"Playbill" by John Bucchino
I flashed the playbill from that Sondheim show
Still too present in my mind.
You asked if I'd just seen that Sondheim show
And didn't I love it?
And isn't it encouraging that love can be blind?
I laughed and said one hates that leading character
In proportion to how desperately they've shown their own need.
I said I really loathed that character
And you graciously agreed.
I don't do this, sitting in bars
It must show as I go through this
Bearing my past and cataloguing scars.
Opening to you
Not something that I normally would do.
Sure the alcohol and smoke screen make it easier
Drink by drink,
Flirt by flirt,
Vertical mile by mile
Climbing through he rocks and the dirt
To the top of a hope
And the brink of a hurt,
But I'm heartened by your smile.
Or is that just the smile you bestow on anyone
Who reflects you golden in his eyes?
Was a hint of promise in that smile
Or was it common courtesy?
Platonic curiosity
All that there will ever be?
Were you really seeing me,
Possibly admiring my style?
Feeling some connection
Or were you merely mesmerized
By your own adorable, adored reflection?
You're too young, I'm too old.
Who knows? Maybe I'm not.
You're too beautiful, I'm too plain
It's impossible, it's a joke
But somehow while we spoke, I forgot.
Did I say the right thing?
Was I clever, was I crude?
Should I have stuck with the disinterested polite thing?
Was I forward to the point of being rude?
When I suddenly grew shy did my charm trickle dry
Or did you find my shyness charming?
When I handed you my card was it alarming
Or delightfully disarming?
I can't guess
When I bolted for the door
Did I leave you wanting more
Or wishing I'd monopolized you less?
I stayed as long as I could stall.
Now I'm home again
Already trying far too hard
Not to wait for you to find my card
And call.
Still too present in my mind.
You asked if I'd just seen that Sondheim show
And didn't I love it?
And isn't it encouraging that love can be blind?
I laughed and said one hates that leading character
In proportion to how desperately they've shown their own need.
I said I really loathed that character
And you graciously agreed.
I don't do this, sitting in bars
It must show as I go through this
Bearing my past and cataloguing scars.
Opening to you
Not something that I normally would do.
Sure the alcohol and smoke screen make it easier
Drink by drink,
Flirt by flirt,
Vertical mile by mile
Climbing through he rocks and the dirt
To the top of a hope
And the brink of a hurt,
But I'm heartened by your smile.
Or is that just the smile you bestow on anyone
Who reflects you golden in his eyes?
Was a hint of promise in that smile
Or was it common courtesy?
Platonic curiosity
All that there will ever be?
Were you really seeing me,
Possibly admiring my style?
Feeling some connection
Or were you merely mesmerized
By your own adorable, adored reflection?
You're too young, I'm too old.
Who knows? Maybe I'm not.
You're too beautiful, I'm too plain
It's impossible, it's a joke
But somehow while we spoke, I forgot.
Did I say the right thing?
Was I clever, was I crude?
Should I have stuck with the disinterested polite thing?
Was I forward to the point of being rude?
When I suddenly grew shy did my charm trickle dry
Or did you find my shyness charming?
When I handed you my card was it alarming
Or delightfully disarming?
I can't guess
When I bolted for the door
Did I leave you wanting more
Or wishing I'd monopolized you less?
I stayed as long as I could stall.
Now I'm home again
Already trying far too hard
Not to wait for you to find my card
And call.