whoa hey who turned on my biological clock?!
i went to visit my cousins today. anthony, who is 2 and has autism, and alex, who is 5 months and is adorably fat (20lbs). they are soooo cute. I got to hold alex a lot because my grandma can't pick him up cuz he's so huge. he was fussy and i managed to calm him down and then he fell asleep in my arms. i am totally afraid of babies cuz i feel like i'm gonna break them or something and i don't know how to make them happy or hold them right. but today was so cool, he was really fun to hold. i feel suddenly more capable of having children, and excited about it. don't worry, i'm not getting knocked up any time soon. but in a few years when i do, well, i'm just excited about that.