It's been awhile....

[madcharityvane]

After a week and a half of being disturbingly emotional and breaking down every other minute over seemingly stupid things, I think I figured out my problem: I'm going through a mid-college crisis. I have no idea of what I want to be when I grow up. Ever since ninth grade, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do and major in. And now, I don't know anymore. All I really wish I could do is go back to that moment in 8th grade when I should have stood up for what I wanted and say what I should have said and followed my dream, even if it took me nowhere, because now, all I feel is regret that I wasn't strong enough to fight for what was important to me and regret that I was never given the opportunity to try. People keep telling me when I talk about, "No, it's a good thing you stopped dancing." You would have never liked that lifestyle." "You wouldn't have ever made it." But what if? I probably would have stopped in a year or so, but now, I just wish that I could have had the chance to make that choice for myself.
Anyway, so now, I don't know what I'm doing. I think I'm terrible at the things that I want so badly to be good at and to do for the rest of my life, but I don't think that I'm going to be able to make it. So here it is, the question of the week/month/something like that: Should I take a semester off to figure out my life? And if so, what should I do instead? Go back to California? Find an apartment here? (And even scarier is that I know exactly what I would do if there wasn't that one person that I'm taking a chance on.)