Eragon: Chapter 2
ERAGON
Chapter Two - Palancar Valley
In Which MEAT.
This chapter goes to great lengths to paint a beautiful picture of Carvahall, Eragon's home village. We will remain in Palancar Valley for about eleven chapters. Out of fifty-nine. Most of those will take place around Eragon's house, which kind of means that we don't need that much exposition about Carvahall. Frankly, saying "Eragon went into the village" would have been enough exposition once Eragon goes into the village later.
But let's have a look at what's going on.
The sun rose the next morning in a glorious conflagration of pink and yellow.
...yeah.
So Eragon is still hanging out in the cursed mountains and, having had the deer explode on him last night, finally gets around to heading home (but not until he's told us about the solar conflagration because what.)
As he contemplates leaving, we then get this wonderful bit of exposition.
Though the trees grew tall and the sky shone brightly, few people could stay in the Spine for long without suffering an accident. Eragon was one of those few--not through any particular gift, it seemed to him, but because of persistent vigilance and sharp reflexes.
I distinctly remember, when I read this part of the chapter a couple of weeks ago, that I specifically BEAT MY FOREHEAD WITH THE BOOK.
"No, no!" cries the narrator. "Eragon isn't particularly special or cunning, he's just ultra vigilant and has really sharp reflexes!"
The thing that makes this even worse (not like it isn't already pretty sickening) is that the prior paragraph actually goes on to say that King Galbatorix, who we will eventually learn is the evil emperor (because he rules an empire, but calls himself a king-- yeah, I don't know), cannot hold the Spine under his thrall. I would like to repeat this; the evil king, who has nigh endless magical potential, absurd power, and massive armies, cannot rule over the Spine.
Meanwhile, this scrawny, dorky fifteen-year-old can.
Of course!
Anyway, for some reason we get a page and a half of exposition like this. Nothing happens. Literally nothing. Eragon wakes up, sets off, thinks about how badass he must be to survive in the Spine, points out the pretty sights and goes to sleep.
I am enthralled.
The next day and a half go by without any note at all (which makes me wonder why we couldn't just get "After the strange events of that night, Eragon decided it would be best to turn and head back home. He followed his tracks backwards, wending his way through the chill forest of the Spine, until he emerged, three days later and with most of his supplies gone, at the edge of the mountains, overlooking Palancar Valley." Save us some pages.)
Just to let you know, all of this explanation about topography can be safely ignored, so I'm going to do just that.
We get a fairly nice description of Carvahall at night (lanterns and candles twinkling in darkness-- I am going to admit that it's a nice enough image) before we are yanked sharply and painfully out of the mental image to be told that Carvahall is really out of the way and stuff. That's... that's great. Couldn't you fit that exposition somewhere else? I was almost vaguely getting into the mood of the moment.
Well, Paolini having recognized that he just lost my attention, he goes on to give some painfully mechanical description of how houses are made out of wood, and mostly have thatched roofs. I swear to you that I couldn't have gone on with this book if I didn't know what kinds of roofs most of the houses have. Thank you, sir! I am always concerned about whether medieval roofs are thatched or shingled!
And so, having slogged through all of that, we arrive at The Butcher's Shop, and get to meat (yeah, I just did that) one of the best characters.
But first, we must be told that the butcher's shop is meticulously cleaned. The butcher's shop. Is meticulously. Cleaned.
THE BUTCHER'S SHOP IS METICULOUSLY CLEANED.
This is something that doesn't even happen in modern day America. And you expect me to believe that this guy is so OCD that, in faux-medieval times, he managed to keep his butcher's shop spotless?
...yes. Yes, I will believe that, because I want to believe in Sloan.
Let's meet Sloan.
Sloan is described as being a small man, with a sallow, pockmarked face. Additionally, "his black eyes were suspicious." I am calling now that Sloan's eyes are going to be the ultimate villain of the series. (This will actually be scuppered by the third book for some pretty horrifying reasons.)
