eternal(ly) (depressing) sunshine of the spotless mind
"How happy is the blameless Vestal's lot! The world forgetting, by the world forgot. Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind! Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd."
i dreaded watching this movie, and i didn't know why. now i know. he loved this movie. he saw it in the theater, and he bought it the day it came out. "you have to see it, it's so good." he brought it w\ him when he came down here, we were going to watch it. we started the movie, but i had to take him to the airport soon, so we wanted to spend our time with each other. It was October 21, 2004. It was the last day we ever saw each other. 11 weeks ago. The longest I've ever been w\o seeing him since I've known him.
Today was a good day. This movie ruined it. Am I saying this movie is bad, no. I'm saying if i didn't feel like it was so close to my life, maybe I would've enjoyed it. Maybe if i had seen it at another time in my life. I've never watched a movie where I start crying not even 30 minutes in and pretty much cried through the rest of the movie. At first i though, you know, maybe this whole memory erasing thing that this movie portrays is a good idea. I saw little bits of us in them. How can you watch this movie and not see it. But you know what, when he started to have those memories erased, he forgot all the bad things, and he remembered the good. Every time I sit in my room, or i'm out w\ my friends, and I try to forget you, something reminds me of how much i love you, and how much I need you. You can't forget love. Right now, i just don't understand why you can't see it either. Maybe you need to see this movie again, and again.
Clem: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut. But you were exciting.
Clem: I wish you'd stayed.
Joel: I wish I'd stayed, too. Now I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. Oh God, I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do..
Clem: Well, I came back downstairs and you were gone.
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door.
Clem: Why?
Joel: I don't know.. I felt like a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clem: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, i think.
Clem: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah. You said, 'so go'. With such disdain, you know...
Clem: Oh, I'm sorry..
Joel: It's okay.
Clem: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door.. there's no memory left.
Clem: Come back and make up a goodbye, at least. Pretend we had one. Bye, Joel.
Joel: I love you.
Clem: Meet me in Montauk.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life, even after that.
Clem: Mmm, i know
Joel: It would be different if we could just give it another go round.
Clem: Remember me, just try your best. Maybe we can.
i dreaded watching this movie, and i didn't know why. now i know. he loved this movie. he saw it in the theater, and he bought it the day it came out. "you have to see it, it's so good." he brought it w\ him when he came down here, we were going to watch it. we started the movie, but i had to take him to the airport soon, so we wanted to spend our time with each other. It was October 21, 2004. It was the last day we ever saw each other. 11 weeks ago. The longest I've ever been w\o seeing him since I've known him.
Today was a good day. This movie ruined it. Am I saying this movie is bad, no. I'm saying if i didn't feel like it was so close to my life, maybe I would've enjoyed it. Maybe if i had seen it at another time in my life. I've never watched a movie where I start crying not even 30 minutes in and pretty much cried through the rest of the movie. At first i though, you know, maybe this whole memory erasing thing that this movie portrays is a good idea. I saw little bits of us in them. How can you watch this movie and not see it. But you know what, when he started to have those memories erased, he forgot all the bad things, and he remembered the good. Every time I sit in my room, or i'm out w\ my friends, and I try to forget you, something reminds me of how much i love you, and how much I need you. You can't forget love. Right now, i just don't understand why you can't see it either. Maybe you need to see this movie again, and again.
Clem: So go.
Joel: I did. I thought maybe you were a nut. But you were exciting.
Clem: I wish you'd stayed.
Joel: I wish I'd stayed, too. Now I wish I'd stayed. I wish I'd done a lot of things. Oh God, I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do..
Clem: Well, I came back downstairs and you were gone.
Joel: I walked out, I walked out the door.
Clem: Why?
Joel: I don't know.. I felt like a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.
Clem: You were scared?
Joel: Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, i think.
Clem: Was it something I said?
Joel: Yeah. You said, 'so go'. With such disdain, you know...
Clem: Oh, I'm sorry..
Joel: It's okay.
Clem: Joely? What if you stayed this time?
Joel: I walked out the door.. there's no memory left.
Clem: Come back and make up a goodbye, at least. Pretend we had one. Bye, Joel.
Joel: I love you.
Clem: Meet me in Montauk.
Joel: I still thought you were gonna save my life, even after that.
Clem: Mmm, i know
Joel: It would be different if we could just give it another go round.
Clem: Remember me, just try your best. Maybe we can.