Photoshoot for laridian: Brokeback Ugly
Since
laridian was able to convince her Terecito to provide me with a VERY entertaining Man Panty Parade, I now offer to her:
Brokeback Ugly
starring:
Jupiter Khillian
and also starring:
Onus Khillian
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"Onus, I was thinking, you like me in uniform so much, I thought you might like to try out something else."
Jupiter really likes his new threads.
He hopes. . .
. . .Onus likes them as well.
He likes the new bedding. . .
and joins Jupiter on it after changing.
"So, I hope it's not cloudy tomorrow."
"Why?"
"Well, natural light is best for photo shoots."
"What?"
"Yeah. Well, you see, I kind of made this agreement. . ."
"Yeah. . ."
". . .to take some photos. Model the clothes and such."
"Do we get to keep the clothes after it's over?"
"Why, Mister Khillian, do you like what you see? I thought that white hat meant you were pure. . .
". . .and chaste. Immune to. . ."
". . .corruption by a no good cattle rustler. . ."
"Why Mister Khillian, are you trying to seduce me?"
Don't your teeth just ACHE from the sweetness?
------------------
The next morning, Mister and Mister Khillian wake early, excited by their new adventure.
It's said, a cowboy's horse is his best friend.
Onus believed that until. . .
*Jupiter yelling* "What the. . ."
. . .he met Jupiter.
Jupiter still hasn't learned not to leave his horse, Loco, untied around Dolly.
"Hey, wait. I thought this was supposed to be a PHOTOSHOOT, not some cheesey story."
photographer: What?
"I said, what's up with all THIS. I thought Onus and I were just going to stand around in these clothes and that would be it.
I told you, Jupiter, you have to give more than just a few headshots while wearing a cowboy hat. You made a deal.
"No, YOU made a deal."
"And these horses stink. You didn't mention horses. . ."
I said there would be props. . .
". . .I don't consider LIVESTOCK to be props. And they're eating up my yard."
Ok. We can lose the horses for a while.
"YEE-HAW!"
"So what should we do?"
Just interact with each other. Pretend I'm not even here.
"Well, howdy, pardner."
"What's say we mosey on down to the saloon for a cold brew."
*fffffffttttt* "Jupiter!"
"What?"
"I heard THAT."
"What?"
"You farted, you pig."
"I did not."
"You did, I HEARD it."
"I didn't do anything."
"Yes you DID!"
"No. I didn't. Care to take a whiff and find out how wrong you are?"
"You wish."
"Hey, while I'm down here. . ."
"Stop it, Jupiter. The photographer is watching."
"She said to act like she wasn't here. Hey, the horses are gone."
"Get a-loooonnggg little doggies. . ."
"Shit! You scared the hell out of me. You trying to scare a fart out of me so you can be right for once?"
*snort* "Did you ever know that you're my heeee-ro. . ."
"NO. No Bette Midler."
"You love her."
"No."
"Yes. That's why you have that autographed cd. . ."
"That was Viola's."
"Uh-huh. So that's why it's signed: Jupiter, You look so good dressed like me."
"No. It says. . ."
". . .Jupiter, I love you and want to have ten thousand of your. . ."
*laughing* "Get up, ass."
"Mmmm. . .speaking of ass."
"So, Sheriff Khillian, you still can't resist the charms of the cowboy in the black hat."
"A good sheriff will do ANYTHING to get the bad guy in cuffs, haven't you learned that by now?"
"Hey, there're more props over here."
"You think they'll let us keep this couch, I kind of like it."
"I don't know. It is kind of cool looking. We don't have a loveseat. It's nice. Kind of cozy."
"Jupiter, what are you. . ."
"mmmmmmmmm"
(gratuitous make out pics, anyone?)
(they come up for air)
"Seems like you enjoyed what I had in mind, huh?"
"Well. . .
. . .THIS. . .
. . .sounds good too."
(more make out? I thought so)
(they come up for air yet again)
*clearing throat* Uh, guys. I was thinking we could change up your outfits now?
"Hey, this is nice."
Yeah, but I wanted to do something a little different. See, the storyline was going to have the two cowboys realizing their feelings for one another while having a dip down at the water hole.
"You didn't say anything about modeling swimsuits."
Oh, you don't have to wear swimsuits.
"Hey, these are kind of nice."
"Damn, Onus. You been working out? Those look great on you."
"You like? Hey, is that a real pond? I'm going in."
"God *gasp* damnit. That's COLD."
"Don't you dare. . ."
*splashing*
"I'm all itchy now that you had to pull me into the water with you."
"Relax, the sun will warm you up in a few minutes and you'll be fine."
"Check it out. I'm The Hulk."
"Grrrrrrr."
"The Hulk's gonna getcha."
"I got something for you, Hulk."
"Purrrrrrrr."
"You're making The Hulk's pants get tight."
"Hmm, must have shrunk when you fell in the water. You should take them off."
*throat clearing* Uh, guys, this isn't THAT kind of a photoshoot. But if your'e so keen on taking off the shorts, can you put the cowboy garb back on for a few last snaps?
"Hey, I thought you said the horses were gone?"
"Damnit."
"What? They don't smell that bad. I kind of like it."
"No." *points*
"A PONY!!!! I can't wait to tell Rubina. . ."
(Jupiter and Onus turn, in unison, toward the photographer)
Ooops, sorry. I'll just pack the horses up now.
(Jupiter) "Yeah, you do that."
"So, I see you changed your hat. I won you over, huh?"
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**Notes: Jupiter LOVED wearing the cowboy hat. I gave him his makeover and he started clapping. Onus just shrugged. This was super fun to do but it made me glad I don't do photoshoots a lot. Props to all those storytellers that make sets and all that. You work too hard. But, I suppose it's a labor of love, huh?