wow.
oh, my god. i think i'm falling in love. i've never seen myself like this before, ever. i can't think about anything but him. it's obvious to bene (duh, i asked him if i should give him my number) and i think sam's guessed too. (friends with sam again, sort of! yay!) i woke up at 5:30 this morning because i was dreaming about the party. i dreamt that i couldn't get to talk to him, and whenever i'd walk over to him, he'd be walking away. it was like a nightmare. i did some dumb shit, though. (in real life...) i gave him my home number, instead of my cell number. *slaps forhead* i'm so mad at myself. i'm going to kill me. if he wants it, though, he can ask sam or bene. *fingers crossed!* he's gorgeous, first of all, and not in a cookie-cutter, model-boy sort of way. thank god. ick. he's super-tall. like, three inches taller than hailey, tall. which would make him about a foot taller than me. he's been making me feel short since saturday. at the party, there were all these balloons on the ceiling, and the dj's like, "okay, get down all the balloons!" so of course short little me is standing on the floor, without heels, and he's standing on the platform. so he got me a balloon. :) i like him a lot...i was screaming at him and sam to dance, and he's like, "i can't dance..." but, towards the end of the party, he was dancing with me, and you know what? he can dance. he's so sweet, and funny...i really hope he likes me. does anyone know if cathedral is a boys' school? 'cause that would be nice. *fingers crossed again!* i don't know if i'll talk to him again...i hope i do. i'm really worried, i'm totally freaking out. damn, i just met the guy two days ago! i got his screen name...i'm just wondering, maybe i shouldn't have given him my number at all...maybe i came on too strong! oh, man, i really like this guy. i do NOT want to lose him. and all night, ben k. was flirting with me, and mark was practically hitting on me, and i'm thinking, fuck off! i don't like you! i don't want it to seem like i like you! YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN MY CHANCES!! but, i think it's okay. haha, me and noah had a band exchange. float came on, and he yelled at me from across the room (it was super-funny, too, since most of the girls hate me) and i went into the other room to listen. and then losing my religion came on, and i yelled at him across the room. 'cept, he was already gone. me and, uhm, him (trying desperatetly not to say his name) ran out of the room, and him and noah and lee (the super-cool dj guy) were singing it, and mark came up and tried to hit on me, so i'm like "yeah..." and went over and sat behind them. i was watching them, and he turns around and smiles at me. i almost fell off my chair. bottom line: i really, really like him, but i'm worried nothing's going to happen. i'm going to be really upset if nothing happens. as in devestated. he is the most fantastic guy. sighhh...