Sloan promptly begins berating Eragon "the mighty hunter" for having to stoop to buying meat from the butcher, and I am so very, very happy. Sloan is pretty verbally abusive here, making fun of Eragon for failing to kill anything and joining "us mortals" in the normal practice of buying meat from the butcher. He also addresses Eragon "with disdain, as though he were unclean", and we are told unequivocally through the narration that the only thing he cares about is his daughter Katrina. He proceeds to be horribly, horribly sarcastic to Eragon, who shuffles about uselessly and eventually tries to buy his meat with his stone.
Sloan is literally the only character in this book (only one that isn't absolutely a villain, anyway) that antagonizes Eragon like this. And it is pretty damn fantastic.
Why doesn't he like Eragon? Hell if I know. It's implied through the dialogue (and by 'implied' I mean it holds your hand because clearly you don't get the idea on your own) that Sloan is just a jackass by trade and hates everybody. Given how much everybody else just luuuuurves Eragon, he is, frankly, a breath of fresh air. He's also a sarcastic jackass, and I don't see why this guy doesn't have fan clubs dedicated to him. Seriously. He's sarcastic, and he eventually becomes one of the most tragic characters in the books. Maybe I should start one.
Eragon tries to buy his meat with the rock he found, and Sloan says he'll only give him 'three crowns', to which Eragon immediately says "That's a miser's bargain!", which seems to imply that it's not a lot of money, but for those of us that are just a little slow, Paolini reassures that this is not a lot of money. Thanks.
Sloan tells him to get it examined by 'the traders', which sounds to me like a group of people who occasionally enter Carvahall for purposes of trading goods and news. Paolini then goes out of his way to tell me that they're a group of people who occasionally enter Carvahall for purposes of trading goods and news. Thanks.
Eragon, of course, can't wait until they return for the year (the boy needs to have his pudding, and you can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat), and finally grudgingly accepts whatever Sloan will give him. As Sloan wanders back to get his meat (oh, god I just reread that sentence and I'm so sorry I wrote it), he inexplicably asks where Eragon got the rock. No, really:
"Good, I'll get you the meat. Not that it matters, but where did you find this?"
Thank god the author decided to tell me that this is nonsensical setup.
Eragon tells him that he got it from the Spine, and Sloan promptly pitches a fit, screaming for him to get out and take his evil Spine-rock with him. Eragon is confused and apparently can't figure out why somebody would freak out upon learning that a mysterious rock appeared in a fiery explosion in the middle of what is commonly considered a cursed mountain.
Before Eragon's brain can melt, though, Katrina -- Sloan's daughter -- and the local blacksmith, Horst, decide to charge into the fray because, um... dramatic timing.
Horst -- who I would like to repeat is the local blacksmith and therefore has no real appreciable pull in the town -- demands to know why Sloan won't give his meat to Eragon (that one was on purpose). Sloan tries to explain that Eragon came in and badgered him and now he won't leave, which is a bit of a twist of truth, but Horst immediately assumes that Sloan is lying and asks Eragon what happened. Eragon tells him, so Horst steps forward and demands to know why Sloan won't take the Mostly Likely Cursed Rock.
Sloan responds by telling him that "This is my own store. I can do whatever I want."
And you know what? THAT'S TRUE. If he doesn't want to trade Eragon his meat for some creepy-ass stone he found in the creepy-ass mountains because he doesn't want creepy-ass things to happen to him, that's within his rights.
But instead, Horst the Blacksmith promptly bullies Sloan into selling Eragon "his best steaks and roasts". I'm not even kidding, this asshole just walks in and says "give me your best" and Sloan says "you're buying it for that boy and I ain't sellin' to him" and Horst says, straight from the book, "Not selling to me would be a very bad idea."
What is this guy, the Carvahall mafia?
So Sloan goes back to get the damn meat and I have to stop here and ask why, exactly, Eragon is getting meat.
His family is poor. This is faux-medieval times. Meat was a food of the rich, rarely eaten by peasants who did not hunt for it themselves; butcher shops were something that only existed in very, very large towns, not tiny middle-of-nowhere villages. There shouldn't even be a butcher shop in Carvahall because it's just too tiny, and Eragon shouldn't be whining about how those three crowns will only afford enough meat 'for a week', because eating meat every day for a week is what the king manages. A peasant would be lucky to eat meat once a week. (Hell, in these modern times, I only bought steak twice while I was in college. Quite your whining, Eragon.)
