming voice startled them. “ERIC BRADY?” She yelled, running over to Jensen. She was a small lady with hair too big for her face. She was a small lady with dark graying hair that was too big for her face. She was older, well into her fifties, with clothes that had been out of fashion since the year before Jared was born. He could tell that she was obviously someone’s mother because her pants just shrieked mom-jeans.
“Hi,” Jensen replied smoothly, sticking out his hand.
“OH MY GOD I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU! YOU’RE SO CUTE IN PERSON! LOOK AT THOSE EYES AND THAT SMILE! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!”
Jared stood beside Jensen, head tilted, mouth hanging open wondering who in the unholy hell was Eric Brady and why was Jensen suddenly acting like he was Clark Gable or Cary Grant.
“Thank you,” Jensen replied graciously.
“OH MY GOD IS ERIC GONNA WIND UP WITH NICOLE! NICOLE IS SUCH A BITCH; I CAN’T STAND HER FACE! I HOPE YOU STAY WITH GRETA BECAUSE SHE’S SUCH A DARLING LITTLE THING!”
“I’ll see what I can do, but it's really up to the writers.” Jensen glanced apologetically at Jared, guilt teetering along the edge of his smile. “What’s your name?”
“Oh,” the woman took a breath, pushed her bangs out of her eyes. “I’m Sylvia and it is SO nice to meet you Eric -I mean Jensen! Congratulations on the win by the way. You totally deserved it! You’ve come so far during the last two years! It’s been so amazing watching how much you’ve grown, progressed. My girlfriends and I were just talking about you - I mean Eric - the other day.”
“Okay, what’s going on?” Jared chimed in. “Who’s Eric?”
The woman looked at Jared as if he had three heads and before she could get another word out Jensen was tugging at the hem of his t-shirt and whispering apologies.
“I’m sorry. I’ll explain everything to you later."
***
Jared was surprised to find Dinah’s car parked in one of the parking spaces at the apartment complex. He was even more surprised to find her sitting on the steps, eyes red as if she'd been crying.
Jared jumped out of the car before Jensen could properly put it into park.
“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?” He stuttered rushing towards her.
“No! Jensen is a-”
“Everything okay?” Jensen asked, jogging to the steps.
“Why didn’t you tell us you’re an actor?” The tone of Dinah’s voice was calm, eerily calm.
“I know it was shitty and-”
“No, it wasn’t shitty. It was creepy, fucking creepy! What kind of games are you playing?” Dinah rose, fists balled. “What kind of sick fucking head trip are you trying to put my cousin through?”
Jared stood between them. “It’s okay Dinah, he told me about it. It’s okay.”
“When did he tell you and why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“He told me a few minutes ago, but it's okay Dinah.”
“I’m sorry,” Jensen exhaled. “I didn’t want him to know because I thought that he would look at me differently. I thought he would just see this actor and not me and I know it was shitty, but I wanted him to like me for me.” Jensen’s voice broke as he looked up at Jared, eyes pleading for him to accept this as truth and nothing less.
“Like you for you? What the fuck kind of girl bullshit is that to say? This is not Sweet Valley High and you can’t say stupid shit like that to make everything all better you fucking douche-bag! You fucking lied Jensen! You fucking lied!”
“I said I was sorry!” Jensen yelled back. “Jared knows I’m sorry!”
“Oh what does he know; he’s only fucking seventeen and he doesn’t need some grown-ass man tossing head tricks at him!”
Dinah froze as the realization of what she had just said dawned on her. By the look that Jensen gave Jared she knew that he had heard everything.
“What Jared?” Jensen took a step toward him. Jared turned away. “Are you…are you still seventeen?”
Jared’s face grew warmer and warmer until he started to feel as if he might suffocate from the heat.
“Yeah,” he choked out.
“So that birthday of yours last month…you only just turned seventeen?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you about to go to college?” Jensen asked, eyes narrowed like slits, mouth quirking in that way that Jared knows he only does when he’s angry, or at least he thinks Jensen only does it when he’s angry. He can’t be too sure.
“It’s my senior year.”
"High school? Great. Just fucking great."
Then the silence came, heavy and violent like a thunderstorm. Then there was Jensen walking by him, beyond him, out of reach, soundless, walking away, and getting into his car.
“I could fucking go to jail,” he grunted slamming his hands down on the steering wheel. “I fucking like you! Shit, I fucking like a goddamn kid! The things that we did...shit, shit, shit!” He breathed as if he were inhaling ice and exhaling fire.
Jared started towards the car, ready to chase after him, but the way that Jensen looked at him as if he never really knew him made Jared pause. Jensen threw the car into gear and just like that he was gone.
Jared’s shoulders slumped as he watched the first boy that ever made him want to act without thinking drive right out of his life.
TBC
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