A silent excommunication; fandom observations both personal and at large
A long-time LJ friend de-friended me a few days ago. The act was done in silence; no warning, no notice, no message ... no courtesy. Just a silent disconnection. The event that apparently caused this reaction has aided me in making an observation about the HP fandom as it is at present, which I'll discuss a little further below.
( The post-mortem and how the event is symptomatic of a larger fandom trend. )
( The post-mortem and how the event is symptomatic of a larger fandom trend. )
Because your comment was - from her perspective as a canon freak - obnoxious
Her perspective as an extremely sensitive and threatened canon freak, yes. But I guess that's part of the 'freak' label you've chosen.
Yes, there's something there for her to hang her 'anti-canon' hat on, sure (unlike the other posts of mine that she tried to use to self-justify her actions). But she had to basically set things to DEFCON 1, deliberately go on the warpath, to amplify my post's meagre content to be worthy of the sudden and rude erasure and banning. Which was sad.
To get a better look at the whole picture you'd have to know how St. Margarets and I interacted for the past - sob! - 6-odd years. Since around 2005 or so I think. I was a fan of her (H/G! Forgive me!) stories and followed her to LJ.
The main part of our history - that you don't know - which pretty much defuses the 'troll content' you see in my post is that St. Margarets and I had had exchanges much like that over the years, happily talking about each other's 'camps' and the like. Not every time, but occasionally. So, that's years of communication. Then I made two comments over SIX MONTHS prior to this incident which criticised her defence of the canon (absolutely nothing to do with 'shipping') to which she didn't reply. And then this, which apparently, in her fragile embattled state - she was fraying with all of the H/Hr propaganda that was doing the rounds before the release of DH1 at the time - saw her crack.
I'd thought I was pretty sensitive about it, actually. Sure, I openly talked about 'my camp', but that was (a) well known to her and (b) standard practice/parlance between us. And I remember adding that next line, about the inevitability of a return to canon compliance - he who laughs last laughs best? - hoping that would make her feel better, should any feathers be ruffled anyway.
But no, it turns out I drastically underestimated her fragility on the issue.
This is, to me at least, proof positive that when it comes to fandom people can't truly be friends with other fans of a completely different viewpoint. This sort of thing invariably happens.
Hmmm. Well, I still have some pro-canon people who are LJ-friends, and in whose blogs I post. No, I think it depends on the individual. There's certainly a definite mindset, though, who can only feel good about their pro-canon stance by hiding from the facts and any arguments opposing it. I'd definitely accept your thesis about that faction. And Mary would be a member of that group.
I hope I haven't offended you.
Good grief no! All thoughts welcome.
I just wanted to say I can see where both of you are coming from on this particular issue.
I spent a bit of time discussing St. Margaret's case with others and I can understand where she was coming from too. (I can't respect it - running away, being rude, silently banning friends, intellectual cowardice, that's all bad stuff - but I can understand it.)
Hopefully things have worked out by now.
Well, sadly, with our (enforced, by her!) parting ways. St. Margarets hasn't had to ignore one-comment-per-three-months from me - we haven't communicated since she replied to this post here - which I'm sure makes her less cranky and her grip on her canon beliefs that little bit more secure. I had some good chats with some other folks about how she fit into the whole mindset of the fandom and how people tick. I really have found that sort of thing fascinating over the years. (Your "proof positive that when it comes to fandom people can't truly be friends with other fans of a completely different viewpoint" has got me psychologically pondering anew.) Cheers!
Reply
I don't mean to offend , just to comment on a particular way R/Hr like to view their ship ( in terms of arguments).
Reply
EWWWWWWWWWW!!!
A good joke, and an interesting comment on the silliness of the HP canon's R/Hr. And the most ... 'personal' ... one that I've ever fielded. :-)
When I first read your comment I initially took it in 'real world' context and honestly felt some slight revulsion at the idea of any 'sexual tension' between St. Margarets and me. Ugh. For two reasons. Firstly, the real world doesn't really work that way, not usually; I don't live in a Tom Hanks movie universe. Besides, she's a married woman, you might not know. :-)
But secondly, I just can't fathom having 'love' for someone for whom I have no respect. (Or, to be more precise, mild respect in some areas, contempt in others. With the contempt outweighing the respect.)
Which is the other face of your point about R/Hr, of course. Fighting and nastiness and cowardly retreating and pusillanimous banning doesn't make for good relations, even though Rowling tried to depict such in HBP (if Hogwarts had an intranet you can just bet that Hermione would have banned Ron from her journal!) ... and there's no way our Miss Granger (the girl with more than half a brain, the girl we would see after the hormones settle) would ever find satisfaction with someone like Ron, a man she clearly respected hardly at all in the series.
Reply
Leave a comment