So Sloan comes out with the meat and grudgingly hands them over, and as soon as they leave the shop Horst says that he's been waiting for years to be able to do that to Sloan (yeah, that'll tell him, paying that bastard for his best meat! You teach him humility!). Eragon asks what the hell was up with that, and Horst says he doesn't know, and we get this awesome piece of dialogue from Eragon:
"Well, now I have one more reason to hurry home... to solve this mystery."
That sounds completely natural and I applaud Paolini for really capturing the cadence of conversation. Good job, sir.
I'm going to stop being sarcastic now.
Horst tells Eragon to repay him by being his apprentice in the spring, and we get some unnecessary information about Horst and His Two Sons, whom I'm pretty sure won't be appearing in any significant capacity ever again.
We also get an explanation that Katrina apparently heard the row and decided to get Horst to take care of things. Because the blacksmith apparently is capable of making everybody listen to him.
Speaking of, Eragon spontaneously delivers a message from his cousin Roran, who apparently hasn't been in the village since Eragon left because he told Eragon to pass the message on to Katrina. How Roran has failed to go down to Carvahall for SEVEN DAYS and expected Eragon to remember something to stupid and trivial, I don't know. But Eragon delivers a sap-filled message of LUV to Katrina, who Roran is apparently smitten with. This will obviously go nowhere.
Finally, finally, Eragon extricates himself from conversation with Sloan and heads out to his house.
His house is ten miles from the village.
This means that, if it takes the average person about twenty minutes to walk a mile, it took him over three hours to get back to his house.
So I guess it actually isn't that weird that Roran hasn't been out here in seven days. I mean damn.
But I think this is more a situation where Paolini didn't bother thinking about the implications of what he was saying. For instance, in an earlier version of this book, Eragon's sword (oh, he gets a sword eventually, spoilers) is said to be five and a half feet long, which is about how tall he is, and is worn at his hip. So yeah.
We also get some exposition about how people think the distance from the village is dangerous because they can't call for help. This will certainly not be important.
We're treated to about two pages of talk about what this stupid house looks like. Apparently it's two stories tall and has actual wooden floors, and the family can afford to keep a cow, two horses, and a bunch of chickens. These people are RICH. Why was Eragon bitching about not having money?
Well, Eragon gets back home and speaks to Garrow, who apparently looks like he's been halfway mummified, and that's... kind of frightening. He demands to know why Eragon bought meat, and whether he's been accepting *gasp!* CHARITY! Apparently Garrow has a deathly fear of people being nice and sending him warm clothes for the window (although why this would happen in a time period where everybody only has just enough for themselves, and most likely less, I don't even know), but Eragon reassures him that he'll pay his dues. Garrow is really pissed off by this, too, because there are apparently massive amounts of chores to be done on their farm, and how is Eragon going to apprentice? Eragon says he has no idea and apparently doesn't really care.
They go inside, and Eragon shows off his giant rock to Garrow, who is thoroughly impressed and intrigued. We get even more talk about the traders appraising the stone (I think Paolini really wanted us to know about the traders that come through Carvahall. Really, really badly), and eventually Eragon asks why Sloan was so pissed off.
The explanation that we're given is that -- wait for it -- his wife fell off a waterfall and that's why he hates Eragon.
His wife fell over a waterfall. And that's why he hates Eragon.
...right on.
And so, at long last, Eragon decides that this happy information is what he can sleep soundly to, and heads off to bed.
Oh, right.
This is the second real chapter of the book. This is the second time we've ended a chapter with Eragon going to bed. Don't mean nothin' by it, just saying.
(Okay, I do mean something by it, and that something is that Paolini really has trouble writing good chapter transitions.)
And on that EXCITING! note, we have... basically not progressed the story at all.
Chapter 1: Discovery | Table of Contents | Chapter 3: Dragon Tales