I am exhausted
It began yesterday with some last minute Christmas shopping. Nothing destroys my Christmas spirit like shopping a couple of days before Christmas. I got a hot flash, and all my energy disappeared. J says we are not waiting until the last minute next time.
We had spent a pleasant day at home, J was off work yesterday. I innocently suggested I'd like to go by Goodwill for a new supply of books, and J said he needed a new watch, and dual layer dvds(?). And there's where the problem came in, we went by Wal Mart for the dvds and watch, and oh, yeah, we need a couple more gifts.
And we had to go by the grocery store too. And I *still* didn't get enough eggs, I had to go back today for more.
But that is because I have made two pecan pies, two buttermilk custards, a German Chocolate cake(all for Monday, J requested the cake), two chocolate cakes(gifts), and right now I'm making *another* - - and final - - batch of sugared pecans. And I have a huge pot of vegetable soup cooking.
J's been helping out, as he knows how I get during holiday cooking, especially with Mom either commenting, offering advice, asking dumb questions, or wanting another cup of Diet every couple of minutes.
And, my Aunt Pearl and cousin Maxine came by, and gave Mom the same robe we did for Christmas. I am *not* going back near a store before Christmas, so I'll exchange it next week - - *not* the day after Christmas, though.
Tomorrow, Mom has already informed me, I have to get up early for more pre-holiday cooking, as J and I will be going to his mom and dad's tomorrow night for Christmas.
I am so tired, my back is hurting again, and I have no will to do *anything*.
I dreamed about Ben last night - - he's really going to be missed at Christmas this year. I was so happy to see him - - in the dream, I could see him, but no one else could. We were having dinner - - me, mom, J, Robbie, and Chrisey. J was telling everyone about someone - - a doctor or someone at a hospital maybe - - being rude, or doing something wrong when I took Mom there, and I told him off. Ben told me he knew I would handle it right, or something like that. he had no patience for rude or incompetent doctors or nurses. But, it made me happy and sad at the same time. I woke up feeling so happy, having seen him, but sad that he's not here.
Anyway, I have 20 more minutes on the pecans, then I am turning off the soup and letting J put it away. I took a Xanax - - my first in *months* - - and I'm going to have a nice relaxing shower and go to bed.
We had spent a pleasant day at home, J was off work yesterday. I innocently suggested I'd like to go by Goodwill for a new supply of books, and J said he needed a new watch, and dual layer dvds(?). And there's where the problem came in, we went by Wal Mart for the dvds and watch, and oh, yeah, we need a couple more gifts.
And we had to go by the grocery store too. And I *still* didn't get enough eggs, I had to go back today for more.
But that is because I have made two pecan pies, two buttermilk custards, a German Chocolate cake(all for Monday, J requested the cake), two chocolate cakes(gifts), and right now I'm making *another* - - and final - - batch of sugared pecans. And I have a huge pot of vegetable soup cooking.
J's been helping out, as he knows how I get during holiday cooking, especially with Mom either commenting, offering advice, asking dumb questions, or wanting another cup of Diet every couple of minutes.
And, my Aunt Pearl and cousin Maxine came by, and gave Mom the same robe we did for Christmas. I am *not* going back near a store before Christmas, so I'll exchange it next week - - *not* the day after Christmas, though.
Tomorrow, Mom has already informed me, I have to get up early for more pre-holiday cooking, as J and I will be going to his mom and dad's tomorrow night for Christmas.
I am so tired, my back is hurting again, and I have no will to do *anything*.
I dreamed about Ben last night - - he's really going to be missed at Christmas this year. I was so happy to see him - - in the dream, I could see him, but no one else could. We were having dinner - - me, mom, J, Robbie, and Chrisey. J was telling everyone about someone - - a doctor or someone at a hospital maybe - - being rude, or doing something wrong when I took Mom there, and I told him off. Ben told me he knew I would handle it right, or something like that. he had no patience for rude or incompetent doctors or nurses. But, it made me happy and sad at the same time. I woke up feeling so happy, having seen him, but sad that he's not here.
Anyway, I have 20 more minutes on the pecans, then I am turning off the soup and letting J put it away. I took a Xanax - - my first in *months* - - and I'm going to have a nice relaxing shower and go to bed.