Nocheat Update: Ned Senora (part 2)
Damn it all to hell, my cuts aren't working properly. Hopefully this update will have the decency to hide itself behind the cut.
Ok, so back to the continuing saga of Ned Senora.
Edna returns to Ned and Seymour (still un-named girl toddler in tow).
"Man, why'd you run off like that? I though you didn't like me anymore."
"Oh, I like you Ned, in fact I love you! But I also like having some money to spend on frivolous things like house siding."
Seymour clings to his mother as she explains why she left them.
"But where'd you go?"
"I went to Galacticon's house and spread all the baby stuff in his yard. I knew he was a cassanova and didn't want anything to do with raising his daughter. But I think the minivan was what put him over the edge."
"A minivan, I didn't see you drive up in a minivan."
"No, I got us something I knew you and Seymour would like."
"Where'd you get the money?"
"Well, I told Galacticon that if he didn't want to be a part of his daughter's life, he should at least help pay for her care."
"You mean, he gave you money?"
"Damn right he gave me money."
And at that moment, for the first time in his life, Ned knew exactly what he wanted.
To hump the brains out of the woman who shook her lover down for cold hard cash.
"So, Ned, what should I name our daughter."
*snore* "Whasthat?"
"The baby, what should we name her."
*groggy*"Shotgun."
"Did you say Shotgun?"
"Yeah, Shotgun."
"Are you sleeping? Why shotgun?"
"It sounds prettier than pistol. Pistol's more a boy name."
"Ned, wake up! What are you talking about?"
"Shotgun. The baby's name is Shotgun. You used her to hold up Galacticon for cash, right?"
*smirking* "Yeah, I did."
Soon, toddler Shotgun became child Shotgun.
And with their new found wealth, Ned made another stunning decision.
While he loves Edna more than any other sim, he's also afraid of her. Keep your friends close and your money extorting lovers closer.
"Nasty, man. Again with the sicko toilet? OH! Does that mean. . ."
"I know you want a big party and all that, but I can't have my girl waddling around all pregnant in a wedding dress. That's just not cool."
"Having my bay-be. . ."
Ned is hopelessly devoted to Edna and their soon to be new baby.
"Damn, dude, your stomach is like as big as my head!"
The whole family is getting along so well. Seymour even invites Guiseppe DeTreville in off the street for a hamburger.
"Hey, Guiseppe, my mom just got married."
Guiseppe engages Shotgun's conversation.
"They taught us in school that. . .
. . .sims can cheat Death!"
Guiseppe confirmst Shotgun's lessons with his tale of rescuing his son, Onus, from an early grave.
While Shotgun runs upstairs to fetch her scoolwork to show Guiseppe, Guiseppe asks the question he's come looking to answer.
"Is Shotgun a product of abduction?"
"No, she's my daughter."
Guiseppe is confused.
"Were you abducted?"
"Oh, no, nothing like that. Shotgun's the best windfall this family ever had."
Guiseppe leaves still confused but confident Shotgun is not like his husband's daughter, Artemis, the product of an alien abduction.
The next morning finds the shower leaking and Ned off at work. Edna hires a repairman.
"When you said you had a water leak, this wasn't what I had in mind."
Edna births her second daughter.
And, on his return from school, Seymour becomes a teen.
And even though he's a romance sim, he's completely infatuated by his baby sister, Selma.
Though you might not want to ram the bottle down her throat like that, Seymour.
But what about Galacticon?
He's busy figuring out if he can afford a shake down for college tuition for his oldest son, Farquest Galaxy. If word gets out, the mothers of his other four kids will come to his door with their hands out too.
(don't worry, Galacticon, one of your children is now an adult. You wouldn't be financially responsible for her. But your teen son and three child aged kids? You may want to change your address. *note* Galacticon's children are (in order by age): Mosaic Laide, Farquest Galaxy Bendett, Dora Mae McCrackin, Romeo DeTreville, and Shotgun Baena.)
Ok, so back to the continuing saga of Ned Senora.
Edna returns to Ned and Seymour (still un-named girl toddler in tow).
"Man, why'd you run off like that? I though you didn't like me anymore."
"Oh, I like you Ned, in fact I love you! But I also like having some money to spend on frivolous things like house siding."
Seymour clings to his mother as she explains why she left them.
"But where'd you go?"
"I went to Galacticon's house and spread all the baby stuff in his yard. I knew he was a cassanova and didn't want anything to do with raising his daughter. But I think the minivan was what put him over the edge."
"A minivan, I didn't see you drive up in a minivan."
"No, I got us something I knew you and Seymour would like."
"Where'd you get the money?"
"Well, I told Galacticon that if he didn't want to be a part of his daughter's life, he should at least help pay for her care."
"You mean, he gave you money?"
"Damn right he gave me money."
And at that moment, for the first time in his life, Ned knew exactly what he wanted.
To hump the brains out of the woman who shook her lover down for cold hard cash.
"So, Ned, what should I name our daughter."
*snore* "Whasthat?"
"The baby, what should we name her."
*groggy*"Shotgun."
"Did you say Shotgun?"
"Yeah, Shotgun."
"Are you sleeping? Why shotgun?"
"It sounds prettier than pistol. Pistol's more a boy name."
"Ned, wake up! What are you talking about?"
"Shotgun. The baby's name is Shotgun. You used her to hold up Galacticon for cash, right?"
*smirking* "Yeah, I did."
Soon, toddler Shotgun became child Shotgun.
And with their new found wealth, Ned made another stunning decision.
While he loves Edna more than any other sim, he's also afraid of her. Keep your friends close and your money extorting lovers closer.
"Nasty, man. Again with the sicko toilet? OH! Does that mean. . ."
"I know you want a big party and all that, but I can't have my girl waddling around all pregnant in a wedding dress. That's just not cool."
"Having my bay-be. . ."
Ned is hopelessly devoted to Edna and their soon to be new baby.
"Damn, dude, your stomach is like as big as my head!"
The whole family is getting along so well. Seymour even invites Guiseppe DeTreville in off the street for a hamburger.
"Hey, Guiseppe, my mom just got married."
Guiseppe engages Shotgun's conversation.
"They taught us in school that. . .
. . .sims can cheat Death!"
Guiseppe confirmst Shotgun's lessons with his tale of rescuing his son, Onus, from an early grave.
While Shotgun runs upstairs to fetch her scoolwork to show Guiseppe, Guiseppe asks the question he's come looking to answer.
"Is Shotgun a product of abduction?"
"No, she's my daughter."
Guiseppe is confused.
"Were you abducted?"
"Oh, no, nothing like that. Shotgun's the best windfall this family ever had."
Guiseppe leaves still confused but confident Shotgun is not like his husband's daughter, Artemis, the product of an alien abduction.
The next morning finds the shower leaking and Ned off at work. Edna hires a repairman.
"When you said you had a water leak, this wasn't what I had in mind."
Edna births her second daughter.
And, on his return from school, Seymour becomes a teen.
And even though he's a romance sim, he's completely infatuated by his baby sister, Selma.
Though you might not want to ram the bottle down her throat like that, Seymour.
But what about Galacticon?
He's busy figuring out if he can afford a shake down for college tuition for his oldest son, Farquest Galaxy. If word gets out, the mothers of his other four kids will come to his door with their hands out too.
(don't worry, Galacticon, one of your children is now an adult. You wouldn't be financially responsible for her. But your teen son and three child aged kids? You may want to change your address. *note* Galacticon's children are (in order by age): Mosaic Laide, Farquest Galaxy Bendett, Dora Mae McCrackin, Romeo DeTreville, and Shotgun Baena.)