Forever barred from entry....
Okay, so this is my second relative to die in less than 6 months- my great-grandma died on Friday. It was kind of expected, she was 95 years old. But it's still really odd. I saw her in the hospital the night before she died, and got to say goodbye, which is good. I'm glad that I did. She was an amazing, sweet lady that will be missed. But now I feel like I can't react correctly. I don't cry at funerals. I never have. I'll cry like a baby at Disney movies, and little emotional traumas, but the big stuff- nope. It's like there's a void of feeling when it comes to death for me. I just go on living. Like the last few days. I just put everything out of my mind, and go to a play, or go to tennis with my friends. I don't even know if any of them know that anything is different. I'm not depressed. I'm actually happy. But i feel guilty. It's like no one died- I just go on having fun, joking around with friends. It's like i'm incapable of feeling emotions when it comes to things like death.