Metalocalypse - Skwisgaar - The Princess (of Death Metal)
Medium: TV
Fandom: Metalocalypse
Subject: Skwisgaar, and more specifically his adolescence spent crossdressing and participating in beauty pageants to please his mom.
Title: The Princess (Of Death Metal)
Warnings: Um, me getting creative with character history, based on an incredibly cracky concept, and some m4as (also minor error on the back cover)
Notes: So basically my idea is that pretty boy that Skwisgaar is, when he was younger he was pretty enough to pass for female (with a little help from mr. padding) and his mom basically forced him to participate in beauty pageants because she wanted a daughter to carry on her legacy, and he agreed because he was desperate for her attention/affection. It goes along with the fic "Once Upon A Time" available here. Yes I acknowledge that is is loony.
1. Princess by Dressy Bessy
Ask her why she'll reply hey hey
We come by all the time hey hey
Princess is coming around i'm sure that the princess is coming around
Just seems like an appropriate song for the mix
2. Take a Walk on The Wild Side - The Velvet Underground
Hitch-hiked her way across the U.S.A.
Plucked her eyebrows on the way
Shaved her legs and then he was a she
She says, "Hey, babe
Take a walk on the wild side"
She said, "Hey, honey
Take a walk on the wild side"
He was probably still slutting it up even in women's clothing, I can imagine him propositioning the other contestants being all "Comes ons, takes a walks on de wild sides"
3. The Queen Of White Lies - The Orion Experience
Ooh, I like the way you make me feel like I could be
The number one game in town.
And all those pretty words you say to me, they pick me up
Whenever I'm feeling down.
But I know you're just a White Witch,
Putting that spell on me.
You know I love the punishment,
So girl keep telling me.
La-la-la Lies
Yeah tell me that you love me.
La-la-la Lies
Look deep into my eyes.
La-la-la Lies
Say there's no one else above me.
I'm the King of Fools, cause baby you're
The Queen of White Lies.
Actually this is a Serveta song, Skwisgaar craves her affection, and so does the pageants to keep her telling him that she loves him and what not.
4. Sex Changes - The Dresden Dolls
boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be boys will be girls with no warning
girls will be girls will be guys will be boys that don't cry over toys that they use to beat girls they despise by the morning
Appropriate in that it is both about sex and could be about crossdressing.
5. Grace Kelly - Mika
Why dont you like me
Why dont you like me
Why dont you like yourself?
Should I bend over?
Should I look older
just to be put on your shelf?
I try to be like Grace Kelly
mmm mmm
But all her looks were too sad
ahh ahh
So I tried a little Freddie
MMM MMM
I could be brown
I could be blue
I could be violet sky
I could be hurtful
I could be purple
I could be anything you like
Gotta be green
Gotta be mean
Gotta be everything more Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me?
Young and desperate for approval Skwisgaar
6. Boy Or A Girl - Imperial Drag
You came to grips with what you know
And boosted ratings for the daytime shows.
Now you're on top of the world.
I'm a fan so don't dismiss me.
America is armed and listening.
I imagine he got asked that a lot as a teenager.
7. She Needs Rock N' Roll - Motley Crue
She needs Rock N Roll (She's begging please)
She needs Rock N Roll
You know she's an underage angel with a dented halo
She needs Rock N Roll
Show Small town girl was a trailer park queen
Headin to the city with her starry-eyed dreams
I can just imagine him still dressed up in a big pouffy pageant gown rocking out along with heavy metal records.
8. Glamour Girl - Chicks On Speed
burlesque attitude
night-time thrill
she's a glamour girl
and her looks just kill
beware of her kiss
she'll suck you in
Self explanatory
9. Team Player - Seymore Saves the World
Jimmy writes a letter to his world
he's like a little girl and her friends
and I know what the weather's like in her town
Jimmy writes a letter to his mom
to make it very long
she knows the underlying meanings in his words
Cause she's a team player
are you? are you? and your mother knows
what's best for you.
And the weather's cold.
Serveta knows best?
10. Boys Better - Dandy Warhols
Boys had better beware
You could seem to color your hair.
Or on a wig, you already spent
all the dough to cover your rent.
But not so cool man
if you care, for all the
other boys caught in your
bleach job hair.
And girls better beware.
Girls and boys better beware.
11. Gravity - The Dresden Dolls
Necks are cracking sideways,
Hit me from the back side.
I am on the white side,
You are on the black side.
Cut a piece that's bite size,
Shoot me from my good side.
If you got a straight line,
This'd be a good time
Sounds a bit like a photoshoot.
12. Pretty - The Bowery Riots
Sexy girls and all the pretty boys
are out in new york city
she heard us talking, talking about her
but it's alright cause she's so pretty
Skwisgaar was the prettiest one.
13. Girls Who Play Guitars - Maximo Park
We used to talk about girls who played guitars
Again girly Skwisgaar with his axe.
14. You and I Misbehaving - Tilly And The Wall
I imagine he got bullied looking the way he did.
15. Like Sexy Dynamite - The Orion Experience
You're like sexy dynamite,
You cause explosions inside me every night.
You're like sexy dynamite,
You cause explosions inside me every night.
All of my life I've been waiting for this.
Illuminate the sky with your electrifying kiss.
You're gonna take me down but I just can't resist,
Skwisgaar in lingerie... think about it, it is like sexy dynamite
16. Love Bomb Baby - TigerTailz
YOU'RE NOT A LADY
YOU'RE A LOVE BOMB, BABY
LOVE BOMB BABY
COME 'N' BLOW ME AWAY
CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF YOUR
SWEET, SWEET LOVIN'
KEEP IT COMING'
OH BABY FIRE AWAY
AH HA-AH, OH YEAH
(Yes the lyrics are literally always written in all caps) and he's not a lady... he's a love bomb, baby
17. Dancing Queen - ABBA
You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing Queen, feel the beat, from the tambourine oh yeah
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
Ooo.. see that girl, watch that scene, diggin' the Dancing Queen
Bonus points because they're Swedish and it's hilarious.
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