The "List"
She sat down and added to her list.
Freedoms Then:
I did always feel that I needed permission to do things from him, though not necessarily true, it’s as if I felt I needed his approval. It’s odd, because I never did do well with authority figures… maybe I just wanted to feel like I had an actual friend and father in my life.
He judged my actions and from his judgments I changed my actions. There are some things I regret doing, but all of them had an ultimate purpose. The destruction of Izuzu was probably my biggest mistake and the one he judged me for the most. I don’t think he understood though… He had never been forced to face such a decision.
He never let me go alone anywhere or with anyone if he could help it, though I rebelled against him but felt guilty for doing so.
He wished for me to seek out a Covenant. In the end I choose the Ordo, I’m still uncertain how much of the decision weighed upon his judgment of me. Sometimes I think I would have done better to remain Unaligned.
Freedoms Now:
Although my Childe, Broodmate, and Grandsire have taken to keeping an annoying close eye on me, I still feel as though I have more time to do my own thing. They can watch me for only so long before I’m able to take off on my own.
I am able to go where I want, when I want without having to worry about leaving him unprotected. This has allowed me a greater network of alliances and the ability to obtain rare and important information.
I can focus on my studies without anyone questioning them. Donovan was not my official mentor but I went to him for guidance. My actual mentor is silent unless I contact him.
Changes in the City Politics:
There really appears to be no actual leader now. Yes, we have titles, but no one is effectively leading. I'm not positive, but I think eventually, due to his love of the city, Donovan would have taken on an active, leadership role by now. In fact, when Kaoniki was Prince, I had many people from inside and outside the city saying he was the only other Kindred in Providence they would trust in the position.
The Ordo and Mekhet still hold their rank, though their influence is less. I believe most view me as a Shadow first and an Ordo as an afterthought. Donovan, on the other hand, was clearly loyal to both his Clan and Covenant and had the social skill necessary for proper court negotiations. The addition of Pax may save the Ordo.
Asante has sworn to return as much as possible because he does not want to lose anymore of his family members. He is largely absent from court and with his presence, politics could continue to lean towards the Mekhet and maybe shift towars the LS.
Changes for Myself:
I gained a Regency and the title of Mekhet Priscus after he died. That, accompanied with the title of Sheriff has raised my “esteem” in the eyes of most of the citizens of the city. I say most, because I still remain secretive and not many know what I actual do for this City.
I cared little about politics before Donovan passed, now, acting for my family I have to go out of my way to learn the latest political trends and scandals. I was surprised how easy this type of information was to obtain.
I’ve finally started the Shadow Market which Donovan seemed to question the most. Though, slow to take off, I think the information we share with each other will benefit our Clan and let us rise above our piers.
She smiled once she was done. Christine had been right, it helped a lot to see these differences. She frowned as she read over the list and part of her came to the realization that Donovan, through fear of losing her perhaps, had been holding her back.