Emo
Maybe it's my period talking or stress or whatever, but I've become a disgusting emo kid. I mope too much. Everyone says they want me to cheer up, but you know, it's not just ME that makes me the way I get. It's a few things. I love my friends, I do, but there are times when I just can't fucking deal with them.
I know I'm not the best at anything. When I try, don't encourage me. DON'T. It doesn't make me feel better and when I inevitably fail, it sucks even more. Like bowling? I needed to have that smoke alone or else I was going to break and it would have made everything suck. Being made fun of didn't help either, you know. Whether you were laughing with me or at me, it felt like you were laughing at me.
I've got my flaws, I know. I'm not the best at anything and I'm replaced constantly and I'm picked last, if at all. Beer pong: Seriously? We had this shit planned for a while now. I wouldn't have done that to you. Yeah, I had a thing for you for a while and everyone knew it but I got over that pretty quickly when it became clear as fucking crystal that I wasn't getting anywhere. To be constantly rejected by EVERYONE, especially someone who likes a nice ego-stroke like you do, hurts more than you will ever know. I'd rather be in my sister's position right now. Baby with a douche for a baby-daddy. At least it means someone can love me unconditionally and I don't have to be anyone other than myself in order to be loved. I don't know how much longer I can keep up this shit. Everyone is starting to see exactly how I feel, not just what I allow others to see.
I love you guys, but most of the time I can't hang out with you at the same time or even at all. It seems that it's always time to ridicule things I like, do, say, eat, whatever. I'm constantly criticized and I feel like there's no hope for anyone to just ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I'M FUCKING DIFFERENT. I'm not as smart as you or as "cool" as you, nor do I pretend to be, but must it always be shoved in my face? You know my tastes are different from a lot of others', but really? I find random shit funny. Calling the stuff I like stupid/dumb/retarded/whatever makes me feel like I'm stupid/dumb/retarded whatever. Your music isn't what I like, but I deal with it and I don't complain, so what gives you the right to ridicule? You like shit that's people screaming and the words can't be understood. You listen to shit that's mainly instrumental. Sorry I don't care much for songs without lyrics, but I DON'T COMPLAIN. We all have different tastes and OBVIOUSLY mine aren't as refined as yours are. I get that you have appreciations for different types of music, food, beer, clothes, movies books and everything else, but I guess my tastes mean nothing. It's a double standard of sorts that I just can't take anymore.
I love you guys. You're great friends and you've done a lot for me. I don't want to lose you, but would you care if you lost me? I'm not so sure.
I know I'm not the best at anything. When I try, don't encourage me. DON'T. It doesn't make me feel better and when I inevitably fail, it sucks even more. Like bowling? I needed to have that smoke alone or else I was going to break and it would have made everything suck. Being made fun of didn't help either, you know. Whether you were laughing with me or at me, it felt like you were laughing at me.
I've got my flaws, I know. I'm not the best at anything and I'm replaced constantly and I'm picked last, if at all. Beer pong: Seriously? We had this shit planned for a while now. I wouldn't have done that to you. Yeah, I had a thing for you for a while and everyone knew it but I got over that pretty quickly when it became clear as fucking crystal that I wasn't getting anywhere. To be constantly rejected by EVERYONE, especially someone who likes a nice ego-stroke like you do, hurts more than you will ever know. I'd rather be in my sister's position right now. Baby with a douche for a baby-daddy. At least it means someone can love me unconditionally and I don't have to be anyone other than myself in order to be loved. I don't know how much longer I can keep up this shit. Everyone is starting to see exactly how I feel, not just what I allow others to see.
I love you guys, but most of the time I can't hang out with you at the same time or even at all. It seems that it's always time to ridicule things I like, do, say, eat, whatever. I'm constantly criticized and I feel like there's no hope for anyone to just ACCEPT THE FACT THAT I'M FUCKING DIFFERENT. I'm not as smart as you or as "cool" as you, nor do I pretend to be, but must it always be shoved in my face? You know my tastes are different from a lot of others', but really? I find random shit funny. Calling the stuff I like stupid/dumb/retarded/whatever makes me feel like I'm stupid/dumb/retarded whatever. Your music isn't what I like, but I deal with it and I don't complain, so what gives you the right to ridicule? You like shit that's people screaming and the words can't be understood. You listen to shit that's mainly instrumental. Sorry I don't care much for songs without lyrics, but I DON'T COMPLAIN. We all have different tastes and OBVIOUSLY mine aren't as refined as yours are. I get that you have appreciations for different types of music, food, beer, clothes, movies books and everything else, but I guess my tastes mean nothing. It's a double standard of sorts that I just can't take anymore.
I love you guys. You're great friends and you've done a lot for me. I don't want to lose you, but would you care if you lost me? I'm not so sure.