(no subject)
in one week i will be taking the nationwide test for pharmacy technicians. if i pass i get a CPhT after my name. i don't think i am quite prepared enough and i kinda doubt i will even pass. i don't know. i mean i know i am smart and i succeed at pretty much everything i try for, but maybe i haven't tried hard enough this time? i'm nervous.
so i have to pass that test because next summer i will be moving to somewhere. who knows where, but probably not even in california, which is the only place i am certified now. i am actually excited about moving, kinda thinking of it as an adventure. sounds fun until i realize it means i have to pass this test, i have to quit my great job, i have to find a new job, i have to make new friends, etc.
um so marriage. thinking about it a lot. we are half finished with our "1001 questions to ask before you get married" book. it hurts my feelings a little that paul is still not certain he wants to marry me. i am trying not to get crazy about it until after christmas. this will give him time to talk in person with his parents about it, and i think that is reasonable. but still sometimes when we say our "i love you"s i can't help but feel he doesn't love me the way i love him. he has said we are on the right track and i honestly think he will propose to me in the spring...i just wish that was good enough for me. i don't know, i kinda want to be married when we move but i guess we won't be. there will be no time to plan a wedding, especially with paul busy with finishing up school. it would be unfair to him to distract him with wedding plans when he is in the final stretch of his PhD.
um, what else to update about.... oh i think i might have diabetes. i keep having hypoglycemia where i need sugar right away and i feel like i'm going to pass out and my vision gets all messed up. it makes it really hard to work when it happens. i try to keep sugary candy on hand so i can stop it but that can't be healthy. i have a doc appt in january but perhaps i should consider moving it up. oh yea and zyprexa is infamous for causing diabetes and i swore it would never happen to me because it didn't cause me to gain weight, but i guess that doesn't matter. oh and speaking of weight, i am still at my dream weight. when i started losing weight i picked a goal weight where i would be satisfied and a dream weight that seemed unrealistic but would be ideal for me. so that is what i weight now. yay. i feel really healthy, except i am eating way too much junk food. i just crave the sugar. hmm.
ok enough stalling and back to studying.
so i have to pass that test because next summer i will be moving to somewhere. who knows where, but probably not even in california, which is the only place i am certified now. i am actually excited about moving, kinda thinking of it as an adventure. sounds fun until i realize it means i have to pass this test, i have to quit my great job, i have to find a new job, i have to make new friends, etc.
um so marriage. thinking about it a lot. we are half finished with our "1001 questions to ask before you get married" book. it hurts my feelings a little that paul is still not certain he wants to marry me. i am trying not to get crazy about it until after christmas. this will give him time to talk in person with his parents about it, and i think that is reasonable. but still sometimes when we say our "i love you"s i can't help but feel he doesn't love me the way i love him. he has said we are on the right track and i honestly think he will propose to me in the spring...i just wish that was good enough for me. i don't know, i kinda want to be married when we move but i guess we won't be. there will be no time to plan a wedding, especially with paul busy with finishing up school. it would be unfair to him to distract him with wedding plans when he is in the final stretch of his PhD.
um, what else to update about.... oh i think i might have diabetes. i keep having hypoglycemia where i need sugar right away and i feel like i'm going to pass out and my vision gets all messed up. it makes it really hard to work when it happens. i try to keep sugary candy on hand so i can stop it but that can't be healthy. i have a doc appt in january but perhaps i should consider moving it up. oh yea and zyprexa is infamous for causing diabetes and i swore it would never happen to me because it didn't cause me to gain weight, but i guess that doesn't matter. oh and speaking of weight, i am still at my dream weight. when i started losing weight i picked a goal weight where i would be satisfied and a dream weight that seemed unrealistic but would be ideal for me. so that is what i weight now. yay. i feel really healthy, except i am eating way too much junk food. i just crave the sugar. hmm.
ok enough stalling and back to studying.