????????
So, wow. I've been so busy. Exhaustingly busy. LJ is telling me that exhaustingly isn't a word. I don't care. Usually the little red lines bother me under words that I think are words. Not tonight.
I've been getting up at 5:30, opening the stables, going to the courthouse and working until 4:00, going to do a tour at 4:30, possibly another tour at 6:30, and then either going home to take care of my mother or cleaning up the stables and locking up and then going home and taking care of my mother. I had a talk with Dad, and he's helping more now and isn't as bitter about whatever it was, but he's still pretty torn up about something.
Mom's stopped being obnoxiously mean and irritating and is now breaking my heart every night. She just lies in bed and cries a lot. Dad's been put on midnights. I've been making Mom eat when I get home and then giving her a sleeping pill and lying with her while she cries herself to sleep. It's not even an act anymore, I think. She just looks hopeless. I wish I could be home with her more, but I can't. (HA! Who ever thought I'd say that? Not me.) I have to work, and I really don't think I'd be able to handle being around her like this all the time.
We've talked...she's genuinely sorry to me. And I don't know how to react to that. I want to say it's all okay, but I've never been a liar. Not with situations like this. I've been debating all week about not going on vacation and just spending that week trying to get through to her. I have Friday off completely...I think I'll try then and see if I can get through. Dad'll be home next week. He has vacation time saved up. He never takes time off, so hopefully that'll help too.
I'm sitting on the porch and drinking...tea. Not as relaxing as some other things, that's for sure.
I really need this vacation....
Singing tonight was fun. Michael was feeling Nancy Sinatra, so I sang "My Baby Shot Me Down" and I was feeling this new song (from a Palm Pre commercial) called "Doorway" by Io Echo. We worked it out on a guitar and tambourine. I had to play the tambourine AND sing. I guess it turned out as well as can be expected for someone with limited rhythm capabilities. I had a good time.
Fake Problems' It's Great to Be Alive and The Hold Steady's Stay Positive have been my constant jams. I'm hoping to offset my life with my listening choices, I guess. I can't help it. Those are what I'm in the mood for. And both are fantasstic. And some band called Wingnut Dishwasher's Union. Ha. The singer sounds like his vocal cords were raked over a cheese grater, but for some reason it's entertaining. I think it's the lyrics mixed with the grater-voice. I enjoy it.
I got my #LOFNOTC shirt. :) And the WKAP books are shipping soon. Eeeee! Little things. And Jason brought me a little glow-in-the-dark alien from a machine. She has a glow bow on her oblong head.
Oh, and Harry Potter's ginger friend has swine flu and one of his bullies got arrested for possesion of mj. I laughed. The UK is hardcore about that stuff, I guess. He's looking at years of jail time. I still giggled a little after reading that.
Well, it's time for me to go lie down with my mom and hope she isn't crying. I'm tired. And sore. And not pregnant. Thank god.
k
I've been getting up at 5:30, opening the stables, going to the courthouse and working until 4:00, going to do a tour at 4:30, possibly another tour at 6:30, and then either going home to take care of my mother or cleaning up the stables and locking up and then going home and taking care of my mother. I had a talk with Dad, and he's helping more now and isn't as bitter about whatever it was, but he's still pretty torn up about something.
Mom's stopped being obnoxiously mean and irritating and is now breaking my heart every night. She just lies in bed and cries a lot. Dad's been put on midnights. I've been making Mom eat when I get home and then giving her a sleeping pill and lying with her while she cries herself to sleep. It's not even an act anymore, I think. She just looks hopeless. I wish I could be home with her more, but I can't. (HA! Who ever thought I'd say that? Not me.) I have to work, and I really don't think I'd be able to handle being around her like this all the time.
We've talked...she's genuinely sorry to me. And I don't know how to react to that. I want to say it's all okay, but I've never been a liar. Not with situations like this. I've been debating all week about not going on vacation and just spending that week trying to get through to her. I have Friday off completely...I think I'll try then and see if I can get through. Dad'll be home next week. He has vacation time saved up. He never takes time off, so hopefully that'll help too.
I'm sitting on the porch and drinking...tea. Not as relaxing as some other things, that's for sure.
I really need this vacation....
Singing tonight was fun. Michael was feeling Nancy Sinatra, so I sang "My Baby Shot Me Down" and I was feeling this new song (from a Palm Pre commercial) called "Doorway" by Io Echo. We worked it out on a guitar and tambourine. I had to play the tambourine AND sing. I guess it turned out as well as can be expected for someone with limited rhythm capabilities. I had a good time.
Fake Problems' It's Great to Be Alive and The Hold Steady's Stay Positive have been my constant jams. I'm hoping to offset my life with my listening choices, I guess. I can't help it. Those are what I'm in the mood for. And both are fantasstic. And some band called Wingnut Dishwasher's Union. Ha. The singer sounds like his vocal cords were raked over a cheese grater, but for some reason it's entertaining. I think it's the lyrics mixed with the grater-voice. I enjoy it.
I got my #LOFNOTC shirt. :) And the WKAP books are shipping soon. Eeeee! Little things. And Jason brought me a little glow-in-the-dark alien from a machine. She has a glow bow on her oblong head.
Oh, and Harry Potter's ginger friend has swine flu and one of his bullies got arrested for possesion of mj. I laughed. The UK is hardcore about that stuff, I guess. He's looking at years of jail time. I still giggled a little after reading that.
Well, it's time for me to go lie down with my mom and hope she isn't crying. I'm tired. And sore. And not pregnant. Thank god.
k