Freedom?
Konnichiwa!
It's been days since I last made an entry. I guess I was a bit busy. The exams came and we were all rushing our projects so that we'll be able to clear this term. It went well, by the way. Although there were nights when we didn't sleep at all. (But this is an exaggeration, of course. We were able to sleep for at least two hours) But I thought I should survive this. Because this is only the start of university life.
University life is actually equivalent to torture. >_< Just kidding. But it feels that way for me, at least.
Today is our last day for this term. I'm quite--completely joyful about it. For starters, I'm glad that Ms. Bean is out of my life now. Well... I'm not sure that I'm perfectly glad about it. Of course I still miss her. She had this BIIIIG influence on us that's making me not forget her. In fact, whenever something a little related with my crush comes up, I would always turn to Ms. Bean. And when I see her indifferent face and realize that we no longer have that kind of relationship, I would feel so sad. Even to the point that I'm using my glasses. (I have this weird habit of wearing my glasses whenever I'm about o cry)
Having this kind of fight is complicated. It's not like in novels where the protagonist only feels one emotion. In reality, just like in my case, I feel a lot of things. Sometimes I feel angry because she's acting like she's the only one who was hurt. Sometimes depressed because I can never talk to her about the things we used to talk about. Sometimes scared because she might tell other people about my secrets. And sometimes happy because she's out of my life and that I wouldn't need to worry about her anymore. Just like now.
But really. When I think about it, the sadness overwhelms everything. We were so close. I was really happy being friends with her. That's why all those times when she offended me, I acted as though it was nothing. It's so sad that she didn't do the same thing. Is it because she doesn't really regard me that much? I don't know. I wish not. I wish she thought I was special, too.
Anyway, I wrote too much about Ms. Bean again.
Life needs to go one. I should, too. Thank you for reading my entry!
It's been days since I last made an entry. I guess I was a bit busy. The exams came and we were all rushing our projects so that we'll be able to clear this term. It went well, by the way. Although there were nights when we didn't sleep at all. (But this is an exaggeration, of course. We were able to sleep for at least two hours) But I thought I should survive this. Because this is only the start of university life.
University life is actually equivalent to torture. >_< Just kidding. But it feels that way for me, at least.
Today is our last day for this term. I'm quite--completely joyful about it. For starters, I'm glad that Ms. Bean is out of my life now. Well... I'm not sure that I'm perfectly glad about it. Of course I still miss her. She had this BIIIIG influence on us that's making me not forget her. In fact, whenever something a little related with my crush comes up, I would always turn to Ms. Bean. And when I see her indifferent face and realize that we no longer have that kind of relationship, I would feel so sad. Even to the point that I'm using my glasses. (I have this weird habit of wearing my glasses whenever I'm about o cry)
Having this kind of fight is complicated. It's not like in novels where the protagonist only feels one emotion. In reality, just like in my case, I feel a lot of things. Sometimes I feel angry because she's acting like she's the only one who was hurt. Sometimes depressed because I can never talk to her about the things we used to talk about. Sometimes scared because she might tell other people about my secrets. And sometimes happy because she's out of my life and that I wouldn't need to worry about her anymore. Just like now.
But really. When I think about it, the sadness overwhelms everything. We were so close. I was really happy being friends with her. That's why all those times when she offended me, I acted as though it was nothing. It's so sad that she didn't do the same thing. Is it because she doesn't really regard me that much? I don't know. I wish not. I wish she thought I was special, too.
Anyway, I wrote too much about Ms. Bean again.
Life needs to go one. I should, too. Thank you for reading my entry!