Creativity
so i've long rattled on about the spirituality of creativity... and its importance in my life. to create is to actively participate in the underlying energy of the universe. to be a mini-god in the overall fractal pattern of gods that make up Life. i don't have to be a fabulous artist or writer... i am a happily ordinary person with pressure-free, average creative abilities. but i do have to create art... write... or i am not being true to my whole purpose of existance.
my journey is currently all about marrying my frequent creative outburst and gusts of dizzying inspiration with self discipline and technical skill. to do this i am going about reprogramming my brain on a pretty deep level. i have associated self discpline and structure with the emperor card on the tarot for so long... and carlyle, my controlling father... male, patriarchal, beard, stern, unloving, and source of great pain and rejection. i am reprograming my deep gut reactions so that i associate the balanced use of self discpline and structure with the incredible heart glow and satisfaction one experiences when we have achieved something... created something... done hard work and reaped the rewards... i am yet to have a physical image to associate this image with. no doubt it will bubble up in time.
so i've signed up to painting classes to aquire some technical skill. i've also started working through the 12 week course outlined in "The Artist's Way". i feel pretty brilliant about it actually. every morning i write three pages of free association, stream of consciousness... then (this bit i added myself) 10mins of just being present and centred in meditation.
the other cornerstone of the course is to set a 2hour artist date every week. this is not to do art... or even go see it necessarily... no this is to "fill the well" of inspiraiton. this is to totally indulge my inner child and play... walk the dogs with a mostache... sit on a tram and people watch... go roll around in the ikea ball pit... paint glitter on my nails... play dress ups... go to the pub and play a character completely different to how i normally present myself... dance in the rain... roll naked on a fluffy rug.... whatever. but its an activity that gives me energy rather than takes it. producing art and channeling art takes energy... drains the well. the artist's date is to replenish it in some way. i suspect that will be fun!
then there are a bunch of exercises to probe my psychology for blocks and generally get things flowing.
yep. this has got me all flushed with enthusiasm. this is gonna do me the world of good. for a while i have been focused on sex, love, and bizz.... have also been partying a lot... more alcohol than is good for me... these things are all good but they got out of balance. by putting my creativity in number one slot, these other things have naturally tumbled down the list. a way of changing without struggling. schweeet.
my favorite chair... have sat in this chair to create in various forms for years... love this old chair.
a lot of this has come about since confest. i was sitting in the holy cow cafe talking to an artist and he told me that self discipline is not the death of creativity like many seem to think. he told me that because he has the self discipline to get up every day and work on art even though he is not feeling inspired, inspiration strikes him more often. more self discipline = more inspiration hits. a lightbulb went off in me at that. i suddenly realised that structure is not the enemy. an obvious realisation to some perhaps but a life changing one for me.
so i am holding an internal marriage ceremony between saturn and uranus... both planets rule aquarius. one is the rebellious freedom seeker and well of innovative imagination while the other is, well the emporer card in the tarot... structure, sensible-ness and discipline. together , in a balanced way, can create anything... if i can pull this off, all this inspiration juice within me will be chanelled with purpose and fruit. i can be all i am capable of being.
my journey is currently all about marrying my frequent creative outburst and gusts of dizzying inspiration with self discipline and technical skill. to do this i am going about reprogramming my brain on a pretty deep level. i have associated self discpline and structure with the emperor card on the tarot for so long... and carlyle, my controlling father... male, patriarchal, beard, stern, unloving, and source of great pain and rejection. i am reprograming my deep gut reactions so that i associate the balanced use of self discpline and structure with the incredible heart glow and satisfaction one experiences when we have achieved something... created something... done hard work and reaped the rewards... i am yet to have a physical image to associate this image with. no doubt it will bubble up in time.
so i've signed up to painting classes to aquire some technical skill. i've also started working through the 12 week course outlined in "The Artist's Way". i feel pretty brilliant about it actually. every morning i write three pages of free association, stream of consciousness... then (this bit i added myself) 10mins of just being present and centred in meditation.
the other cornerstone of the course is to set a 2hour artist date every week. this is not to do art... or even go see it necessarily... no this is to "fill the well" of inspiraiton. this is to totally indulge my inner child and play... walk the dogs with a mostache... sit on a tram and people watch... go roll around in the ikea ball pit... paint glitter on my nails... play dress ups... go to the pub and play a character completely different to how i normally present myself... dance in the rain... roll naked on a fluffy rug.... whatever. but its an activity that gives me energy rather than takes it. producing art and channeling art takes energy... drains the well. the artist's date is to replenish it in some way. i suspect that will be fun!
then there are a bunch of exercises to probe my psychology for blocks and generally get things flowing.
yep. this has got me all flushed with enthusiasm. this is gonna do me the world of good. for a while i have been focused on sex, love, and bizz.... have also been partying a lot... more alcohol than is good for me... these things are all good but they got out of balance. by putting my creativity in number one slot, these other things have naturally tumbled down the list. a way of changing without struggling. schweeet.
my favorite chair... have sat in this chair to create in various forms for years... love this old chair.
a lot of this has come about since confest. i was sitting in the holy cow cafe talking to an artist and he told me that self discipline is not the death of creativity like many seem to think. he told me that because he has the self discipline to get up every day and work on art even though he is not feeling inspired, inspiration strikes him more often. more self discipline = more inspiration hits. a lightbulb went off in me at that. i suddenly realised that structure is not the enemy. an obvious realisation to some perhaps but a life changing one for me.
so i am holding an internal marriage ceremony between saturn and uranus... both planets rule aquarius. one is the rebellious freedom seeker and well of innovative imagination while the other is, well the emporer card in the tarot... structure, sensible-ness and discipline. together , in a balanced way, can create anything... if i can pull this off, all this inspiration juice within me will be chanelled with purpose and fruit. i can be all i am capable of being.