RIP: Toilet Seat
This is the text I sent to my wife this morning as I was (yet again) fleeing my own house due to in-law infestation:
"make sure you thank your dad for breaking out toilet seat--the very one you searched heaven and earth to find"
And I'd like to add (for those of you who may think I'm just being mean and petty--hey, toilet seats break, right?) that it was not what I would consider a "normal" break. It was complete and total toilet seat destruction.
Think I'm exaggerating?
THE LID WAS REND FROM SEAT. There were actual SPLINTERS on the floor. SPLINTERS!!
So it wasn't just an "oops, the seat cracked. tee hee, time to go on a diet!" thing. It was HULK SMASH violence perpetrated against my toilet seat. The very same seat the wife and I had to go to THREE different stores to find. (and that wasn't because we were being picky and wanted something fancy--the stores just did. not. have. the proper seat for some freakish reason).
I'm not sure what happened in that bathroom to cause such wanton destruction but I am sure I don't want to know.
I'm also sure that if I return home this evening and my in-laws are still there, the wife and I will be having words. Strong words. Bad words.