(no subject)
I'm in an odd mood and must write it out. I've been home for 2 days now after 3 weeks away. And before that it was another 3 week gap. Things are different here, it's not the same. I don't know whats changed, is it the town or is it me? I think it's me.
they say home is where the heart is...but my heart is no longer here.
My heart is somewhere else. With my brothers, my roommates, my friends.
I severed ties from Autumn so my heart really isn't here anymore. I've let her go completely, I've got no emotions there other than anger and spite anymore.
I've come to terms with my singleness. I've only got about a year left here so there's no point in starting a relationship but still there's something missing...
I'd like one I really would. But I hate wasting time and I can have sex with other people, I have but it's missing something. There's no passion there, no fire, I don't even feel like trying half the time. But it ended with Autumn and I like that near the end where I just didn't want to try.
It was more for her satisfaction anyways.
but I dunno, I've definatley changed as a person. I can see it. I can FEEL it. As every year goes by I gain another wound, after ever wound I become that much more calloused, that much more bitter.
I'm starting not to care at all. I don't feel much of anything other than anger anymore. Things are just really weird now...
they say home is where the heart is...but my heart is no longer here.
My heart is somewhere else. With my brothers, my roommates, my friends.
I severed ties from Autumn so my heart really isn't here anymore. I've let her go completely, I've got no emotions there other than anger and spite anymore.
I've come to terms with my singleness. I've only got about a year left here so there's no point in starting a relationship but still there's something missing...
I'd like one I really would. But I hate wasting time and I can have sex with other people, I have but it's missing something. There's no passion there, no fire, I don't even feel like trying half the time. But it ended with Autumn and I like that near the end where I just didn't want to try.
It was more for her satisfaction anyways.
but I dunno, I've definatley changed as a person. I can see it. I can FEEL it. As every year goes by I gain another wound, after ever wound I become that much more calloused, that much more bitter.
I'm starting not to care at all. I don't feel much of anything other than anger anymore. Things are just really weird now...