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[maddenbrother]

Well I guess all of you know by now what is going on...I tried calling Sarah today and couldnt get an answer, so I left her a message on her cell. God, I hope she gets it. You know I dont know when things are going to get better for us. I thought things were finally getting better. When I got here...Mom, Joel, and Benji were all there. And they all

Comments

[jen__love]

Josh...things aren't how I want them either. I want the same things you do. I want to be happy and have everyone be happy around me and safe and healthy...

I know that I've done hurtful things as well...and I can't change them. I wish I could reverse time and change it and take them back but it can't happen. And I've never been more sorry for anything in my life.

I don't want to believe it's over...I don't want to believe that all we have is memories...I don't want to believe I've lost you. I don't want to believe I have to let you go...

Like I've told you before your last name never mattered to me. I didn't care where you came from I just cared who you were inside. I fell in love with Joshua Madden. Not Josh Madden, Benji and Joel's older brother. I want you to know that me loving you never had anything to do with anyone but me and you.

I want you in my life. I can't imagine not having you in my life and it hurts throughout my entire being to think that I can't have you in my life. So...if you really want to end things and you really want to just be friends than I will take it how I can get it...I want to sit down and talk with you too. This talking in comments thing is so public, so difficult...but like I said I'll take it how I can get it.

I'm sorry I ever hurt you in anyway.

[maddenbrother]

Right now, my mind is full of so many emotions. Im terrified. I dont know what will happen to us if anything were to happen to her. I really dont. There is alot of things that I want to say to you, not just want...need to say to you...

All I want is for me to wake up and this all be over, it be a bad dream. A nightmare is more like it. I dont know what we have ever done to deserve all of this. Its not fair...Its not

I know, I want you in my life too. I dont know what I mean by this and I dont know much of anything right now. This shouldnt be discussed right now, not here. that i will agree with you on...we should do this face to face. And we will...I just dont know when.

[jen__love]

I know you are terrified. I'm terrified for you. I know how important she is, how important your family is.

You don't deserve this. No one deserves what you have been through.

There are things that need to be said and they will be said, when the time is right. Now is not that time. Please, go be with your family, your brothers, your sister, your mother. Don't think about me. Focus on them. They need you...

[maddenbrother]

I know and knowing even after all the shit your still there for me...It means alot...It does...I still havent seen Sarah, but I think she might be on her way. At least I hope so.....Ok, Im going to go and be with my brothers and mother now...

we will talk soon

[jen__love]

Good luck with everything. I'm not going anywhere...I'll be waiting.

[maddenbrother]

-Nods- Thank you