Things I learned this weekend... (pre super bowl)
Just because it was warm around noon, does not mean you can wear a summer skirt and flops after dark, it is February after all.
PBR + Chocolate chip cookies = delicious when you are eating the cookie, gross when you go back to the beer.
Don't drink the first 3 beers super fast and then follow with more at a very slow pace, you skip tipsy and move on to "man, I'm shit-faced" way too fast.
Drunk Ball is the moast amazing game known to man. (OK, so I've known this for a very long time, but it's worth repeating.)
While it is possible to be sexy and not slutty, there will always be the party slut who will get with all the guys.
While said slut is making out with all the boys at the party, she will pick just one ot go home with, and that guy will always be the one I have my eye on.
Not to worry, because after party slut leaves with boy, there will be previous party sluts who will be more than willing to share information about said boy, such as "two minutes"
Also remember, there was a time when you were the party slut and although everyone, including you, acts like you have forgotten this incident, EVERYONE remembers.
There is nothing sexier than a guy sitting in a chair playing the guitar and singing while you lean against his legs.
If your roommate passes out on the couch in your dorm suite, your suitemates will not think that she is an alcoholic, but rather, that you are a slut and forced her to sleep in the common room while you have crazy monkey sex with a random stanger picked up off the street.
While you will find the above amusing, you will also wish that it had happened that way.
Middle Eastern men are shameless, really shameless. They will stare at you while you are sitting at your table, and then walk by you, even though you are not between them and the door, and then stare into your face as they walk by, maybe even grabing your chain and running their hands along your back.
While most Middle Eastern men are incredibly sexy, some are not.
Nobody in Charleston cares if you smoke a blunt on the battery.
Pipes, on the other hand, should be left to secluded spaces.
Regardless of how much sleep you get the night after an all-nighter, you will still be tired as hell that second day.
If the guy you're slightly secretly in love with comes in to your work after acting a douche the last time he saw you on the street, act like a bitch. He seems to like that.
PBR + Chocolate chip cookies = delicious when you are eating the cookie, gross when you go back to the beer.
Don't drink the first 3 beers super fast and then follow with more at a very slow pace, you skip tipsy and move on to "man, I'm shit-faced" way too fast.
Drunk Ball is the moast amazing game known to man. (OK, so I've known this for a very long time, but it's worth repeating.)
While it is possible to be sexy and not slutty, there will always be the party slut who will get with all the guys.
While said slut is making out with all the boys at the party, she will pick just one ot go home with, and that guy will always be the one I have my eye on.
Not to worry, because after party slut leaves with boy, there will be previous party sluts who will be more than willing to share information about said boy, such as "two minutes"
Also remember, there was a time when you were the party slut and although everyone, including you, acts like you have forgotten this incident, EVERYONE remembers.
There is nothing sexier than a guy sitting in a chair playing the guitar and singing while you lean against his legs.
If your roommate passes out on the couch in your dorm suite, your suitemates will not think that she is an alcoholic, but rather, that you are a slut and forced her to sleep in the common room while you have crazy monkey sex with a random stanger picked up off the street.
While you will find the above amusing, you will also wish that it had happened that way.
Middle Eastern men are shameless, really shameless. They will stare at you while you are sitting at your table, and then walk by you, even though you are not between them and the door, and then stare into your face as they walk by, maybe even grabing your chain and running their hands along your back.
While most Middle Eastern men are incredibly sexy, some are not.
Nobody in Charleston cares if you smoke a blunt on the battery.
Pipes, on the other hand, should be left to secluded spaces.
Regardless of how much sleep you get the night after an all-nighter, you will still be tired as hell that second day.
If the guy you're slightly secretly in love with comes in to your work after acting a douche the last time he saw you on the street, act like a bitch. He seems to like that.