Why did it have to be fire?
My Dearest,
Fire. Why did it have to be fire? I hate fire with a passion. My Sire’s “family” used to torture me with it. Don’t worry, they’re gone now and hopefully they stay gone.
My face is scared and feeding is difficult. I’ve taken to wearing his cloak and mask. Just in case I slip up and someone sees me. I look as though I should be dead. Well, more so than normal.
Funny, how that happens. I still don’t understand why he had them. But there they were, in his bag. My Sire, a Raza? I doubt it and I’m sure I would have found that one out. I think, maybe even, you would have told me. I think he was just cleaver… We can hide in the shadows and believe no one sees us, but if we go one step further and wear a disguise while in the shadows, then the chance of anyone guessing our identity is pretty slim.
You know, I thought of keeping the scars on my face. I thought, maybe it’d even the ground a little. But, I think not. The last scars I kept as a reminder of my over confidence and how it almost got me killed. These scars… well, what would they say? That I didn’t realize a large humvee was going to crash through Elysium and blow up? That’s not really a lesson. I know I would have died if Gustav didn’t realize I was stunned at the events and dragged me out of there. I’d be ash right now.
So, I’m not going to keep them. Besides, you always seemed to think I was beautiful. I think you were a bit biased. I’m not hideous but I defiantly don’t compare to the other Kindred of Providence. It’s as if their Sire’s went out of their way to find beauties to embrace. I don’t envy them, I’d much rather stick to the sidelines than be noticed. It makes knowing things a lot easier.
I know you stood apart from society. Part of me wishes I had continued down that road myself. It’d make me not care about this change. We are creatures of habit, aren’t we? More so than humans. We have an Invictus Prince now that has already went back on two of his words. It upsets me that he’d allow members of his Covenant to come into the City and bring down a guest of our city. It not only shows pettiness and cowardliness in the Invictus for doing something like that in someone else’s city but it’s very clear to me who really runs Providence.
I half wanted to go to you, so we could terrorize this City together. It’d be fun. I’m sure we’d both be dead in the end, but still, I think it’d be worth it. But, instead, I play the political game I never thought I’d get involved in. It’s dangerous, but I remain loyal to my city and will do what’s best for her. I bet I’m not the only one playing this game. At least there’s that.
Politically speaking, I was Unaligned for many years and had planned on staying that way. Then, the Covenants started to appear interseting. I almost joined the Carthians. It was very close but in the end, I choose the Ordo. Mainly because I saw the lack of structure within the Movement and knew I needed structure in my unlife. The Ordo have brought this to me. They’ve given me a purpose. I may never finish my great work, but I do focus on it. I can’t really tell you about it though. I think they’d kill me if I ever did. And because of that, I think you’ll understand this secret between us.
Stay True,
~Jane