a confession

[maddyjune]

i would never act on this but....

sometimes i wonder if i have schizoaffective disorder at all or if it was just a hormone imbalance of some sort that i have treated by changing birth controls. and i think that perhaps i don't need my meds and life would be better without them.

it's not worth the risk, but sometimes i wonder.

Comments

[jdtnirvana]

is there any way you could safely do this? Like, talk to your doctor about it and follow a very set plan and trim back the drugs to see if there's any issue? The one problem I totally see is 1. you would need a really stable environment with safety and stability, and 2. you ummm, are moving across the US soon-ish (no?) and therefore your life will be a lil lacking in the safety/stability area.

I mean, I *get* that one of the issues is that people get on drugs, the drugs stabilize them and then they think they don't have a problem, get off the drugs, have the issues, etc etc, creating a really terrible never-ending circle... but I don't know. I've sort of wondered if you were really great at keeping that stuff hidden or what, cuz I just have never noticed anything, and when we did our psych interviews, both of the patients were doing REALLY well, all things considered, but never anywhere near as good as you seem to be doing.

I mean, I would never recommend acting on that alone, but is that something you can discuss and maybe consider in the future?